Redemption
by AaronEmilyLove2005
Summary: Hotch, Emily and Jack have their lives turned upside down and Hotch is the center of all of it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : I do not own anything. This is for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: This story does contain BDSM and it will show Hotch in a completely different light, but please give this story a chance. It consists of alot more than sex and BDSM. I needed the beginning to be as graphic as it is to show the healing process of this family. If you're reading and feel that you should stop reading, that is your choice of course but I can assure you that things will change. If you do not like this type of story whatsoever, please read another of my stories that doesn't contain this material. ;-)

REDEMPTION

He stood in the viewing room watching Emily as she interrogated William Ellis, Hotch realized that Emily almost had the suspect right where she wanted him. That was until William touched a nerve inside Emily with a remark that even her inner agent couldn't let slide.

"You were there William...you were there!" Emily shouted as she pounded her fist to the table they both sat at. "You took those women from their homes, you hung them up like slab of meat and you tortured them!" she added as she let her back fall roughly against the back of her chair.

William smiled at Emily and Hotch cringed from the other side of the glass. "You don't know what you're talking about...Emily. You think you've got it all figured out!" his eyes widening as he waved his arms in front of her.

With frustration running through her veins, Emily crossed her arms, remaining seated and continued. "Well William, you aren't that hard to figure out. You see we have your fingerprints on the little torture toys found in your basement and more importantly your DNA all over Michelle Couette and Nichole White. You tortured them and then you ripped their clothes to shreads along with their dignity when you raped them. Is that what you did to your wife too?

William leaned back in his chair, speechless, and Emily could Emily took the advantage. "Am I getting a little closer now William?

"Look pretty lady..." William began when Emily raised herself quickly out of her seat and brought her face close to his.

"It's Agent Prentiss to you, you sick son of a bitch!" she yelled.

"Okay...okay...Agent Prentiss" he replied with a tone that made her skin crawl.

"Where is she?!" Emily screamed louder, now pounding the table with her hand.

"I'll tell you where she is if... " he tried.

"There is no '_if_'. You tell me where she is or your ass will rot in prison!" Emily warned him.

William smiled at Emily and it made her stomach turn. Hotch could see the determination in her eyes to bury this guy once and for all. He had been raping, torturing and killing women for years and the case had really gotten to Emily when she and Reid had missed the opportunity to save Catherine Couette by only seconds.

"So...does that mean you're gonna cut me a deal if I tell you?" he asked.

Emily took in a much needed breath, stepped back and sighed. "What it means is that your sorry ass may not get the punishment that it deserves if you give me something."

Ellis looked around the room for a moment and then patted the table with his confined hand. "I'll tell you what...Agent...I'll tell you where she is...and you give me 20 minutes to show you what a real man is like."

Emily was enraged and was doing well as far as Hotch was concerned just by the fact that she hadn't ripped Ellis' head off yet.

"A real man? A real man doesn't have to rape women to get a little. You can't get it up unless someone is begging you to stop!" she lashed out, standing over Ellis.

William gave Emily a smile that made even Hotch feel uncomfortable. "You wouldn't beg me to stop though, would you? You look like a woman that would give it up pretty easily."

In seconds, Emily was across the table, her right fist connecting with William's left jaw. By the time she pulled her fist back preparing for another blow, Hotch had a hold of her by the waist, pulling her from across the table and to stand on the floor.

"Out. Now!" he told Emily with the most feral glare she had ever seen from him.

She knew then that she had gone overboard and immediately apologized to Hotch. "I'm sorry Sir, but he..."

"I heard what he said and I _saw_ what you did! Out!" he yelled as he pushed her toward the door with his firm hand on her upper arm.

Emily left the room, slamming the door and walking straight to her desk. She was furious at Hotch but knew she had crossed the line. She sat in her chair, shaking from her anger as she jerked her jacket from her body and laid it carelessly across the back of her chair. Hotch left the interrogation room and messaged Morgan to finish the job with Ellis.

Five minutes later, Hotch walked quickly to the bullpen and up to Emily's desk. He leaned over to speak lowly.

"I want you to go home. I want you to prepare everything in the guest room tonight." he told her harshly.

Emily looked up at the man that she had been living with for three months now and she had come to know that the consequences of her actions would not be simply ignored or forgotten and better yet, that they would be taken care of by Hotch's own repercussions.

"I'm sorry Hotch. I was just upset. I'll..." she began with her remorseful words as she begged him with her big brown eyes.

Hotch leaned closer to her ear. "I don't believe there was one word of my instructions that would leave room for arguement, do you?" he said.

"No...no Sir." Emily said, looking away from him and back to the papers on her desk.

"Good. Have everything laid out...and I mean everything. I'm not sure exactly what I'll need."

Emily watch Hotch immediately walk toward his office as she continued to sit still, her spine stiffening. She was in a daze, staring into space until the slam of Hotch's office door brought her back to reality; the reality that in about an hour Hotch was going to punish her and there was no doubt that this time he would be more thorough than he ever had. She glanced up to his office window awkwardly and noticed him getting his things together. 'Is he leaving now?' she thought to herself. If he was leaving now before finishing the files he had told her about earlier, then he was pissed. She opened her desk drawer and took out a small bottle of Advil. She put four tablets in her mouth along with three swallows of her bottled water she'd had on her desk. She had a headache and she knew why. She was stressed and she didn't want to go home with him.

Against his own opinion of the idea, Hotch let her have a safe word incase she felt she needed it. He didn't really think she needed it. He felt that she would be able to handle anything that he put her through after what she'd experienced physically on the job. What he didn't know about was the emotional rollercoaster that the punishment was taking her on. Seconds later, Hotch barreled straight out of the office and down to Emily's desk. He stopped to stand beside her desk and looked down at her as she reluctantly looked up at him.

"Lets go" he whispered to her. "Now." he added firmly.

Emily stood immediately, not thinking for one second about defying him. She was going to talk to him tonight but she needed to let him calm down first. She couldn't do this anymore. She felt guilty for asking him to do this in the first place. When she first asked, it took him two weeks to agree to it. She tried to explain how she thought it would help and how she was such a procrastinator and how she couldn't control her anger, which had gotten her and Hotch both in hot water more than once, which infuriated Hotch. She wanted to change. She wanted to do her job without reprimandations. There were just some things that she couldn't control and the asshole in the interrogation room was a prime example. Hotch and Emily had experimented some in the bedroom using his tie, a blindfold and delivering quite a few spankings to her. He assumed the "punishment" wouldn't be a far cry from what they had done already but as time went on, Emily asked for a harsher punishment and Hotch gave it to her. She had never used her safe word but Hotch knew in the back of his mind that the time was coming to when she may actually need it.

As she raised herself up out of her desk chair, she looked around the bullpen to see that there was no one else around.

"Hotch...I need to talk to you" she told him lowly.

"You are not getting out of this one. I let it slide when you took it upon yourself to take an unsub down solo and what happened after that Emily?" he asked, knowing she knew the answer.

"No Hotch, that's not..." she began.

"What. Happened. Emily?" he repeated, towering above her, intimidating her. She had wanted this, and Hotch finally agreed to it, and when Hotch set out to do something, there was no changing his mind. He had also seen how it had brought big changes concerning the job. The only reason he let her slide with the solo take down last month was because told him that she had a migraine. She didn't. She lied and he found out that she had lied, but never told her. He kept it to himself. He had left their apartment to run to the store. He had gotten all the way to the car before he realized he'd forgotten his keys. He walked back up to their second floor apartment finding Emily listening to her iPod. The device was attached to her hip and music was blaring in her ears as she danced around in the bedroom. She never saw him. This punishment agreement was doing things for Hotch also, but not such good things. He kept his knowledgement about the lie a secret. He selfishly kept it for himself incase he needed it later.

"A week later I did it again." she admitted, looking away from him.

"I rest my case. Go home Emily." he voiced a little louder.

"But..." Emily dangerously spoke.

Hotch was becoming irate quickly. He stared into her watery brown eyes.

"We may not have ridden to work together but don't think I won't pick up your pretty little ass and put you in my car. Now do you want to do as you're told or should I make a few rules up of my own for this little gem you came up with?" he lashed out with the loudest voice he could use at the moment.

"No" she replied and then grabbed her purse and jacket, then turning away from him.

Hotch grabbed her by the arm. "How do you address me?"

"Sir" she said nervously. "No Sir" she told him as she brought her hand to her forehead in pain and attempted to wiggle out of his grip. "I have a headache. Can you let go of me now please?"

Hotch laughed. "A headache?" he asked sarcastically. "Don't try that one on me Emily. Go to your car. Straight to your car. I left something in my office. I'll be right behind you." he told her as he released his grip from her. Emily did as she was told and went directly to her car and drove home. As she exited the glass doors, an agent walked up to Hotch.

"Everything okay over here?" the agent asked.

Hotch moved closer to the small man. "Doesn't every look okay over here agent?" he asked sarcastically as the agent nodded his head. "I think it would be best if you would mind your own business."

"Okay...geez" the man replied, avoiding Hotch's intense glare, and walked away.

Hotch went to his office to get something from his desk and then headed home. He was having a battle with himself. He knew Emily wanted him to do this and he only took this on because she wanted it and because he loved her enough to try to help her. Now things were different. Hotch was beginning to be sexually attracted to the idea of punishing her. He found that he literally climaxed from hearing her grunts and cries while he was unleashing his punishment on her. One minute he could be craving to make love to her and not punish her and the next minute he wanted to make her gain repentance for what she had done. He had honestly had enough of her deviance and she wanted him to help her. He would have never thought of anything like this to help her but now he was so wrapped up in it that he couldn't and didn't want to stop. He tried but things had gone too far now and on his way home, Hotch had gotten as hard as ever as the taxi he called for pulled into the parking lot of Frank's Pub. His mind flooded with thoughts of what he was going to do to her tonight.

Emily walked into their apartment and then into the bedroom, throwing her jacket and purse on the bed in frustration. She may not have been able to stand up to him at the office but she was going to when he got home. She just had to somehow get him out of the mode he was in. She knew she had made the deal but he wouldn't listen to her when she'd said she needed to talk to him. It frightened her that he was acting this way. He did tell her that if he was going to do this that it was going to be all or nothing and that if she really wanted to do this and thought that it would help her, then he was going to stick to his end of the deal. It was agreed that if she changed her mind, she wouldn't hold it against him later.

Emily went into the bathroom, ran a hot bath and soaked for about twenty minutes before getting out and dressing herself. The Advil had finally kicked in and she was able to just relax for a while. She had done a lot of thinking about how she was going to tell him that she wanted to break the deal. She put on shorts and a pink tank top over her matching pink bra and panties, which were his least favorite, leaving her feet bare. She chose to wear his least favorite out of spite. She brushed through her long wet hair and then went into the living room, turned on the stereo and went into the kitchen to fix herself a drink. She was going to need it. The beer in the fridge didn't look appetizing at all. The wine didn't either. She needed something more. She decided on the bourbon. She poured herself a glass and moved to the living room, taking the bottle with her. Forty minutes later, Hotch still wasn't there. She was concerned about him because he had told her that he'd be right behind her. After a couple more drinks, she decided to text him.

_Hey where are you?_

Three minutes later he replied.

_I'll be there soon. Just make sure you have everything ready. That's all you should worry about._

Emily had noticed that Hotch had begun to take a much harsher tone with her since all of this started and she even noticed it when things were going good and she wasn't being reprimanded.

_I'll see you when you get here._ She texted angrily.

She didn't receive another text from him but 15 minutes later, she heard the key in the lock of the front door. That sound had made Emily cringe many times before. Yes, she asked for the deal and she knew it had helped but that didn't stop the twist in her gut when he would come through the door with that persistent look in his eyes.

Emily remained on the couch, not looking toward the door as he entered. He walked to the couch to stand in front of her. He gripped the armrest to brace himself as he leaned over and kissed her on the lips gently. Emily didn't exactly reciprocate, mainly because the smell of his breath repulsed her. He was drunk. That's why he was so late getting home.

Hotch got the hint and pushed himself back up to stand before her though his eyes never left her. He thought that he obviously hadn't let Emily squirm long enough while waiting for him. That was his whole reasoning for being late. He had taken a cab to the bar for a few drinks. He needed to think and he wanted her to sit at home and think about what she had done. Obviously she hadn't.

"I'm going to take a shower and then we will get started" he told her, pulling his suit jacket off.

"Aaron..." she tried, finally looking up at him.

"Emily I believe you heard me" he replied loudly.

"I did. I just wanted to ask if I could talk to you for a few minutes first." she informed him, knowing she was manipulating him. She couldn't just start the conversation up by wanting to discuss ending the deal. He would cut her off immediately and never give her a chance to speak. He would just think she was trying to get out of it again.

Hotch sighed. "Whatever it is, it can wait another hour or so."

"An hour or so? Aaron...what the..." she replied as she stood up in front of him.

"Emily do I have to keep reminding you whose idea this was?" he said, his tone uncaring.

"No..you don't." she barely spoke, her voice breaking. She knew he was right.

"Good. I'm going to take a shower. I will meet you in the guest room in twenty minutes." he said and then walked heavily to their master bath.

Emily sat back down and remained there the whole time that Hotch was in the shower. She had a couple more drinks and the harder she thought about this, the more determined she became to tell him what she wanted him to hear, whether he wanted to hear it or not.

Big mistake.


	2. Chapter 2

Emily heard a door open and then slam. After his shower, Hotch had opened the guest room door and peeked inside to see that Emily hadn't prepared the room as he told her to do. She heard his footsteps grower louder as he approached her in the living room, still on the couch with her tumbler. She stood up as he reached the couch, trying to match his brutal stare but not succeeding. His eyes bore through hers, his pupils larger than she'd ever seen.

"Is there a specific reason that you didn't do what I expected of you or did you just want to make things harder on yourself?" he asked, inching closer to her as she stood there holding her tumbler, the liquid sloshing back and forth inside it. He moved even closer. "'Cause let me tell you something Emily. There isn't a reason you could give me that is going to prevent you from the awakening you're about to have." She was trembling. What the hell has all of this done? What had she done? She knew at that exact moment that she was just going to have to say it.

"Yes, there is a specific reason Aaron. I'm done with this. The deal is over. I can't do this anymore!" she finally released.

Hotch's blood began to boil. "I will tell you when this is over!" he yelled, giving her no choice but to smell the liquor on his breath again.

Shocked at his words, Emily's eyes widened and her heart raced. "Aaron" she said, being careful with her tone. "What is wrong with you lately?"

"What is wrong with _me_?" he replied abruptly with an unnerving snicker. "_You_ Emily! You're what's wrong with me lately!" he revealed as he saw her mouth open in astonishment.

"Yes _you_ Emily. You asked me to do this. You asked me to help you with whatever this...this problem you have with your insecurities and your failures and your responsibilities, and most of all your insubordination episodes, and I only agreed to it because I love you. I wanted to help you, so I agreed. You told me you didn't want me to go easy on you or 'let things slide' as you explained. You said it wouldn't do any good. Now you're trying to get out of it when we agreed to at least two months with no insubordination. And now here we are again two weeks after your last little stunt. So either you love the punishment or I'm not doing something right here because you continue to defy me."

Emily stood in front of him in the tension filled room. She took another drink and finally spoke the words she had been wanting to say. "Maybe it's _you_ that likes it a little too much Aaron. Maybe you just look for any little thing to punish me for." she told him, watching his expression as it turned colder than ever. But his glare didn't take precedence over the nerve that the bourbon had given her. "You just can't stand it when you're not in charge of everything! You walk around doing the same things in the field that we all get reprimanded for! Well, I've got news for you Aaron! Everyone is tired of it, including me. You're not so infallible after all!"

Emily, along with the tumbler in her hand, fell to the couch as she felt his knuckles collide with her right cheek and the liquor splash against her chest. She sat dazed for a few seconds as Hotch stood over her, fuming. Before she could push herself up from the couch, Hotch had both of her wrists behind her back, pulling her up. He pulled her to her feet , turned her around and pushed her down the hall toward the guest room. She couldn't believe he had back handed her. He never so much as acted as if he was going to hit her before.

"What the fuck Aaron? Let go of me!" she yelled, her voice shaking.

" Shut up Emily. Shut your mouth and walk." he said, one hand holding both wrists behind her back and the other buried in her hair, torturously reminding Emily of being pushed down the halls of that smelly old building in Boston by Doyle. She remained quiet for the moment as she tried to figure out what to do and how to get him to calm down.

Instead of taking her to the guest room, where they both agreed would be the designated place for the punishment, he headed for their bedroom. Emily felt the tears rolled down her face as they entered the room and as she realized that he was going to scar the sacredness of the room they shared; the room where he had made love to her many nights and made her feel whole again, something she hadn't felt in a very long time.

Hotch kept Emily's wrists confined, which she knew would be bruised, as he pushed her carelessly to the bed on her stomach. She laid on her stomach, watching as he took his handcuffs from his pants that were lying on the bed. He slapped the cuffs on her wrists behind her back as he had done in the field to unsubs so many times before. She laid on her stomach, turning her head to her left to find Hotch with his hand on his belt, pulling it roughly from the loops of his jeans. The smack his belt made when being released from the loops, made Emily jump.

"Aaron!" she literally screamed, knowing that with his demeanor, he was going to hurt her.

"Not another word Emily. This time we're doing things my way." he growled with depravity in his tone. "Dont you move!" he said as she rolled over to her side, attempting to push herself up to a sitting position. He reached to her quickly, grabbing his tie from nearby, pushing her back down to her stomach. He laid his tie and belt at the foot of the bed and immediately straddled her body, his hard cock rubbing against her ass through her shorts.

"I'm going to take the cuffs off of you for a second and you're going to remain still... aren't you Emily?" he asked firmly, changing his plan he'd made earlier on the ride home.

Emily nodded her head until his firm grip of her hair stopped her movements. "Is that how you address me right now?" he asked, taking the key from his suit pocket, waiting for the appropriate answer.

"No...Yes Sir...I will. I'll be still." she replied weakly.

"I'm not going to hurt you Emily, not more than I think you can take." he said as he brushed her hair lightly with his hand. "I'm going to finally take you to the point to where we see lasting effects" he added as he released the cuffs. "And somehow I believe we will reach that tonight" he said as he moved off of her thighs but didn't leave the bed, not wanting to give her a chance to run.

"Turn over" he told her, noticing she complied without hesitation, lying on her back. He straddled her body, took a hold of her sore wrists and placed the handcuffs back on her, this time in front of her, then throwing the key to the nightstand just so Emily would have them in reach, but only by her vision. He reached to the foot of the bed and grabbed the tie. He put her hands above her head, looping the tie through the cuffs and tying them to one of the wide rungs on the headboard, leaving her little to no room to move.

"Be smart Emily" he warned her, picking up his belt and taking it to the bathroom. She knew what he had planned and it made her grit her teeth and struggle against the bondage. She heard the water running and it just made her try harder for her escape.

As she struggled, Hotch could hear the bed creaking and the small grunts that filled the room.

"Emily... I swear to god, I'm warning you!" he yelled from the bathroom where he stood holding the belt under the hot water flowing from their garden tub. Emily remained still and quiet, resting until she gained her strength to try again. Hotch came from the bathroom, now in only his black boxer briefs, with scissors and his belt, which had water dripping from it.

Emily laid on the bed, looking up at him as he laid the belt on the bed, then taking the scissors in his hand. He dipped the bed when he placed one of his knees beside her. She felt the cold scissors touch her skin and she knew not to move as he began cutting her shirt. She looked into his eyes, trying to change his mind somehow. She thought if she could just get him to look at her for five seconds without looking away, that she could bring him back from this dark place he was in. No hope. He determinedly cut her pink tank top from her body, revealing her pink laced bra. He jerked her shorts down roughly, leaving her matching panties on. He threw her shorts and the ruined pink top to the floor. He took in the beautiful sight before him and gave Emily and smile that made her skin crawl. He loved lingerie. He loved leaving some things to the imagination, at least for a little while. After removing most of her clothing, Hotch grabbed the wet leather belt and stood beside the bed in silence. He stood there thinking about the whole day and how he believed that Emily had pushed his buttons purposely. His anger arose higher than he could even comprehend anymore. It was like he was in the room, but he wasn't. He felt that he had no control over how he felt and that he wasn't going to be able to stop the punishment he felt she very much deserved.

Emily looked over at him as another tear ran down her face. He was oblivious to her emotions at the moment. "May I say something?" she asked, her voice begging him.

"Yes, but make it brief" he replied coldly.

"Please don't use a wet belt again. You know how much it hurt when we tried it" she reminded him vainly.

"Yeah, I know it did." he concured heartlessly as he moved to their closet, three feet away, to pull a blindfold from the box containing items the two of them had used before. Hotch had brought the box into their bedroom one night when the two of them got very kinky, so thats where it had been put away. In seconds, he was beside the bed again.

"Lift your head" he demanded, slipping the blindfold over her eyes as the suede soaked up her tears.

Emily laid in wait for what was about to come. She knew from sparing in the gym with Hotch, that she could never get away from him even if she got loose, so she contemplated accepting surrender. He had never given it to her like this. She was always on her stomach. She knew the front of her body would be much more sensitive and she had decided then and there that she was not going to let him break her.

He stood for a few seconds more. This was the moment he would ask for her safe word, after she had finally convinced him three weeks ago that they should agree on one. He didn't ask. He just stood in a daze, gazing at her beautiful body that he was about to mark.

"No talking unless you're spoken to. Do you understand?" he asked.

"Yes Sir. I understand but could I ask something first Sir?" she replied nervously.

"You're stalling Emily...what is it?" he asked.

"Could you tell me you love me please?" she asked her voice breaking.

"I do love you Emily but this has nothing to do with my love for you, with the exception that it's what you asked me to do. Now, stop the tears." he ordered her crudely. "Count them Emily. Five." he said, knowing she knew full well what he meant.

"And my safe word?" she asked, almost begging him.

Without hesitation he spoke darkly. "Not tonight. Now count!"

"Yes Sir" she whispered, her voice weakening. She wasn't surprised that he avoided the safeword in this state of mind. Would he really let it go to far? Was she really safe?

"I better hear you or there will be consequences. Understood?"

"Yes Sir" she replied a little louder.

Hotch gave her the first lash, his hand gripping the belt at it's buckle, as he brought the lengthy piece of wet leather across Emily's thigh, prompting her teeth to clench tightly. He had always folded the belt when he used it, but this time he held only the buckle which caused the marks he inflicted to be doubled in size. Taking a breath, she spoke. "One!" she said loudly as a grin graced Hotch's face as he felt the constriction his cock was causing in his underwear.

"Two" she shrieked as the leather struck her hip hard, making her body tense all over and causing her will to fight to increase. Hotch watched as Emily began to squirm. "Don't make it harder on yourself Em." he warned as the belt came down for the third time, this time striking her ass during her struggle.

This time the stinging went on and on as she tried to catch her breath. She found herself holding her breath in between his lashes, thinking maybe it wouldn't hurt as bad. Nothing helped and when he delivered the next blow, her back arched as the belt crossed over her breast.

"Three!" she cried out, shaking her head back and forth, determined not to beg him to stop.

"Ahh!" she moaned loudly, fighting the urge to scream as she took the fourth impact, realizing that he may have broken the skin. "Four!" Her will power was now shredded completely when she finally pleaded. "Please Sir."

He loved to hear her beg and the more she whimpered and moaned, the more he just wanted to fuck her senseless. "One more baby. You can take it" he teased as she felt the belt slowly running down her body to her clit. As much as she wanted this over with, she couldn't deny the sensation between her legs. Her clit ached as he continued to stroke it lightly, hearing her moan.

Hotch saw all of the red marks that had appeared on her pale skin and revelled in the fact that he put them there. He watched as she bit her lip while he teased her over and over with the belt. He knew she was enjoying this more than she let on. He had seen how he'd been able to bring her to more than one orgasm with his punishing techniques.

"Sir.. " she tried, blind and helpless to his assault on her.

"Shh" he said quickly as he brought the belt down on her clit, fairly hard, but nothing like the others had been.

"No!" she literally cried out, knowing he would be upset at her for not asking to speak and not continuing to count. She knew without a doubt that he would punish her for her inconsistently.

"I warned you!" he yelled as she heard his belt slice the air and make contact with her other thigh significantly harder than it ever had.

"F...Five!...Six!" she screamed, her voice slowly fading into a whimpering cry. She felt the blood as it ran down the side of her thigh.

Emily rolled her body over to it's side and Hotch saw the crimson shade of liquid as it fell to the white sheets of their bed. As far as she was concerned, this room would never be the same. She would never be the same.

Hotch's state of mind was completely different from Emily's. He was hard as a rock and the blood was painfully pulsing through his cock. "That's enough" he told her, relieving some anxiety from her immediately, giving her hope that he was finally finished. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. He laid the belt on the bed and walked back to the closet, retrieving two black straps with small buckles on them and walked back to the bed. Emily was trapped in darkness not knowing what he was about to do next.

"Aaron?" she slipped out carefully. May I...speak?"

"What is it Emily?" he asked in an irritable tone.

"What are you going to do Sir?" she asked in almost a whisper as he ignored her question.

Hotch moved to the foot of the bed and looked up at her lying there for the taking. "Give me your feet" he said reaching for her left ankle.

Emily remained quiet, miserably waiting for what he was about to do. The touch of his hand on her ankle made her feel a couple of different feelings. She loved him and the smallest as mount of arousal came over her as he prepared to bind her ankles at the foot of the bed. She was sure she didn't deserve to be backhanded but she did think maybe the words she said to Hotch earlier were uncalled for. She felt like she had disappointed him once again and that she should be punished. But undoubtedly, she was also scared. Hotch was in rare form and she had never seen him this way. Not even close to this.

He wrapped one end of the strap around her ankle and the other around the bedpost. He did the same for the other with no fight from Emily. She was emotionally and physically drained causing her own words spoken to an UNSUB to fill her mind.

_"Play along" _


	3. Chapter 3

Emily laid alone in their bedroom while Hotch left the room. It seemed like he had been gone forever as she laid there confined, but it had only been long enough for him to go to the kitchen and back. He walked into the room, grinning when he noticed that Emily heard him. She began to squirm and it made his cock harder. Emily heard liquid sloshing as he took a big swallow of bourbon, straight from the bottle and sat it on the nightstand. She was sadly convinced that it wasn't water he was drinking.

There she laid face up on the bed, her hands above her head and her legs spread apart, just the way he had imagined them all day.

"Do you understand why I'm doing this?" he asked her as she heard his voice travel around the room as he circled the bed, holding the bottle of bourbon in his left hand.

"Yes Sir. Because I attacked a suspect... which is most likely our UNSUB." she replied, regretful that the last part of her answer was delivered in a sarcastic tone. She didn't know he had picked up the belt again.

"Ughh" she screamed, right after hearing the jingle of his belt buckle. Her abdomen and side whelped immediately after a tremendous sting.

"You better watch that mouth Emily" he warned, taking another drink. "I'll have to put something in it if you don't and it's not what you may think. There's no way I'd give you pleasure right now and we both know how you get off on sucking my cock."

Emily somehow kept her voice from cracking as she took in the truth of his words. "I'm sorry Sir" she said firmly so that she was sure that he understood her words.

"I expect you to be still." he said as she heard him moving around the room, taking another large drink and sitting the bottle on the nightstand. Hotch went to the closet once more to retrieve a couple of other items he wanted to use. He laid the items on the bed between her ankles. "I have a new treat. I was saving these in my office for a special occasion but tonight we're gonna find out if Emily likes it...and I'm betting she will." he ridiculed her as she had no clue to what he was going to do. "Don't move."

Emily stayed still and took deep breaths as he picked up the scissors, sliced the front of her bra, and then the shoulder straps. He pulled the lacy garment out from under her body and threw it to the floor. As she remembered him telling her that he wouldn't hurt her, she felt the sudden force against her hips as he ripped her panties from her with a deep groan. Then she reluctantly remembered his exact words.

_'I'm not going to hurt you Emily, not more than I think you can take'_

Her will to be still was fading quickly as she realized he used the words 'not more than_I_ think you can take_.'_ instead of what _she_ _knows_ she can take. That's why he never asked for a safe word. She remained still but then jerked a little when the sound of a lighter broke the silence.

"This is going to be hot but only temporarily" he assured her as he held the long stick of wax in one hand and lit the fresh wick, watching Emily begin to pull against the cuffs and ankle straps.

He kept the candle back away from the bed and lean over to whisper in her ear. "If you can't be a good girl...you'll never get out of this room. Be. Still."

His tone was unnerving and all she could do was comply. "Yes Sir" she whimpered as she halted her movements. Hotch let the candle burn and watched as the liquid wax began to pool up around the wick.

"Relax" he said as he leaned the candle sideways over her thigh and let the hot liquid fall to her skin.

A groan escaped her mouth as her body tensed at the contact, but she made no other movement. She felt the hot wax burn her skin but not worse than any burn she had acquired in the kitchen while cooking, though the burning itself was different.

Hotch didn't say anything though he did realize this wasn't much of a punishment for her if it didn't hurt. He noticed that her body relaxed and assumed this was having no effect. He moved the burning candle, now supplied with more ammunition, to her breasts. He gave no warning as he let the liquid fall once again.

"Fuck!" she screamed, not able to control herself. "Plea...Ahhh!" she began yelling when another splash of wax hot splashed onto her other breast, causing her to bite her lip. This turned Hotch on even more. He loved her mouth and the more he watched her lick her lips and bite them, the thought of them wrapped around his cock seemed more and more enticing.

"I warned you Emily. What is it gonna take for you to believe what I say to you? I told you no talking unless you're spoken to", he reminded her and paused to see if she'd dare defy him again. "Do you like this Emily? And don't you fucking lie to me because I will know." he lashed out.

Emily knew he could profile her even though her eyes were hidden. "Yes Sir. A little" she admitted.

"Does it make you ache for me?" he teased as he held the candle over her abdomen.

"Yes Sir, it does. Please Sir..." she begged.

"Please what Emily?" he tormented her.

"Not there, please" she pleaded with him.

"Emily...do you really think I'd harm your pretty little pussy?" he asked, appauled at her assumption as he pushed one of his thick fingers inside of her slowly.

"Nngh...I...I don...don't know Sir" she release with a moan when she felt a small bit of of the hot substance at her waist line as he pushed and pulled his finger repeatedly, then added another.

Hotch laughed lowly. "I think you do. You'll learn to trust me one day. Maybe sooner than later huh?"

"Yes...Sir" she replied, as she sniffled heavily, trying to hide her emotions.

Hotch knew she was crying again and had a fleeting moment where he had the smallest consideration for her feelings. Unfortunately for Emily, that didn't last long. He pulled his fingers from her, leaving her empty. He blew out the candle and took it to the bathroom sink. He ran water over the wick, washed his hands and then filled a small cup beside the sink with water. After drinking it down, he filled the cup again. His thirst seemed unquenchable. He threw water on his face quickly then walked back to the bedroom where Emily was still squirming. He loved making her wait, fighting the unknown.

"You're gonna wear yourself out Em and we're only halfway there." he informed her as he picked up the other secret novelty which laid between her legs. Hotch took off his boxer briefs and got on the bed and settled between Emily's legs, his cock hard as a rock. There was no blood in his brain at the moment and he felt dazed.

Emily felt the hair on his legs against her skin and knew that he had taken off his pants, at the least. She wasn't a hundred percent sure that he was going to fuck her because, depending on the punishment, he would leave sexual pleasure out of the act completely. Sometimes he'd punish her by getting her to the brink of an orgasm and then not allow her to cum. One night, she couldn't control her body, no matter the consequences, and she came anyway. It was the worst punishment she had experienced, but no comparison to tonight. What Emily didn't know was that this was the part he had waited for all evening. He couldn't wait to slide into her.

He laid the novelty at the corner of the bed and gazed at the beautiful woman in front of him, who waited nervously on his next advances on her.

"Have you thought about what you did today?" he asked almost sweetly.

"Yes Sir I have and I want to sincerely apologize" she said meaningfully.

"Oh don't worry... I've got the perfect way for you to make up for this." he said as he moved up, straddling her torso until his cock was right before her beautiful lips. Hotch held himself in his hand as he inched closer to her mouth. He tapped her lips with his cock somewhat hard.

"Open your mouth Em" he ordered. She did so immediately and he hastily put the tip between her soft lips and then pushed himself halfway into her mouth.

"Fuck...you're mouth is so hot. Take me Emily..." he said, his tone rigid. "...all of me" he added as he reached to the back of her head, pushing more of himself into her mouth slowly. Hotch had never experienced a high like this before, not even with her. He could hardly feel his fingertips that were now stroking her cheek. The only feeling he had was her wrapped around him so tight as she sucked him the way she knew she'd better do.

"Further Em." he groaned as he pushed her head forward until the tip of his cock almost reached the back of her throat. His slow motions didn't last for long and Emily didn't know how much more of him she could take. She turned her head to try to pull him out of her mouth but Hotch's adrenaline rush wouldn't let her. After another inch further, he realized that she couldn't take all of him and found it somewhere inside not to force her to. Emily felt the sweat falling from his body as he stroke himself in and out of the warmth of her mouth. _'Why is he sweating so bad?'_ she wondered. It wasn't that hot in the apartment and he was barely moving over her.

"You really do enjoy sucking me don't you Emily?" he asked with a dark grin as he continued his motions with his hands holding her face, finally pulling himself from her mouth so she could speak.

"Yes...Sir...I do" she said, hoping, to no avail, that he would let her continue to talk. Hotch eased himself back into the warmness then pushing and pulling three more times while telling her how beautiful her lips looked around his cock.

"That's enough" he told her firmly, pulling his erection from her mouth, knowing the real reason he stopped was because he knew he was about to cum and he couldn't take anymore. Emily also knew it. She had come to know all of his moans, groans and that deep growl that he made when he was close.

Emily felt his fingertips at the sides of the mask. As he lifted the mask, her eyes adjusted and Emily was stunned, to say the least, at Hotch's appearance. He was very pale, as far as she could tell in the fairly well lit room. He was sweating badly and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Hi there" he said as he gazed intensely into her eyes, giving Emily the strangest feeling she'd ever had in her gut. He was doing nothing short of scaring her. "I have one more surprise for you baby."

"Aaron..." she began when he abruptly interrupted her and grabbed her face in his hand roughly.

"Do not call me that! Do you want me to start all over Emily?" he asked meticulously.

"No...Sir. Please...just..." Hotch spoke over her words.

"That's what I thought. I'll let you know when I'm done. Now be quiet." he replied harshly as Emily watched him move between her legs, pushing them apart surprisingly further and laying his cock at her center. He rubbed the head of his cock over her clit and she knew this was going to be the worst part. The hardest part. The part she knew she would never be able to erase from her mind.

"Aaron...don't!" she begged as he placed both of his hands on her hips. He gripped them so tightly, then pressed them down to the matress roughly. "You _will_ pay for that." he said, referring to her calling him by name, as he promised her with his eyes. "This gonna feel real nice, I promise." he told her as his hips moved forward, pushing his swollen cock into her to the hilt.

Emily gasp when her wrists pressed against the metal cuffs as Hotch pushed her body upward in the bed. She laid there as he fucked her mercilessly, letting her eyes scan their bedroom for anything to take her mind away from this just for a moment. A small picture frame caught her eye. It was a picture taken at Disneyland of Hotch, Emily and Jack. Goofy had insisted he take a picture of the trio in front of the statue of Walt Disney. Jack looked so happy. They all did. Emily felt the sting from her tears as they trickled over the broken skin on her cheek that Hotch had caused earlier. The picture became blurry as Hotch pounded into her repeatedly and relentlessly, causing her vision to be jarred.

"Emily, I want you to know that I know you lied to me. You told me you had a headache after the Dillion case when you performed the solo take down." he told her as she took one thrust after the other. "You lied to me didn't you?" he tested.

"No Sir...you're wrong!" she replied loudly, her voice quivering during his vigorous strokes. She thought for sure that he didn't know the truth and that he was just speculating.

He struck Emily's left cheek with force, bringing a loud cry from her lips. "There is no merit to what you're saying Emily because you are lying to me right now!" he yelled, watching the guilt appear on her face. "You see, I came back to get my keys and found you dancing around the bedroom with your fucking iPod." he informed her while gripping her hips unbelievably tight and entering her with a force like he never had. "Do you always find it easy to lie to me Emily?" His facial expression became frightening and she knew it was in her best interest to own up to what she had done.

"No Sir, I don't. It was the only time I've lied." she told him, hoping he would hear the honesty in her voice.

Hotch pulled his cock out of her, hearing her moan at the emptiness. "And that was one time too many." he replied as he reached behind him jerking the buckles on the straps that assisted his indulgence, releasing her ankles. Soon his large hands were all over her, flipping her over onto her stomach. She realized that was why he didn't put the cuffs around the headboard rungs themselves; so he could turn her over with her hands remaining cuffed. He grabbed her hips and jerked her ass into the air until her knees were under her. He lined himself up to her core suddenly and entered her again, forcefully and completely.

"Ahh.." he groaned as he took on a whole new onslaught. With Emily's face in the pillow and her wonderful ass there for his eyes to gaze on, Hotch rocked in and out of her ever so slowly and took in the beautiful sight before him. As droplets of sweat fell onto her back, his heart throbbed so hard that his breathing was becoming restricted to a point. He held onto her ass cheeks and squeezed hard before his palm and her tender skin collided, giving Emily the thrill she was determined to deny as she clenched around him. No matter what, she still loved him, as awful as it made her feel right now. She didn't want to give him pleasure either. She just wanted this to be over with, so she moaned what seemed to be pleasurable moans but it was only to end this intimidating and degrading act.

"Tell me Emily...how much do you trust me?" he asked, prompting her mind to wonder what the hell was going on in his head now.

"With everything that I am Aaron...Sir. Please...I meant Sir." she corrected herself as he drew out each stroke.

Hotch let that one slide as he smiled. "It's alright Emily." he assured her as he reached to get the last item he wanted to experience with. "Be still baby. I assure you that after I do this, you'll be begging me to do it again."

Emily turned her head to look behind her as he lashed out at her immediately.

"Turn around!" he said forcefully, spanking her hard on her ass.

She responded quickly without getting a chance to see what he had in his hand. Hotch continued to move in and out of her heat as he buried his thumb in his mouth and covered it with his saliva and then rubbed her rear opening with his thumb until it was drenched.

He felt her pussy tighten even more around him and he knew he wasn't going to be able to hold back any longer. He picked up a small anal plug and pushed it into her slowly. Emily moaned and wiggled until the two inch, cone shaped toy was set fully inside of her. As his strokes became drawn out and slow, she prayed in silence that he wasn't going to prepare her for what she assumed. Aside from the fact that she knew she couldn't take him like this; she didn't want to and was shocked at the fact that he would want to. He had never as much as hinted that he would want to attempt something like this.

"Now... you're gonna cum for me Emily." he told her as he pull and pushed the toy. "Isnt that right?" he added.

"No..Sir...I can't" she told him breathless from his invasion. The pain was becoming unbearable for Emily and she began to beg. "Please Aaron...I can't...please stop!"

Hotch took his hand from the toy and let it remain inside of her as he reached up for a handful of her long hair, jerking her head back as he leaned over her back and spoke darkly in her ear.

"You. Will. Cum..." he challenged her, now pounding into her, determined that he was going to hold back until she did, but that plan was soon vanishing as his cock ached for its release. "...and I'll know if you fake it so don't fuck with me." he warned.

Many women say they succeed in fooling their lovers but Hotch knew. He knew Emily and he knew her body. He had memorized the sweet sounds she would make for him and after one 'I really just want to go to sleep' faked orgasm, Hotch let her know he wasn't going to be deceived like that again. Now, here he was demanding that she forget all of the abuse she'd just received and cum for him.

With her wrists still confined, Emily quickly gripped two of the rungs at the headboard when Hotch pushed her head back to the pillow roughly, giving her what he knew would be his last few strokes. She laid her face against the soft pillowcase and officially gave up. She relaxed her body as much as possible as his cock entered her repeatedly.

"Here you go baby...you're gonna love this" he said with a deep snicker as he laid his thumb on the device's small switch and slid it over. Emily felt the vibration from the plug and it was almost more than she could bear as he continued to fuck her.

She hated this and contemplated hating him for doing it, until her rational thoughts knew that this wasn't him. He needed help and she was going to do something about it as soon as she was no longer under his incarceration.

With all her might, she continued to relax and when she did, it brought a vision to Hotch of the way things used to be; the way he would make love to her sweetly and slowly for hours. But right now the only thing on his mind was her letting go for him, giving him complete control. Even with the vibration inside of her and his cock filling her full, Emily was reluctant to climb that hill that she had promised herself she wouldn't. Hotch knew he was going to succeed when she clenched involuntarily around him, finally becoming significantly wet.

"That's my girl" he told her with a chuckle, then reaching around her hip, laying his thick hot fingers on her clit. "You're almost there Em" he coaxed, rubbing her clit in harsh circles. "I love it when you're filled up like this" he teased as his fingers slid over her soaked pussy. "It makes me so fucking hard. Come on baby. You know you want to."

Emily didn't say anything. She just focused on a memory when Hotch had come home one afternoon and had given her a small kiss which turned into making love on the sofa. She concentrated on that moment when she straddled him, riding him slow and deep as he lavished her breasts with his tongue. She was glad Hotch didn't speak again, blurring her concentration of a moment that was beautiful to her. She knew this was the only way she'd be able to cum and she wanted nothing more right now than for this to end. She knew if she didn't give him what he wanted now, he wouldn't stop until she did. She captured the instance on that day when he looked in her eyes and rubbed her clit with his thumb until she came all over him. As she closed her eyes and saw nothing but his loving eyes before her, her body began to tremble.

"Oh fuck yeah..." he said loudly in the most sinister, yet triumphal tone.

Emily dwelled in the past as she felt him easily pull the toy from her. He dropped it to the bed and began spanking her ass hard, alternating the slaps to each cheek repeatedly causing her to shatter around him. As she came hard with a lingering moan, Emily remained lost in the nostalgia she had sheltered herself with for the last two hours.

As his heart pounded inside his chest, a deep, long growl was released as his body shook. During four more extreme thrust from him, she cried out with each one, involuntarily milking him completely. He leaned over her back again, brushing her hair gently from her ear.

"You. Are. Mine. Do _not_ forget that" he said firmly.

"Yes...Sir" she said simply through her continued cries.

Hotch moved away from her and allowed her to fall to the bed and he did the same, soaking the sheets with his sweat. She laid there on her stomach, then slowly turned to her right side, avoiding laying on the lesion on her left thigh and afraid to move. She laid there beside him crying; what she thought was silently, as the pillow soaked up her tears. It wasn't long before she heard the jingle of the small silver keys and then the touch of his fingers as he released the cuffs from her and threw the keys on the nightstand. She brought her arms close to her chest and gently rubbed her sore wrists. Emily flinched when Hotch placed his hand on her shoulder and turned her over gently to face him. Her eyes roamed the room and finally made contact with his. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek as her body tensed. With no words, Hotch sat up on his side of the bed, placing his feet on the floor. He leaned over, picked up his boxers from the floor and lifted his body up from the bed just enough to slide them over his hips. He sat there momentarily, gathering his strength, before he stood up and staggered around their bed, bumping his shin against the footboard on the way to the bathroom. The impact should have hurt but Hotch didn't feel a thing as he entered the bathroom, shut the door behind him and slumped to the floor.

Emily was relieved when he left the room and it made her sick to her stomach that there was one second of the day when she felt scared of him. She pushed herself up quietly from the bed and stood carefully as her legs weakened under her. Needing to cover her body, Emily pulled the first clothing she could find from her dresser drawer. She put on sleep pants and a t-shirt, not bothering with undergarments. The cotton pants rubbed against her thigh causing some discomfort as she walked as quickly as she could to the half bath down the hall. Reaching the toilet just in time, Emily emptied the contents of her stomach. She was in shock. She retched once again before splashing her face with cold water, avoiding her sore cheek. She dried her face gently with the hand towel as she looked at her reflection, seeing similarities of victims she had comforted many times. Her cheek was bruised and there was a small tear that she assumed Hotch's knuckle had made when he backhanded her. She held back the tears that she wanted to cry; maybe even cry for him. She knew what he had done happened not only because of alcohol. Hotch had been drunk a few times and initiate the two of them to have sex, but nothing like this. He had never laid a hand on her abusivly. She calmed herself as well as possible and went into the bedroom she had shared with Hotch for months. She walked slowly toward the bathroom door and noticed the lack of noise coming from the other side of the door.

"Aaron?" she asked softly, as she laid her hand against the door.

"What?" he said coldly as he sat on the cold floor in his boxer briefs.

"Are you alright?" she replied with her hand now on the doorknob.

"I need to be alone Emily" came almost hauntingly from him.

"Aaron please. We need to talk." Emily said, trying her best to speak kindly to him.

"I said no! Don't you understand? I don't want to fucking talk!" he yelled and then remained silent.

Emily thought it was best that she didn't push him any further. She was scared of him, to an extent, and that fact prompted her to go in the living room and make a phone call which she knew would later infuriate him.


	4. Chapter 4

"Rossi", came the voice from the other end of the phone line. He really hoped they weren't being called in on a case.

"Hey...Dave...it's...it's Emily" she said, trying to control the tremble in her voice, but not succeeding.

"What is it Emily? Is everything okay?" he asked hurriedly.

"Umm...no. I don't think so" she said honestly.

"What's wrong? Is it Aaron, Jack?" he asked receiving nothing but a sharp inhale by Emily as she covered her mouth to try to silence her cry.

"Emily, talk sweetie or I can't help you. Are you hurt?" he asked, attempting to hear any clue as to what was wrong.

"I'm..I'm okay. It's not Jack. He's at a friend's house. It's Aaron." She finally released.

"What happened? Is he hurt?" he replied louder.

"He isn't...it's not...he isn't hurt...but I think something is wrong" she said wiping her tears again.

"Emily, I don't understand. Do you need me to come over?" he asked thoughtfully.

Emily knew she had to do this. She had to tell someone what was going on because she was afraid to be alone with Hotch while he was obviously still in this state of mind. She knew what had happened was completely unusual and wanted with all of her heart to believe that it was unpremeditated on Hotch's part.

"Yes...please and Rossi?" she called before he disconnected.

"Yes?" he asked curiously.

"What I tell you when you come over here and what you may see here needs to stay between us until we find out more okay, please?" she begged.

"Of course Emily. I'll be right there. Ten minutes." he assured her as he walk out of his house with his keys in hand.

"Alright..." she replied. As much as she hated the feeling, she was partially relieved that she wouldn't be alone with Hotch much longer. She laid her cellphone on the coffee table and walked back to the bedroom cautiously, noticing the light under the bathroom door still glowing. She threw the comforter over the stained sheets and quietly gathered all of the items that Hotch had used during the punishment. Her stomach turned sour again as she picked up each item, putting everything away before Rossi arrived. She took deep breaths to control the reoccurring nausea. As she made her way to the closet, placing everything in the box, she was positive she would discard later. As she moved closer to the bathroom door for the second time, she heard a thump. She grabbed the locked doorknob and knocked, becoming frustrated when Hotch didn't answer.

"Aaron" she said loudly but still, there was no reply. "Aaron!" she repeated before breaking into their own bathroom, assuming Hotch wasn't near the door as there was no shadow.

Emily's heart throbbed in her chest as the door flew open. Hotch was slumped down on the tile floor, pale and soaked from his sweat. She got to him as quick as she could in her condition and grabbed his face in her hands.

"Aaron!" she yelled as she ran her hands through his wet hair, panicking. His head wobbled back and forth as she checked for a pulse at his throat. He was breathing but his heartrate was through the roof.

As Emily hurried back to the living room, she saw Rossi coming in the door. She grabbed her phone off of the coffee table.

"Rossi...it's Aaron. He's unconscious. He's...he's in here." she told him as she rushed back to the master bath while Rossi followed. She was dialing 911 with shaky hands as Rossi began asking questions that she dreaded answering. He bent down to check out Hotch himself, giving Emily time to call the paramedics. As soon as she had an ambulance on the way, Rossi began.

"What happened Emily?" he asked, looking up at her, giving him a view of her face. He stood up, raising his hand to push her hair from her face as she flinched away from him. Startled by her actions, Rossi didn't hesitate. "What the hell happened here Emily?" he asked confused and concerned.

"My appearance is the part you have to keep to yourself" she pleaded.

"Emily..." he tried.

"No Dave. Listen. It wasn't him." she told him, confusing him further. "I mean it was him...he did do this to me. But it wasn't him. He has been acting weird all day and tonight...when we got home...things just got bad quick. He was cruel to me, not just his actions but his words." she informed him as she became impatient. "Where is the damn ambulance?" she yelled.

"They'll be here Em" he assured her, as he continued to try to wake Hotch. "Has he been drinking?" he asked Emily, smelling the booze on Hotch's breath.

"Yes but it's not that. He's been drunk before but he's never done..." she began as he saw the pain in her expression, realizing there was more to this story than met the eye.

Soon they heard the ambulance and Emily rushed to answer the door, while Rossi stayed with Hotch, who was slowly becoming alert as the paramedics, along with a gurney, reached the bathroom.

"What are you doing here Dave?" Hotch yelled with slurred speech as he flung his arms in front of him. "Leave me alone! I just wish everybody would leave me the hell alone!" he screamed as the paramedics entered the bathroom. He looked up at Emily, infuriated. "You called the fucking cops on me?!" he threw at her in a resentful tone.

"They're not cops, they're EMT's and they're going to help you." she told him sweetly.

"I don't need any godddamn help!" he said as he tried to get up from the cold floor. He was so exhausted and weak that he couldn't focus on anything. "You will regret this Emily" he warned her, adding intimidation with his expanded pupils.

One of the paramedics tried to calm Hotch down as he shined the medical light in his eyes, seeing the great amount of dilation.

"Get that fucking thing out of my face!" Hotch yelled, knocking the instrument out of the man's hand.

"What's his name?" the paramedic asked Rossi.

"Aaron, Aaron Hotchner" he replied, worried for his best friend.

"Aaron...Aaron" the paramedic said firmly. "My name is Chris. You need to calm down and let us help you." he began before Hotch pushed him back so harshly that he fell back to the floor.

"Don't tell me to calm down! I want you out of my house Chris!" Hotch screamed as he dove for the man again. "Get out!" he growled. Emily covered her face in shock, seeing a side of him that she'd never seen before. She blinked her eyes rapidly trying to prevent her emotions from surfacing.

"Get the gurney!" the paramedic told his partner as he fought to overpower Hotch enough to push himself up from the floor. "What is he on?" he asked Emily with a serious tone, as he worked with Rossi to control Hotch.

"Nothing! He's an FBI agent. He had a few drinks at the bar on the way home, that's all." Emily said with certainty.

It took Rossi and both paramedics to dominate and restrain Hotch as Emily looked on, breaking into tears. She watched as they strapped him down to the gurney and injected him with a sedative. His eyes rolled around, catching glimpses of Emily, then his eyelids flickered and his body finally relaxed. Emily stepped closer to the gurney, feeling less frightened, then reached for Hotch's limp hand. She looked down as she moved her hand lightly over his. She looked at his still pale face as the medics checked his vitals, gave him oxygen and prepared for the ride.

After attending to Hotch, Chris approached Emily. "Mam, it's obvious to me by Aaron's demeanor and your bruised eye, that he may have done this to you. Is that correct?" he asked carefully.

Rossi knew the situation was awkward for her so he intervened. "Actually we're both federal agents and we'll take care of it from here." he informed him.

"Sir, this woman needs medical attention" he suggested.

"No. I'm fine" Emily interrupted. "Really." she added, seeing Rossi's concern for her.

Rossi felt that it was her own decision and had a feeling that if he fought her on the matter, it could upset her worse than she already was. "I'll make sure she's taken care of." he replied with a reassuring tone.

"Yes Sir" the medic replied. "We better get going. Will one of you be riding or driving to the hospital?" he asked.

"Yes" Rossi replied. "I'll be there soon."

"Okay Sir" he said and then the two medics moved quickly to get Hotch to the ambulance.

Emily watched out of their bedroom window as the ambulance pulled away while Rossi stood in the now quiet room with her.

"Are you alright Emily? You really should see a doctor" he said as he stepped cautiously closer to her.

"Dave, really...I'm fine" she began as she turned away from the window to face him.

"Look...Emily, I don't know what happened and I will accept that its none of my business if there's a medical reason that he did this to you, but if there's not, I will personally kick his ass. Don't think this old man doesn't have a few tricks up his sleeve." he teased lightly, trying to help ease some of the tension for her.

With a small grin, Emily began to tell Rossi at least some bit of information before he left for the hospital, planning to leave out some of the details. "He came home drunk and we had a fight. He was yelling and screaming at me and when I tried to take up for myself...he hit me. Something is wrong Dave. I'm sure you saw how disoriented he was." she said positively.

"Most definitely and I'll know more when I get to the hospital" he told her, noticing her bruised wrists. He walked to her and took her hand, stretching it out for him to see before she could pull away. "What the hell..." he started.

"I'm alright Rossi" she told him once again as his eyebrows furrowed.

"Emily...was this rape?" he asked carefully, hoping his assumption was absurd.

With her head lowered, she stalled her reply, then whispered. "Yes."

"Oh my god Emily. What was he...look...alright, you're going with me to the hospital." he demanded. "Aaron would want you to."

"Dave...right now, I'm not too worried about what Aaron would want me to do. I don't need to go. There is nothing they can do and, of course, I'm not pressing charges. Please, just go check on him and I'll be there later okay?" she begged.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? For you to be with him right now?" he said after seeing the Hotch's outburst earlier.

"I don't know Dave. He needs me doesn't he? I mean isn't that what all this is about? Love? To be there for each other no matter what? He didn't mean to do this Dave!" she said as the tears began to flow. "I have to believe that." she cried as Rossi hugged her gently, letting her release whatever she needed to.

"Alright...I'll tell you what...you take some time, soak in the tub, have a drink and then call me. I'll let you know what's going on and then you can decide what's best for you." he suggested as he broke the embrace and gave her a sympathetic smile. "Okay?"

"Okay" Emily replied and then took in a deep breath and released it. "Thank you Dave. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come over here."

"Anytime kid" he said, tapping her chin lightly with his finger before walking out the door.

Emily went into the bedroom, gathered some clean clothes and headed for the garden tub for a long bath. The water stung various places on her skin but it felt great otherwise and she just wanted to purify herself in anyway she could. After spending thirty minutes of crying, bathing and washing her hair, she poured herself a glass of bourbon and after a couple of swallows, she silently thanked Dave for the suggestion. She stripped the bed and threw the bedding into the washing machine, which took every bit of will power she had.

Rossi entered St. Sebastian hospital and after hounding the nurses at the front desk for nearly an hour, he was finally informed by the doctor exactly what was going on with Hotch.

"Hi, I'm doctor Jackson. I've been attending to Agent Hotchner. We've ran an RIA test and..." he began as Rossi gave him a curious look. "It's a test used to screen serum, urine and stomach contents for LSD and it's metabolites." he added.

"LSD?" Rossi replied, shocked. "There has to be a mistake..."

"Theres no mistake. Mr. Hotchner showed accurate symptoms for use of this drug and his test are conclusive." he said positively. "Have you ever known Mr. Hotchner to use drugs?" he asked.

"Absolutely not. He's a federal agent." Rossi defended his friend.

"Agent Rossi, I can't tell you how many members of law..." he tried as Rossi stepped closer to him.

"I don't care who or what you've seen in here, this man wouldn't do drugs." he informed him harshly.

The doctor took in his look of certainty. "Well then it had to be given to him by way of injection or orally and no needle punctures were found." he explained.

Rossi stood there for a moment as Emily's words to the paramedics came back to him. 'The bar!' he said to himself. He remembered how Emily had said he stopped by the bar on the way home.

"Alright, I'll take care of it. How is he now?" he finally asked.

"Healthwise, he's alright. As I'm sure you know, this drug does more harm psychologically than physically. He's still under the influence of the drug. The test showed that he had approximately 30 micrograms. That's not a tremendous amount but its enough to cause this kind of delirium." he said, troubling Rossi further.

"Delirium?" he questioned immediately.

"Yes Sir. Mr. Hotchner's actions became more threatening to himself and to others after he arrived." he told him, seeing the surprised reaction from Rossi before continuing. "The sedative he received by the attending EMT's didn't suppress his mood for long. We've given him Thorazine and..."

"An antipsychotic?" Rossi confirmed.

"Yes Sir. We've had to move him to our psychiatric ward here in the hospital...just for the time being. The effects from the drug should wear off with the next few hours." he assured him.

"Could I speak to him?" Rossi asked, having a feeling his attempt was useless.

"Not at the this time...not until the effects have worn off. He needs to be away from any sounds, scenery and people that could possibly cease his hallucinations and paranoia." he told him.

"Just give me a few minutes with him." he begged.

"I can't allow it. This man has already hurt two of my employees and I can't take the risk that he'll hurt someone else." he said firmly as he looked over Rossi's shoulder at Emily as she approached them, her make up concealing her bruises as much as it could.

Rossi turned to face Emily as she began to make it clear to him that she had heard the last words the doctor had spoken.

"I wanna see him" Emily said, her voice shaking and tears rimming her eyes.

Rossi turned to the doctor as his hand laid on Emily's shoulder. "Doctor, thank you for your time. Will you continue to be his doctor during his stay?"

"I've actually turned him over to Dr. Moody from the psychiatric ward but I will be checking on him from time to time." he promised.

"Thank you" Rossi told the physician. Emily waited for the doctor to step away before she began her questions.

"What did they say? And give it to me in English." she said.

"Alright, sit down" he replied as he took her by the wrist and led her to one of the nearby chairs, feeling her flinch again. "I'm sorry"

"It's alright Dave" she consoled him. "Tell me."

"Aaron was drugged. LSD." he said reassuring her feelings of fear that Hotch had done this to her of his own free will. "It was a low but significant enough dose to cause the effects that you are aware of and significant enough to cause him to hurt you like he did." he told her watching her eyes divert from his and down to the floor. "He didn't mean to do this to you Em. We know he didn't take this drug on his own."

"I know...but he's alright? I mean he's going to be okay?" she pleaded.

"He will. They have to keep him in the physc ward until the drug wears off." he informed her prompting her to push herself out of the chair.

"Physc ward? Oh Rossi...they can't..." she cried.

"Emily, he's not stable. He's lashing out and being physical with the hospital employees. We can't see him right now." he said, seeing that his words were breaking her heart. He told her everything the doctor had told him as Emily sat there letting the tears flow.

"I'm going to the ward Rossi and don't try to stop me." she said as she took a tissue from her pocket and patted the tears away.

Seeing her insistence, Rossi complied. "Alright, we'll go but don't get your hopes up on seeing him. They've been pretty clear about the rules."

Emily began walking down the hall, following the signs above their heads that would lead them in the right direction. When they reached the ward, Emily fought the doctors and nurses on the fact that she could get through to Hotch. It was a losing battle that eventually ended with one of the nurses taking the both of the agents to a small room set up with monitors that were recording different patient's actions.

Emily's breath was taken from her completely as she stood on shaky legs, viewing the monitor that produced an image that she wasn't sure she'd ever get out of her head. Hotch was in a padded cell, dressed in hospital attire, pasting the floor, screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs. He was yelling something that she couldn't quite understand but his affirmation accused Emily of taking his daughter from him. The tears streamed down Emily's face and her body shook uncontrollably.

"Come on Emily, let's go. We'll check on him later." he promised.

"Mm..Kay" she replied, walking out of the room looking back at the man she loved as he screamed her name over and over.

"Emily!" Hotch screamed in the most unnerving tone. "Where is she? Where is that bitch?!" he continued as Rossi pushed her gently to the door. "Emily!" he shouted again, then releasing a disturbing sound of anger, chilling her and Rossi both to the bone. "I will get that bitch and she will pay for this!" he screamed. "Where is she? Where is my daughter?"

As they stepped into the hallway, Emily tried to catch her breath, near hyperventilation. Rossi placed his arms gently on her shoulders, looking in her eyes, cringing at her bruised cheek.

"It's not him Emily. You know that. We have to just give this some time. He'll be alright" he said reassuringly.

"But will he be the same? You know users of LSD have had reoccurring episodes years later." she reminded him as he knew the words she spoke were true.

"It's rare but yes, it can happen and that's a bridge we'll have to cross when and if we come to it...okay?" he said, hoping to give her some kind of comfort.

"Okay...yeah..I know. I'm sorry..." she apologized, wiping her tears.

"Emily Prentiss, Don't you dare apologize." he said. "We just need to find out who did this and concentrate on getting him better. You won't be alone. I''ll handle everything with the team and you just take care of you, Aaron and Jack." he added kindly. "It's very late and you need to get some rest. I'll talk to them at the desk and make sure we get notifications of any change."

"Okay...thank you." she replied, calming more and more as the man she had always thought of as a father alleviated some of her fear.

"Do you want to stay at my place tonight?" he suggested. "Or would you rather be alone?" he wondered, giving her the choice to make on her own.

"I'll go home but thank you for the offer." she said with a small smile.

"Anytime...and I mean anytime. I don't care if it's the middle of the night Emily, you call me." he insisted.

"I will. Make sure they have our numbers." she reminded him.

"I will, don't worry." he told her, then watched her walk to the elevators as he headed to the nurses desk to give them his and Emily's information.

"Emily drove home in a daze. She knew someone had done this to Hotch and the fact that they could have very well ruined her relationship with him, infuriated her beyond belief. She turned the key in the front door and stepped inside slowly, feeling the uncomfortable silence. She was exhausted. She didn't want to sleep in the guest room and their bedroom was out of the question. She changed her clothes, taking a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from the clothes dryer, avoiding their bedroom for the night, and moved their bedding to the dryer. After using all the physical strength she had to finish the necessary housework, she poured herself another drink and curled up on the couch with the blanket that laid on the back of the couch. She looked at her wrists and thighs, scanning over the marks Hotch had inflicted on her. She began crying uncontrollably once again and after sitting her drink on the coffee table, she eventually cried herself to sleep.

An hour and a half later, visions of her and Hotch appeared. There was no sound, just silence with inaudible screaming from Hotch. He was screaming helplessly as a completely conscious pregnant Emily was in the possession of an unsub. All she could focus on in the dream was an evil hand performing a cesarean on her while Hotch was constricted in a straight jacket, forced to watch the agonizing act. After pulling the baby from the womb, the unsub threw his hands up, releasing the baby girl, throwing her to Hotch, who in no way possible could catch the child. Right before the infant came in contact with the floor, Emily awoke in a panicked scream, sweating and crying. She ran to the bathroom down the hall, once again spilling the contents of her stomach. She cleaned up, shaking tremendously, then picked up her cellphone. Her fingers accomplished dialing Rossi's number and soon a sleepy, but concerned Rossi, answered.

"Emily?" he asked hurriedly. "You alright?"

"Can I stay with you after all?" she asked, almost embarrassed but simply telling Rossi that she couldn't be alone.

"I'll be there in a few minutes." he replied warmly, then ended the call.


	5. Chapter 5

Having her third cup of coffee of the morning, Emily sat at the bar in Rossi's huge kitchen. As she sat there, gaining her strength for the day ahead, her mind went back to a night the team had shared at that same bar while Rossi made one of his favorite dishes, teaching the team the fine art of Italian cooking.

Rossi had gotten up early that morning, brewed a pot of coffee, then left to pick up Jack from his sleepover and take him to Jessica's for the night. Emily knew she and Hotch were going to have to lie to the little boy because there was no way he could know his daddy had done such a horrible thing.

Emily finished her coffee and dressed to go to the hospital. No word had come during the night concerning Hotch but as Emily put on her boots, her cellphone rang.

"Hello" she answered.

"Hi, Is this Emily Prentiss?" the voice replied.

"Yes, yes it is. Who is this?" she asked curiously.

"This is Dr. Moody from the physc ward at St. Sebastian hospital." he replied.

"Is everything okay with Aaron?" she rushed her words.

"Yes, that's why I'm calling. Mr. Hotchner is doing much better. The effects from the drug have worn off and he should be able to leave here in the next couple of hours or so. I do need to speak with you in depth before he goes home. There are just some things that you need to know. Also he will need a change of clothes from home. Will you be with Aaron at his home?" he asked.

"Yes I will." she replied.

"Okay, and are there any children in the home?" he continued.

"Yes, he has a son who is eight years old." she told him.

"Okay well it may be in the child's best interest for him to stay somewhere else if possible for the next few days." he informed her.

"Why?" she asked, confused and worried. "I thought Aaron had improved."

"He has...but for the next few days and maybe up to a week or more, Aaron will be fatigued and irritable, not to the extreme that he was, but he will be." he explained.

"Okay...I understand." she assured him.

"It would be good if you could make sure Aaron takes his medication. It may slip his mind." he said.

"What kind of medication?" she asked.

"Just a month's worth of Xanax should be sufficient. We'll keep a watch on him. It's just a high enough dose to prevent extreme irritability and anxiety and in the case that a flashback occurs from the LSD drugging." He said and then asked Emily to hold on. When he returned on the line, he sighed, then paused for a moment.

"Yes...hello?" she asked, curious if the call had been disconnected.

"Yes, I'm sorry. It was one of the orderly here at the ward. Aaron is asking for you repeatedly. He's very calm, they said he's just insistent on seeing you." he explained. "And he wants to get out of here."

"Okay...alright, I'll be there in about 20 minutes." she replied.

"Okay, I will need to see you before you take him home." he reminded her.

"Yes Sir, thank you for everything." she said.

"You're welcome. See you soon." he said, then hanging up the phone.

Emily knew that if she called Rossi before going to the hospital, he'd never let her go alone. She wanted to go alone. She wanted to talk to Hotch alone. She knew what the doctor said about how Hotch's demeanor may be at times, but she felt that she could handle it and his medication would help. She texted Rossi and asked how Jack was doing and made sure that he got settled in with Jessica. She wanted to call Jack tonight and at least talk to him for a minute. She needed to hear his sweet innocent voice, knowing it would help her have a positive attitude concerning the future of her relationship with his father. She needed strength and she knew she could find it through him. He meant the world to her and their bond had grown tremendously since she moved in with the Hotchner men. Jack only wanted Emily to read to him, or vice-versa, at bedtime. He told his dad that it was because Emily's voice was soft and because she could do the character voices better than him. Hotch agreed.

As Emily pulled into the hospital parking lot, she called Rossi and told him that Hotch had been released and informed him about his condition. She let him know that she was picking Hotch up now and that he didn't need to come. Rossi was very concerned about how things would be when they got home but Emily assured him that everything would be fine. She had the short meeting with Dr. Moody covering the use of Xanax that Hotch would be taking and the few Valium that he wanted them to have available if Hotch needed to take them. Dr. Moody didn't want her to give the Valium to Hotch unless it was absolutely necessary. He also explained to her that Hotch doesn't remember what happened during most of the LSD trip. He only remembers being at work, going to the bar, having a few drinks and then a fight with Emily. He admitted to the doctor that he didn't even remember how he had gotten home that night. The doctor informed Hotch that this was perfectly normally with the use of this drug and that peices of the night would probably come to him later when he was in familiar surroundings and was back at home with Emily and his son.

The ride home with Hotch went well as far as Emily was concerned but mainly because Hotch had slept during most of the ride. The doctor had told her about the sleepiness and fatigue that he would be experiencing so she just let him sleep. After Emily pulled into the parking lot of their apartment, she shook Hotch awake by gently shaking his forearm with her hand. Heavily dosed, he finally became more awakened and looked over at her. He saw her bruised cheek with the help from the sunlight coming through the windshield.

"Emily what happ..." he said, his words crumbling as visions of the fight came to his mind. "Did I do that to you?" he asked, praying for a negative answer.

"Aaron, let's just get you inside and we'll talk and..." she began before Hotch asked her again, this time with sincerity in his voice.

"Em, did I hurt you? Tell me." he begged.

"Yes...Aaron, we had a fight and you hit me. Are you telling me that you don't remember?" she asked kindly.

"I remember fighting with you but no, I don't remember hitting you." he said truthfully. Emily said nothing, only lowering her head to stare at the steering wheel.

"I'm so sorry Emily." he said with a tone of remorse.

"I know...it's okay Aaron. You were drugged. I know it's unlikely but Rossi and Morgan are working on finding out who did this to you. I know you would have never hit me before this. We've seen what drugs can do to people Aaron." she said, assuring him that she knew it wasn't him that night; not the man she loved.

Frustrated, Hotch began abusing himself mentally for his actions the night before. "It's not okay Emily and I wish I could take it back."

"I know. Look, let's go inside. Are you tired?" she asked, taking her seat belt off and opening her door.

"A little yeah." he replied, exiting his side of the car, walking around the car to walk inside with her.

As they walked through the door to their home, Hotch was curious of Jack's whereabouts. When Emily explained what the doctor had said about the child not being in the home for a few days, Hotch insisted that Jack come back immediately.

"Can you go pick up Jack from Jessica's house please?" he asked in an edgy tone.

"Aaron...the doctor said..." she began.

"I don't care what the doctor said! I want to see my son. I'll go get him if you won't." he warned her. "Do you think I'd really hurt Jack?" he asked her with curiosity in his eyes.

Emily looked at him, frightened that her words may come out in a way that could upset him. "No, but I never thought you'd hurt me either." she said, walking away and into the kitchen to get Hotch a glass of water for his medicine, or maybe it was to bridge the distance between them. If she had to be honest, she was a little nervous around him. "You can't drive right now Aaron and I can't leave you alone."

Following her into the kitchen and sitting at the bar, Hotch assured her. "I'll be fine here for a little while" he told her with a grin.

"I can't Aaron. I'm trying to help you here and do what is best for everyone. I'll ask Jessica to bring Jack over and we'll see how it goes but I'm not leaving you here alone." she informed him, sliding a glass of water to him, then removing one of his prescription bottles from a small white bag and handing it to him. She dreaded the moment Hotch found the marks and bruises on her body because at this point, he didn't remember much of what happened the night before.

"Thanks," he said, "I'll take one in second. "Emily, I don't know what exactly happened last night but the therapist said I had hurt you and now that I see that I have, it makes me sick. I'm sorry. I wanna find the son of a bitch that did this to me." he said angrily.

"You mean...us. He did this to us." she told him.

"I know Em. I never should have gone to the bar. I should have just come home." he said, noticing Emily's look of agreement. "I know we fought about the punishment. I didn't go into that detail with the therapist but I do remember that much. Will you try to remind me how the conversation went and what we decided?" he asked, not remembering the most traumatic part for Emily.

"I...I will, but not now okay? You need rest and I need to call Jessica." she said.

Extremely curious as to what happened, Hotch unwillingly agreed. "Alright. I'm going to lay down until Jack gets home."

"That's probably a good idea. I changed the sheets." she said, quickly adding "They needed it." when she realized that Hotch didn't know about the blood and she couldn't deal with that conversation right now. Rossi and Emily had made a deal that she would be the one to tell Hotch what happened, if his memory didn't beat her to it.

"Okay thank you. I could really use some company" he said, wiggling his eyesbrows slightly, then getting the hint that she wasn't comfortable."

"I'm sorry. I can't do that right now." she said, seeing his disappointment.

"It's alright. I understand." he said kindly. "I'm gonna lay down. Please wake me when Jack gets here." he said, taking his glass of water and pill bottle along with him.

"Okay" she replied, surprised that he didn't take the conversation further. "Get some rest." she added as he made his way to their bedroom, drinking the glass of water but never taking the pill. He hated the way the medicine made him feel physically and all he wanted to do was see Jack. He was already so groggy, hence the nap, and he wanted to be alert for Jack.

Emily kept herself busy after calling Jessica, trying not to dwell on the previous night's events. She fixed a pan of lasagna for dinner and let it cook while she did the laundry and some dishes. Jack was in the middle of a game of mini golf with Jessica when Emily called, so Jessica agreed to have Jack there in a couple of hours. That would give Hotch time to rest and Emily time to prepare for their talk later. If Hotch was that upset over hitting her, how would he react to what else he had done to her? She had decided they wouldn't even begin the conversation until Jack was in bed. She knew Hotch would see the effects of what he had done when Emily got dressed for bed, so there was no hiding it. Emily never slept in more than shorts and a tank top, and any change in that ritual would seem odd.

Rossi called Emily's cell for an update on Hotch and to see how Emily was coping. Emily assured him things were good and that Hotch was resting. Rossi informed her that he and Morgan had spent over an hour and the bar Hotch had gone to and after talking to the bartender and a few customers, absolutely nothing came of their attempt to find out any strange activity that night. Rossi couldn't hang up without letting her know that he was there for her in any way she needed him and that with taking on day at a time, things would improve.

Right on time, Jack trampled through the door, thrilled to be home and thrilled to see Emily.

"Hey Emily! Guess what?" he requested as his eyes lit up, bringing in that innocence that Emily needed to be in the presence of right now. "Wait...what happened to your eye?"

"Just a bang up. I'll be fine. Tell me your news!" she said, smiling at Jessica.

"Guess!" he reminded her.

"Umm...I don't know? Did you beat Jessica in mini golf?" she asked, smiling down at him.

"No...but I did get two holes in one!" he said proudly and loudly.

"That's great Jack. You'll be a pro in no time." she encouraged him. "Jack, why don't you run and finish up that new book you got. You only have a few pages left" she reminded him.

"But I wanna see Dad." he argued. "Jessica told me he was at home too."

"I know...and you can soon. He's resting right now." she told him, hoping to have a few moments to talk to Jessica.

"Okay" he said, not knowing anything that had taken place in the last twenty-four hours. He went to his room and began reading while Emily explained everything to Jessica while the two of them sat on the couch.

"Dave explained to me what happened. So there's no way to find out who did this?" Jessica asked.

"Not really. Too many people came in and out of the bar and it's already been nearly a day since he was drugged." she said, frustrated about the situation herself.

"Well, is there anything I can do?" she asked thoughtfully.

"I don't think so but Jessica, you've been a great help already." she said with a smile. "And you don't know how much that means to us."

"Anytime Emily." she said, pushing herself up from the couch.

"Jessica?" Emily called before Jessica turned for the door.

"You've known Hotch a long time. I hate to asked this but have you ever known him to lay a hand on anyone?" she asked tentatively.

"Absolutely not. It's just the drug Emily. Haley never gave even as much as a hint that he'd ever abused her, and besides she would have told me. She always said he had quite the temper but that's as far as it ever went." she said positively.

"Yeah...I know...it's crazy of me to think this but I guess I just needed some reassurance you know?" she said with tears forming in her eyes.

"It's okay Emily. You have every right to be cautious about this. Listen, if you ever wanna talk, just call me." she suggested kindly.

"I will" she agreed, realizing how much her and Jessica's relationship had improved over the last few months.

"Okay, you take care. I'm a phone call away for whatever you guys need." she said as she made her way to the door and left, Emily closing and locking up behind her.

Emily walked slowly down the hall, feeling her sore muscles with every step. She peeked in at Jack who was now playing his gaming system very quietly. Hotch was a great father and he knew that Emily would be a great mother and enjoyed watching her with Jack everyday. Jack listened to Emily and respected her every much as a eight year old was capable of. He didn't push the limits with his Dad too often but there was just something about Emily's way of getting through to him in a way that his father couldn't. He loved their bond and he was just happy that Jack was able to connect with her the way that he had. He wanted Jack's wounds from the loss of his mother to heal too and Emily could help him do that, not better than him, just in a different way.

"Jack? You wanna quietly wake up your dad? I know he wants to see you" she said.

"Yeah!" he agreed somewhat loudly until Emily held her index finger over her lips. "Shhh" she reminded him.

Jack gave her a quick 'sorry' and walked into the master bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed and began to quietly wake Hotch.

"Dad..." he said in a whisper, receiving no reply from Hotch as Emily looked on. "Dad!" he repeated, touching Hotch on the arm, shaking it gently. "Dad!" he repeated a little louder. "Wake up."

"What?!" Hotch answered abruptly as he sat straight up in the bed, jerking awake suddenly, then seeing his son with a small frightened look.

"I'm sorry buddy. I had a bad dream. How are you? Did you have a good time with Jessica?" he asked with a smile, covering himself with the bedsheet. He had stripped down to his boxer briefs before getting into bed and Emily's mind flashed back to the night before as she looked at his body. She wanted these feelings of fear and anxiety to go away.

"Yeah I did!" he said, repeating the same wonderful news to his father about his golfing skills.

"That's great buddy. How about you let me get dressed? Maybe we can watch the rest of that Titanic documentary a little later." he said.

"Okay but Dad?" he asked in a curious tone. "Why aren't you working today? I know Emily doesn't feel good because she's got a big bruise on her face but why are you not working?" he asked, demanding an answer.

Looking up at Emily's helpless expression, Hotch knew he had no choice but to hide the truth. "I'm just not feeling well either Jack. I think we both just need some rest and some of Em's good cooking." he added, with a wink to Emily.

Emily smiled and helped Hotch change the subject. "I made lasagna" she said, watching Jack smile from ear to ear.

"Yummy! Lets go eat Dad!" he yelled.

"It isn't quite ready yet Jack. You and your dad can watch the documentary until it's ready okay?" she suggested, eyeing Hotch, hoping that was okay with him.

"Jack, just let me get dressed and I'll be out in a minute okay? he said, looking up at Emily with a smile.

"Okay" Jack replied hurrying out of the room.

When Jack left the room, Emily began to follow when Hotch called out to her.

"Hey Em?" he said with a sleepy voice.

"Yeah?" she replied, turning back to see him still sitting up in the bed.

"I love you" he said, watching her eyes move from his to the wall. "Do you doubt that now?" he asked in an extremely worried tone.

"No. Absolutely not. I love you too Aaron" she said, still standing in the doorway.

"Shut the door and come here." he told her, patting the bed.

Emily shut the bedroom door and moved to sit beside him. She hated being in this room alone with Hotch right now and she knew he'd expect nothing other than for her to sleep next to him tonight, not knowing the whole story. She had to either tell him or lay with him. It was a hard decision actually. She loved this man and she was positive that he didn't mean to do this to her but at the same time, she didn't know what his touch may do to her mentally and emotionally.

"Are you alright?" he asked sincerely.

"Yeah...I'm good." she assured him, as he rubbed her back lightly feeling her flinch but not removing his hand.

"Emily...you're trembling" he whispered.

"I know. I'm okay really." she told him, laying her hand on his when she heard the oven timer alarm. "We'll talk later. I promise. Lets eat." she said, standing up from the bed, feeling his hand tight around hers.

"Emily" he said as he stood in his underwear. "I wanna get past this. I don't like this distance between us." he admitted.

"I don't either Aaron but I need time to deal with this...and..." she began.

"And what?" he asked, curious as to what she had on her mind.

"Aaron, this isn't the time for this. I keep telling you that we'll talk later and you keep pushing it. I can't talk to you about it until Jack is asleep." she told him. "Please let me go. Dinner is going to burn."

"Okay" he gave in, letting go of her hand. "I'll be out soon."

"Okay" she replied, rushing out the bedroom door and straight to the oven.

The family of three devoured Emily's lasagna, excluding Hotch. He wasn't really hungry but did eat enough, according to Emily. After Jack had eaten, he asked to go to his room for a while and Hotch approved, hoping he could have just another moment more alone with Emily. He hated the space between them. He understood why, he just hated it. He stood up from his chair and took his plate to the sink, turning around to watch Emily cleaning up the other dishes. He thought she was beautiful and it broke his heart that he had hurt her. He had done something that he could never take back. When Emily had partially cleaned the kitchen, planning to finish later, she reluctantly made her way to their bedroom. "I'll be right back." she said and returned a minute later with one of the Xanax and laid it on the bar with his remaining tea he'd had at dinner.

"Here's your meds" she said, then walked into the living room.

"I think I'll skip one. I don't like how they make me feel." he informed her as he turned to face her.

"Aaron...you need to take them. Doctor's orders, not mine. It's for the best." she added, wishing she hadn't.

He walked into the living room to stand near her. "Best for who? I'm not going to be pumped full of drugs that make me feel like shit. I'm fine."

"I can't make you take the medicine Aaron. I was only trying to help." she said kindly.

"Well, I don't need your help. I don't need you're goddamn mothering. I can take care of myself." he lashed out fairly loudly.

"Aaron please keep your voice down." she pleaded, shocked at his hurtful words.

Hotch moved closer, looking down at her. "Since when did you become so demanding?" he asked with a low giggle.

"I'm not trying to be demanding. I'm trying to keep your son from hearing things that he shouldn't." she said honestly, causing him to take that remark to mean that he didn't have his son's best interest in mind.

"Well, I don't need you to tell me how to raise my son either Em. I know I'm not exactly going to win the 'Father of the Year' award this year but I do love him." he said as his face became covered with that anger that Emily had seen last night.

"I know you do Aaron. I was just concerned about him. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it." she said wholeheartedly, turning away from him, her body language telling him she was agitated.

"Don't turn away from me when I'm talking to you!" he yelled somewhat loudly, promoting her to turn around quickly and use a forceful whisper.

"Aaron, please. All of this started just because your acting like a child that's refusing to take his medicine." she said firmly.

Emily and Hotch both stood there fuming, and when Hotch saw that small raise of her eyebrow, challenging him, he felt nothing short of degraded.

Just as Jack eased slowly into the living area, unbeknownst to the two adults, Emily felt the sting of Hotch's hand across her unharmed cheek.

"Dad! Stop!" Jack yelled to his father as he ran to Emily's side and wrapped his arms around her waist. "That's bullying Dad." the little boy added as his father looked down on him.


	6. Chapter 6

Hotch looked down at his son and saw how much his actions had not only hurt him, but had shown him that his father was just as mean as the kids at school. He laid his hand on top of his head gently.

"Jack, I want you to go to your room" he told him kindly, running his hands over his son's blond hair. "I need to talk to Emily." he said, finally looking at her after striking her once again, clearly showing her that Jack's unleashing on his father had effected Hotch greatly.

Jack held on tight to Emily's waist. "Please don't hurt Emily again Dad." he begged.

"Jack, now." Hotch said firmly. "I won't hurt Emily again."

Jack looked at Emily, it seemed for her approval, and Emily took in the fact that Hotch's demeanor had changed, at least for the moment.

"Go ahead Jack. It's okay." she told him, reassuring herself as well. Jack went to his room as Emily rubbed her hand over her cheek to relieve the pain.

"Emily..." Hotch began as he stepped close to her, raising his hand to brush her hair away from her face.

"Don't." she said backing away from him. "Don't touch me." she told him as she turned and walk quickly to the bedroom she had recently began to loathe.

Hotch stood there in the silent room alone. Then the sound he then heard made his chest tighten and his pulse race. Emily was crying. He could hear her all the way from the living room. As he stood there soaking in stupidity, he heard small footsteps, growing louder as they reached the living room.

"Emily's crying Dad." he said with a small quiver.

Hotch walked over to his son and squatted down in front of him. "I know...and I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong." he admitted. "I'm going to take care of her okay? I won't hurt her anymore. Don't worry. Okay?" he asked, looking in his innocent eyes, meaning every word.

"Okay, you promise?" Jack asked.

"I promise" he assured him with a smile. "You go play and give me a few minutes with Emily."

"Okay" he said, hugging his Dad, then running down the hall to his room.

Hotch took in a deep breath and walked down the hall. He didn't realize the bedroom door was closed when he had heard her crying and that fact told him that he had really fucked up this time. He stood outside the door for a moment and then knocked lightly.

"Aaron, I need a minute." she said as he heard her shaky voice coming from the other side.

"Em please. Let me in or I'll break the door down." he told her in his best 'unit chief' tone. "I know you don't trust my words right now, but I need to say them." he begged.

"Alright" she said and seconds later he saw the doorknob turning.

She opened the door enough for him to come in and walked away from the door, separating the closeness between them. Hotch walked in and sat on the edge of their bed and looked up at her standing by the dresser, crying. It was the first time he really got a look at her since she'd opened the door. Her eyes were soaked and swollen.

"I won't hurt you. C'mere." he said, laying his hand on the comforter.

Emily hesitated but moved slowly toward the bed and sat down. Hotch raised his eyes slowly to hers.

"I'll take the medicine." he told her as he stretched his hand out to land on hers. Just before his hand reached hers, she pulled away. "Emily...I don't know what to say besides I'm sorry and I will do anything that I need to do to prevent myself from hurting you again." he said honestly as he moved to his knees on the floor in front of her, looking up at her face that was soaked with tears. "But I don't want you to be scared of me. That eats me up inside." he admitted as his own tears streamed down his face.

Emily let Hotch succeed in his attempt to lay his hands on her knees. As she looked down at the hand that had struck her more than once and had confined her as he raped and abused her, she took in a shaky breath and decided that now was the time to tell him everything.

"Aaron, I'm scared of you with good reason. The night we had the fight...you did other things to scare me and...hurt me. Things you have no idea about because you don't remember and that's hard for me because I have to deal with what happened even if you don't remember." she explained as the tears rolled down his face and as he raised himself to stand in front of her.

"What happened Em? What did I do?" he asked, wiping his tears.

Emily stood up, walked to the door and locked it and then removed her clothes, standing in her bra and panties, feeling quite vulnerable.

Hotch stood there in shock as Emily turned her body for him to see the bruises and red stripes on her body. He began to shake and when he saw her thigh where the skin had obviously been broken, every ounce of his shame surfaced.

"Oh my god" he said with a tremble in his voice. He wanted to hold her but along with knowing that she wouldn't want him to, the sight of her battered body made him sick to his stomach prompting him to run to the bathroom where he threw up until there was nothing left in his stomach.

Emily grabbed her clothes and put them on quickly, hurrying into the bathroom.

"Aaron, are you okay? Do you need anything?" she asked, running her fingers through his hair.

"Please...just take care of Jack for a few minutes. I can't face him right now. I'll talk to him in a little while." he told her, rinsing his mouth and hands over the sink. "Please Em." he said as she stood there watching him in the mirror.

"Okay...okay. I'll 'restart his DVD and sit with him. I'll tell him you'll be out soon." she said, giving him a hand towel. "Aaron, we need to talk later okay?" she informed him as she crossed her arms.

"There's more?" he asked with fear in his eyes.

"Umm...yeah." she conveyed. "Please try not to make yourself sick. We'll get through this and we'll be alright." she told him, praying that she could trust his vow to take his medicine. "I'll see you in a few minutes. Your medicine is here on the counter." she said and then left the bathroom.

Hotch stood in the bathroom looking in the mirror at himself. He couldn't stand what he had done. He wasn't exactly sure how he had inflicted the marks on Emily, but it was just enough for him to assume that he had followed through with the punishment, clearly taking it too far. Looking at his reflection, he hated himself and just then his memory cursed him with one of the worst acts he could possibly carry out, especially on the woman that trusted him with her life. "Oh...god. Oh my god" he said aloud to his reflection, remembering Emily begging him to stop. How could he ever face her or his son again?

Emily walked to stand in the doorway of Jack's room where she saw him laying on his side on his wooden bed, his back facing the door. When she walked closer to his bed, she noticed there was a book under his leg. The title was "You Abuse, You Lose". It was a book that Hotch had bought Jack when his classmate, Paul, had bullied him. Jack told Hotch that Paul hadn't bullied him but the only thing Hotch saw was a little boy that wanted to see the best in everyone. Another wave of tears hit her as she came to stand beside his bed, watching as he stared at the 'Star Wars' characters that paraded the wall. Something had to be on Jack's mind for him to be awake and still for that long.

"Hey Jack" Emily said softly.

Jack turned over in his bed to face Emily. "Hey" he said in a sad voice.

Emily sat on the edge of the bed and laid her hand on his shoulder. "I don't want you to worry okay? Your Dad was just upset. He didn't mean to upset you or me." she said, getting the feeling that she wasn't getting across to him how much his Dad was sorry. She then realized it was probably best if Hotch talked him later. "Jack, have you ever done something and then you realized you shouldn't have?" she asked, giving it another try.

"Yes" he replied, giving her his full attention.

"Well, you're Dad was upset at me and after he hit me, he wished that he hadn't. He told me he was sorry and since we love each other and we are a family, I want to give him another chance." she said, hoping Hotch would explain things further and help Jack to somewhat understand the physical and mental part of the whole situation.

"I don't want him to hit you anymore." he expressed strongly. "Ms. McKee said if someone is being hurt, they should leave."

Emily sat there taking in the wisdom of a eight year old when she heard the beeping sounds from the small safe that Hotch kept his weapon in.

"Jack, stay here." Emily told him firmly.

"M'kay" he answered as he watched her run out of his bedroom door.

Just as Emily reached their bedroom door, it slammed in her face, forcing her to back away. She grabbed the doorknob, turning it harshly as she pounded on the door, screaming to her soul mate.

"Aaron!"


	7. Chapter 7

"Aaron open the door...please!" he heard her voice loudly pleading with him. Emily pounded on the door, suffering the blows to her fists, causing Jack to reach the hallway just as Emily kicked yet another door in.

"Aaron!" she screamed at the sight of Hotch sitting on the floor, propped up against their bed with his gun in his mouth. "Aaron, no!" she continued, reaching the bed.

Hotch jerked the gun from his mouth and stood up quickly, taking Emily by surprise as she was forced to look down the barrel of the gun she had seen him carry every day.

"Get out of here Emily!" he screamed, terrifying her with his cold eyes. She could see that Hotch was deranged as she stood still in front of him, faced with a 'take down' she'd never imagined she would have to perform.

"Aaron...baby listen..." she begged, not aware of the little boy standing a few feet behind her, peeking around what was left of the door frame. Thankfully with Emily blocking his view, Jack couldn't see that his father was holding a gun on her. "I know this is hard for you but we will get passed this! I'm here for you...I'm not going anywhere Aaron. Please...lets just talk about this." she said, tears steaming down her face.

Hotch stood still, staring at her with swollen eyes as his jaws clenched repeatedly. "But I...I know now...I know what I did to you...in this room...and it's unforgivable Em." he informed her through gritted teeth, continuing to hold the gun on her as tears ran down his face. "Get out!" he yelled as he began to lose control of his shaking hand that gripped the gun tightly.

"Aaron...it will all come together. Things take time Aaron, please!" she said with a tone that captured Hotch's attention for a split second until he let another wall build itself around him.

"Well I can't forgive myself for this Em. I can't." he said, as he repositioned his hand around the gun, Emily remaining in his line of fire, her brain overwhelmed with the choice of the right words to say to him.

"I forgive you Dad", a small voice came from behind Emily, causing her to turn around quickly and prompting Hotch to somewhat lower his gun and take in the wave of innocence before him.

"Jack!" Emily said turning his small frame around suddenly. "Jack go back to your room and stay there!" she told him as he fought her hold on him with a strength she didn't know he had.

"No!" he replied, crying to Emily. "I want to help Dad!" he screamed, flinging his body from her shaky grasp, then running toward his father who then panicked causing the gun to fire, striking his only son.

"Jack!" Emily cried, her voice shrieking in the room as Jack's body fell to the floor, blood pouring from his thigh as he screamed in excruciating pain; a sound Hotch nor Emily would ever forget.

Hotch stood there in shock, not moving from where he stood as he watched Emily move, in what he saw as slow motion, toward Jack. Kneeling on the floor beside Jack, Emily turned to see Hotch's horrified expression at what he'd done but jerked him from his daze when she screamed.

"Call 911!" she yelled, standing up, running to the bathroom for towels to put pressure on the bleeding wound, when they were both startled by sudden banging on the apartment door. Between Emily's direct order to him and the commotion at the door, Hotch broke from his asphyxia, grabbed his cellphone and ran to the door as he dialed for an ambulance as Jack's screams continued. Hotch opened the door to find two members of management of the building demanding to know what had taken place.

"Agent Hotchner, what the hell happened in here? We heard what sounded like a gunshot. Is everyone alright?" he asked, as the operator on the line requested his emergency.

"Yes...This is Agent Aaron Hotchner" he said as he held up his index finger telling the two employees to wait a moment. "I need...I need an ambulance to 811 Ridgemont Avenue...Arlington, Virginia now!" he yelled, trying to focus on the dispatcher's request for more information as it was drowned out by his son's distress. "Apartment 218. My son has been shot. Send somebody now!" he added as the men at the door were astonished. "Okay...okay" Hotch replied into the phone, then ended the call.

"Agent Prentiss and I have everything under control here." Hotch informed the men. "Thank you" he added, closing the door and running back down the hallway. Making his way back down the hall, he realized that Jack's cries had stopped and he panicked.

As he reached the doorway, the air was forced from his lungs when he took in the sight of Emily sitting on the bedroom floor, her hands covered in blood as they held his lifeless son.

"No...no, no...Jack!" he cried as he dropped to his knees beside the two most important people in his life.

"Aaron he's alive. He's lost consciousness but he's alive." she assured him as she kept pressure on the small wound. "I think the bullet grazed his leg but there's so much blood, I can't tell." she said, knowing he was terrified but seeing that she eased his mind somewhat.

"Oh my god, what have I done Emily?" he whispered, his heart aching inside of his chest as he looked down at Jack's pale face, becoming more frustrated. "Give him to me" he demanded as he reached out his arms.

"I'm not moving him again...and Aaron, it was an accident and that's what will be in the report." she said a little agitated herself, finding it hard to deal with her anger toward Hotch and also her love for him. "Just try to calm down" she told him as he watched her hand move to his forearm, staining his shirt with his son's blood.

"Come on Jack" Hotch said in his most calming tone as he stroked his son's hair. "Please don't leave me son." he begged. "I'm so sorry Jack. I'm so sorry. Buddy please wake up."

"Aaron, it may be best that he's unconscious for now. He won't be in pain." she told him truthfully.

"Yeah...yeah, I guess you're right." he replied, lowering his gaze to the area of the injury he'd inflicted on his son. "Emily...I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything." he said honestly as she saw his tremendous remorse.

"I know Aaron" she replied as she wiped her tears with her upper sleeve. "But...you need help. I can't do this. I can't help you if you won't help yourself." she conveyed as they both heard the ambulance approaching the building.

"I know Em. I know." he said, kissing Jack on the forehead, then hurrying to the door. Emily may not have had full assurance that Hotch would stand by his word, but he knew there was no other choice to be made.

Hotch met the paramedics at the door, leading them to the bedroom. After the medics agreed that it was safe to move him, Emily let the them tend to Jack as they lifted him from her arms, moving him to the gurney. Hotch and Emily both stood, shaking and crying, taking deep breaths to resurface their trained abilities. One medic placed the small oxygen mask on Jack's face and checked his vitals while the other directed his attention to the wound, packing and wrapping it tightly.

"It looks like the bullet went through the outer flesh of the thigh. Fortunately, it seems to have missed any main arteries but I'm not positive about the damage to the muscle. He's lost a lot of blood but his vitals are good." the paramedic told the couple as they stood by watching Jack become alert slowly, Emily's fear appearing on her face. "We gave him a sedative so he shouldn't feel much pain, if any." he assured them as Hotch tried to compose himself, standing as close as possible to the gurney beside Emily.

"Daddy..." Jack spoke weakly, fighting to open his eyes completely.

"I'm right here Jack" he said, running his hand over his blond hair once more before the paramedics prepared to leave. "Everything will be okay. You're okay buddy. Just let the doctors take care of you" he told him as Jack's eyes closed again.

"Let's go!" the other medic said, unlocking the wheels as Emily and Hotch felt the safety railing of the gurney leave their grasp.

"We're going with you." Hotch informed them.

"There's only room for one of you." the paramedic replied, rushing the stretcher out of the bedroom door.

As they rolled Jack down the short hallway, Emily reached her hand out to Hotch. When he turned to face her, he crashed into her arms. The tears overflowed from her eyes, as she tried to remain calm.

"He'll be okay Aaron. I know he will." she said wholeheartedly. "You go...I'll be right behind you." she added as she gathered up a small smile to comfort him.

"Okay." he replied, not being able to muster enough strength to return the gesture.

Hotch and Emily reached the living room just in time to see the paramedics wheel Jack away from their sight. Hotch kissed Emily on the cheek and for the first time in twenty-four hours, she felt like everything may be alright.

"I'll see you there then" he said, as he watched Emily pick up his one of his medication bottles, pouring one of the anxiety pills into her hand.

"Please..." she said to him, silently frightened of his reaction. "Please take one. You're extremely stressed right now and you need to be capable to be as strong as you can for Jack." she encouraged him.

"Alright" he said, taking the pill from her, swallowing it without water and then heading outside to attempt to do everything he could to help his son understand how much he never meant to hurt him.


	8. Chapter 8

Sitting in the back of the ambulance as the medics attended to his son, Hotch watched as Jack remained groggy but somewhat alert. He stayed out of the way as much as possible as he held Jack's small hand. He felt sick to his stomach when flashes of the incident invaded his mind. His emotions did nothing but force his frustration onto the paramedics.

"Move this thing! Come on!" he said loudly to the driver through the dividing glass.

"Sir, we're moving as quickly as possible through this traffic." the medic said. "We've got him stable."

"I know. You're right. I'm sorry." he replied.

Jack was in and out of consciousness and Hotch's fear was that he would close his eyes and never open them again. He beat himself up mentally for what he'd done. He knew the drugging he'd experienced had a lot to do with his actions but he knew that his ignorance had played quite the part as well. Now that he was able to think a little more clearly, he began to realize how his selfishness had taken over. Even without the drug, he knew he had let this punishment thing go too far. He had hurt Emily in a way that he never imagined he could. He had seen UNSUBS that had raped women and knew that he would come close to killing someone that ever laid a hand on Emily. Now here he was wondering how the hell he was going to tell the woman he loves that he'd rather die than hurt her. He didn't mean to do this. He wondered if it even mattered whether he meant to cause her all of this pain or not. No matter what triggered his actions that day, he still did this to her and he wouldn't blame her if she never wanted to see him again. He knew that he may never be able to make love to her again. The way she felt in his arms was possibly going to be nothing more than a memory.

Hotch sat in the ambulance still holding Jack's hand until they pulled up to the emergency room. Jack's small fingers fell from his father's hand as the paramedics wheeled Jack through the outer emergency room doors. Hotch went inside the hospital to the surgical waiting room waiting to hear the news that his son would be alright and would be coming home soon. He had waited over an hour when he heard Emily walk up behind him.

"Hey...Have you heard anything about Jack?" she asked, stepping close to him, thinking of hugging him, but not sure what state of mind he was in.

"No" he said, lowering his head. "How could I have done this Emily? I can't..." he barely spoke. "I don't know if I can do this. I have a reputation of being so strong but I'm not when it comes to you and Jack. You're both my world Emily. I want nothing more than to make you and Jack happy if you'll ever be able to give me a chance to show you how sorry I am." he said, realizing that this wasn't the right time to discuss this. "Jack makes me who I am. He keeps me grounded, and you do too with that little attitude of yours." he said with a small grin. Emily gave him a smirk, but a very small one. "Emily...what am I going to do if Jack doesn't..."

"Aaron...no..don't say that. He will. He's a fighter. You know how he is on the soccer field. He'll be the same way on the table. He'll be waking up asking you if he can get a new video game or a new car model to put together." she told him positively, trying to give him strength that she knew he lacked right now.

"I know...you're right. I'm just so scared Em." he said as the tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I know Aaron. I am too." she said, blinking her tears away. "But we have to be strong for him." she told him encouragingly, as the surgeon came up behind Hotch, pulling off his surgical cap.

"Mr. and Mrs. Hotchner?" the doctor spoke up.

Hotch turned to face the doctor that was already looking at Emily, not denying the titles the doctor had assumed were appropriate.

"Yes" Hotch replied to the doctor before Emily could speak.

"I'm Dr. Ellis." the surgeon said.

"Yes... how is he? How is Jack? And don't bullshit me. Give it to me straight." he said in a kind tone as Emily's hand landed on his shoulder, hoping to keep him calm.

"He's doing good. He's still in recovery but you can visit him in about an hour. We've repaired the damage to his thigh and we have put him on antibiotics to reduce the risk of infection. There was a considerable amount of blood loss but he's definitely out of the woods", the doctor reported.

Finally Aaron was able to release the breath he had been holding since the doctor began informing them of Jack's condition.

"Thank you...thank you Dr. Ellis." Aaron told him as Emily did the same.

"When he be able to go home?" Emily asked.

"Two, maybe three days. I'll be able to give you a better answer tomorrow." he revealed. "A nurse will let you know when you can visit him." he said, as Hotch and Emily became a little more relaxed. "He's a tough little boy." the doctor added as he turned away to make his rounds.

As soon as the doctor stepped away, Aaron turned to face Emily, wrapping his arms around her, almost knocking the breath from her. The sudden move scared her at first but she immediately realized he only wanted and needed comfort. Emily amazed herself at how she was able to push away the horrific images from the night before and just be his pillar of strength.

"I told you he'd be fine Aaron" she said, assuring even herself that everything was going to be alright.

"Emily...I don't feel so good." he told her breathlessly.

"Sit down Aaron. It's been a long day. With the stress and the medicine..." she began as she led him to the waiting room chairs.

"I just can't believe that all of this has happened. I can't believe what I've done. All the pain I've caused..." he released.

"Aaron...it's going to take all three of us time to heal...physically and emotionally." she told him while holding his hand in hers.

"And mentally?" he asked as the guilt washed over him again.

"Aaron...not now, okay? One step at a time." she begged.

He didn't speak, only nodded his head, forcing himself to be strong.

"I love you." she told him with complete honesty.

"I love you too" he told her, wrapping one arm around her and gently pulling her close as they sat there in the dim, quiet room, waiting. They heard hospital personnel tending to patients, though only one patient captured every feeling imagineable from both of them.

An hour and fifteen minutes later, after four cups of coffee between them, Hotch and Emily stood as quickly as possible to greet the nurse that entered the waiting room. They were both exhausted but their adrenaline was restored knowing they would see Jack soon.

"Hi, my name is Rose Langley. Jack is out of recovery and doing well. I'll be attending to your son on the night shift probably every night that he's here. I work for the next three nights, so they put me with Jack." she said, slightly confusing Hotch and Emily. "We find that it helps when children have the same nurse at night. It confuses them less and helps them to earn trust with one nurse instead of having so many different ones taking care of them. The nights are always hardest for the kids." she continued.

"We understand" Hotch replied, anxiously awaiting to see his son.

"Of course, at least one of you are required to stay with Jack since he is under 13 years of age." she informed them.

"That definitely won't be a problem" Emily spoke up, knowing Hotch's anxiety could change the atmosphere in any given moment, and that this innocent nurse could be at the receiving end of it.

"Can we see him now?" Hotch asked hurriedly.

"Yes Sir, but no more than two people right now. He's a little groggy still and probably won't be awake for long. He needs his rest." she said firmly, then turned to Emily.

"Is your name Emily?" the nurse asked.

Hotch and Emily looked at each other briefly before Emily nodded her head, blinking her tears away.

"Yes I am" she confirmed.

"Jack has been asking for you" nurse Langley told her.

Emily smiled through her tears as Hotch's heart ached. 'He hates me' he thought to himself as the nurse showed them the way to Jack's room.

Emily saw the look in Hotch's eyes and knew what he was thinking. She walked closely to him, grabbing his hand in hers as they headed down the long hallway. "Don't even think it Aaron. He just needs some time." she said, squeezing his hand.

"Yeah..." he agreed, not completely convinced that when he walked into Jack's room, that his own son wasn't going to be scared of him.

Emily held Hotch's hand tight as she slowly pushed open the door to Jack's room, as his tiny frame under the covers came into her view. She knew it was going to affect Hotch tremendously to see Jack like this, knowing he was the cause of it, so she pushed her lingering anger toward him away so she could give him the support he needed right now. The two of them made their way through the door and Emily heard a small gasp from Hotch as his eyes landed on Jack. She continued to hold his hand as he made his way to Jack's side. Emily knew Hotch needed to be close to his child, so she let go of his hand and made her way to the other side of the bed. Hotch carefully lifted Jack's small hand and laid it in his large palm, causing Jack to stir. Hotch smiled through his tears, as Emily did the same until a calamity began that Hotch would never be able to pull from his mind.

"Daddy...nn...nooo! Let me go! Da...Dad...stop!" the little boy screamed as his arms and legs began to move around in the bed as his head moved from side to side. "I'm no...t ...th..the bad guy..." Jack slurred out as Hotch froze where he stood. He had caused Jack nightmares similar to what Foyet had caused him.

Emily saw that Hotch was dazed and she immediately went into a nurturing mode. Emily woke Jack gently by running her hand over his hair while trying to keep his left leg still without causing him pain.

"It's okay Jack. Wake up sweetie...we're here." she said as his eyes began to open and his body calmed down. "It was a dream Jack. You're in the hospital. You're okay now." she assured him as he began to take in his surroundings, attempting to open his eyes completely.

Hotch stood there with his hand over his mouth, which had been pulled from Jack's during the child's struggle, as he heard Jack call out a name that he hasn't heard in years.

"Mom?" Jack spoke calmly as his eyes focused on Emily.

"Hi sweetie, it's Emily." she replied softly, rubbing his forearm gently.

"Yeah..." he replied in a sleepy tone, accompanied by the tiniest grin. "Where's..." Jack started when he turned his weak gaze to his father. "Dad?"

"Yeah buddy...I'm here." Hotch told him as he slowly took his hand again, hoping not to frighten him. "You're gonna be okay buddy" he said with a smile as tears ran down his face. Hotch looked over at Emily and she winked at him as she pulled away from the bed, moving to the recliner at the corner of the room, telling him that he and Jack needed this moment. Jack looked at Emily with small panic as she moved away.

"I'm not leaving Jack. I'm just gonna sit right here." Emily said and then received a nod from Jack.

Jack looked back at his father. "Dad...what happened to me? Why am I here?" he asked innocently.

Hotch's heart raced inside his chest as he searched for the right words to say. "Jack...there was an accident." he began as Jack interrupted.

"Did I do something? Am I in trouble?" he asked his dad, obviously confused by the anesthesia.

"No. No way. You haven't done anything wrong Jack. Not at all...it's just that...well...you know when I tell you how important gun safety is?" he asked in his best fatherly tone, accepting a small nod from Jack. "Well I didn't follow my own rules and had my gun out of the safe when I shouldn't have." he continued, trying his best to explain the situation carefully as Emily observed the heartbreaking scene.

"You shot me. Right Dad? My leg." he said as he attempted to sit up to look down at his lower body.

"Jack lay back buddy" Hotch told him as he lightly pushed his shoulders back to the pillow. "Yes..." Hotch forced out as it became harder to breathe. "But it was an accident Jack...and I'm...I'm sorry son. I'm so sorry", he said as his words broke apart and tears drenched his face. "I would never hurt you on purpose. You know that don't you?" he begged.

"Yes...I know Dad" he assured his father as he watched his tears fall to the bed. "Don't cry Dad. It was an accident." the little boy said sweetly, believing in his own heart that it was the truth, giving Hotch a moment of solace.

Three days later, Jack was thrilled to be going home to his own room. Both Emily and Hotch stayed with Jack the first night, at Jack's request, but neither slept well. Between the nurses coming in and out, waking at any stir that Jack made, and the short trips to and from the hospital for showers, etc., they were both exhausted. The second night, Emily stayed with Jack. Hotch, along with his chaperone, Dave, slept at the apartment. Hotch slept on the couch, with his cell closer to him than he'd ever kept it on a regular night. He wanted a drink. He honestly wanted more than one drink but he'd never forgive himself if he was passed out drunk when Jack needed him, so he never picked up the bottle. Dave took the bed in the guest room for the night and claimed to have slept pretty well. The last night Hotch stayed at the hospital while Emily straightened up the house, including Jack's room, making sure everything was out of the floor to prevent Jack from falling when he became mobile again. She stripped his favorite bedding, washed it and put it back on the full size bed. She wanted to make him as comfortable as possible and for some reason unknown to her, Star Wars made him feel at home. On the trips home for a shower and a change, Emily had to force herself to walk through their bedroom, a few times, long enough to get clothes she needed and toiletries. The night Hotch had stayed at home, he had stripped their bed and thrown away the stained sheets. Emily noticed. She knew he was taking her feelings into consideration and had also noticed how his demeanor had changed since he was taking his medicine as prescribed.

Emily drove to the hospital to pick up Jack and Hotch. When she walked into the lobby, she was met by a smiling Jack sitting in a wheelchair being assisted out of the hospital by his father who needed four arms at the moment.

"Oh wow...I didn't realize you had so many gifts Jack! This looks like more than was in your room." she teased, relieving Hotch of three balloons and a bag full of stuffed animals. "Are you sure you didn't make a pit stop at the gift shop?" she asked raising an eye brow to Jack and then to Hotch.

"Well..." Hotch began. "There was one little thing in the window that he couldn't resist." he said with a wink as Jack held up a stuffed toy Dalmatian puppy.

"This is for you Emily. I know you want a real Dalmatian but I saw this one and I thought you could have it until you get a real one, right Dad?" Jack asked as he turned to look over his shoulder at his dad.

"Uhh...I don't know Jack. A puppy is a big responsibility and puppies of that kind get really big." Hotch said.

"We can keep him out..." Jack began when Hotch almost lost control of his tone as he interrupted.

"Jack..." he said firmly but then paused. "Let's just get you home buddy okay? Let's get you well before we think about getting a puppy."

"Okay...can we stop for ice cream?" he asked as Emily saw Hotch beginning to lose his patience.

"Jack, you had ice cream almost every day while you were here." Emily reminded him. "Let's go home and I'll make you something special okay?"

"Okay..." Jack replied in only a somewhat disappointed tone because he loved Emily's cooking.


	9. Chapter 9

A few days later, Jack was becoming a pro at using his crutches and after another week, he was back in school. Emily and Hotch had put most of their time and efforts into taking care of Jack, of course, and had put most of their feelings on the back burner as much as possible. They had both been ordered time off work but Emily did go in every other day or so, but kept her presence at the BAU only. Everything had been explained to the team, excluding the very personal details, and the director decided that Hotch wasn't to come back to work until he had his FBI phychiatrist's approval and also an evaluation by the bureau. Emily went into the office to help with files, interviews and even interogations but didn't go on cases. She only went to work during the hours that Jack was in school because Hotch still wasn't allowed to be alone with his son, however, he was allowed to stay alone. It had been decided between them that she needed to stay close to home in case anything unexpected came up concerning Hotch or Jack. Hotch met with the director and Strauss, along with his psychiatrist, and informed them of everything that absolutely had to be explained about his being drugged and about the shooting. Noone was told about the act that Hotch had carried out in their bedroom. Emily, Hotch and Rossi had discussed everything throughly and decided that Rossi was the only person that needed to know everything that had taken place. He had spent alot of time with Hotch, doing whatever he could to emotionally and mentally help his friend.

Hotch was still so distraught over everything that had happened but he continued to take his medication and had successfully attended his appointments with Dr. Neil that were ordered by the Director. Emily was coping. The nightmares were horrible and she was uncomfortable, sometimes, around Hotch. She didn't have to tell him; he knew. Sometimes she would flinch if he surprised her with any sudden movements. They had moments where they would talk but the tension was still there and both knew that it was unavoidable. Emily didn't feel comfortable enough to sleep in the same bed with Hotch, which he completely understood but the sudden change in their sex life effected him so much more than it did Emily. The guest room had become Emily's room. It wasn't very comfortable emotionally for her but it wasn't near as bad as being in their bedroom. Hotch had always been a very sexual person but he began to wonder if it was more of the drug still in his system effecting him more than his own sexual needs. Either way he was beginning to feel like he would explode if he didn't get his release somehow. There was no way that he would ever cheat on Emily and that thought never crossed his mind but the need was making him more irritable than he already was.

Emily had spent all morning at the BAU after taking Jack to school. She did a follow up interview from a case that Rossi had asked her to do and then spent some time in Garcia's lair helping her with her end of the case, getting the unusual experience of helping the team during slowed down around noon for the two beauties and Emily thought it may be nice to go home, maybe make lunch for Hotch and herself and spend a little time together alone. They didn't get much time alone to talk about things and hadn't spoken much about that horrible night, and following day, since Jack's return from the hospital. Everything was about Jack. Though both Emily and Hotch had their moments of weakness and moments of frustration toward each other, they had made a decision that Jack and his recuperation was to be put above everything else.

Emily stopped by the grocery store to pick up a couple of items that she needed for the quick sub sandwiches she planned to make. Hotch wasn't exactly a health nut and Emily warned him many times about eating more healthy. Since everything that happened, he wasn't eating much at all. He had lost a total of fourteen pounds and she was concerned about him, especially having to take medications. Dr. Neil told Hotch that it wouldn't be the medication causing the lack of appetite. He informed him that it wouldn't be the effects from the drugging either, considering it's wasn't a high dose. The doctor let him know that his guilt was eating him up, which was no news to Hotch, and that he would help him find ways to cope with it. Dr. Neil was an amazing doctor and he helped Hotch with so many things but it seemed like the guilt was inside him to stay.

Emily may have reluctantly carried some anger and resentment toward Hotch but Emily loved him with all of her heart and she knew the words she had said to Rossi were truly the way she felt about love. You do everything it takes to make it work when you love someone. You open yourself up to their side of the relationship too and not just your own. She knew that Hotch hadn't been eating well, so every chance she got, she tried to cook something that was very appealing to him. A cold combo submarine sandwich was a favorite of his and since she needed to get back to the office soon, she decided that was a quick meal that hopefully Hotch would find enticing.

She hurried into the house, hearing The Beatles' "Yesterday" coming from the living room's stereo speakers. She assumed maybe Hotch was in one of his better moods until she heard the actual lyrics being sang.

'Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be. There's a shadow hanging over me. Oh, yesterday came suddenly.'

The medication was helping alot but he still showed effects from the LSD once in a while. The doctor told them that the effects would taper off, and they had, but each episode Hotch had was very hard for Emily and she still found herself shaking when she witnessed his temper. Thankfully he had kept it under control around Jack most of the time and never unleashed a harsh temper on the boy. Emily just wished he could do that for her as well.

She laid her purse and the grocery bag on the kitchen counter and went to look for Hotch who was nowhere to be seen. She walked down the hall calling his name.

"Aaron?"

He didn't answer and she knew then that he probably couldn't hear her voice over the music. She continued down the hall and reluctantly walked to their bedroom.

Emily was shocked at the sight before her as she walked through the doorway.

"What the fuck Aaron?" She yelled loudly prompting Hotch to sit himself up quickly and remove his hand from his rock hard cock that he was stroking wildy when Emily appeared in the room. Not that Emily hadn't seen Hotch in this act before, but it was never without her presence.

"Emily...I...wait!" he yelled as Emily immediately turned and walked back down the hallway. He threw his jeans on quickly. To no surprise, he completely lost his erection in seconds. He rushed into the kitchen where Emily was standing with her back to him, washing her hands at the sink.

"Emily" he said in almost a whisper.

She stood in place not turning around or speaking. She just washed her hands and dried them off with the small dish towel.

"Emily. Look at me when I am talking to you." he said using his famous stern tone.


	10. Chapter 10

Emily jerked around and walked toward him, the counter keeping them apart.

"What?" she said sarcastically and forcefully.

Unhappy with her tone, he sighed as a million thoughts went through his head. He wanted to punish her right now for talking to him that way. He fought with the demons in his head, wanting to punish her for his own personal reasons. He fought what he knew should be the furtherest thing from his mind. Seconds went by as she avoided his gaze, then he finally spoke. It was the most common words used at a moment like this, but yet the only words he truly wanted to say.

"I'm sorry" he said with the most sincere tone.

Emily met his gaze again and he saw her tear filled eyes. "You're sorry? That's it?"

"No...that's not it. Can we please sit down and talk?" he asked.

"Well...what exactly is there to talk about Aaron? You were masturbating to the Beatles. You don't have to be a profiler to figure this one out." she threw at him as she made her way to the other end of the counter, preparing their lunch.

Hotch walked around the end of the counter as Emily turned away from him. He grabbed her by her upper arm and turned her around to face him. The next thing she knew, his lips were on hers. He immediately put his hands on each side of her head to hold her where he wanted her as he pushed his tongue in her mouth, doing what he had wanted to for nearly two weeks. She put her hands on his chest and pushed his body away from hers.

"No!" she said simply but with defiance as she practically ran to the living room where the song "She Loves You" filled the room. The mix of the somewhat loud music and Hotch's demeanor caused her to become more irritated. She walked over to the stereo and shut it off abruptly. She turned around to find Hotch standing right in front of her. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, she began her defense.

"How could you be so self-centered Aaron?" she asked.

"Emily..." he said in a yearning voice.

"Don't give me that shit about having needs! I have them too Aaron. Just because you raped me doesn't mean that I don't have those type of needs too!" she yelled somewhat loudly when she saw the hurt on his face.

Her reminder to him felt like a blow to his stomach and she felt like shit for saying it but it didn't stop her for defending herself. "I know...Emily...if you'd just let me talk please." he begged. "Please?"

Emily stared into his eyes and blinked her tears away, moving to sit on the couch, remaining quiet. He sat down beside her, keeping a distance between them, attempting not to upset her more.

"Look at me please." he said when he saw her eyes traveling around the room.

She did as he asked but slid back toward her end of the couch before doing so.

While feeling the twist in his gut from her actions, he began. "I miss you Emily. Not just touching you and holding you..." he said with a pause. "...but you. All of you...us. I just miss you so much." he told her as his eyes became watery.

"Aaron...don't you think for one minute that I miss what we had too? she asked, now crying with him.

"What we had?" he asked, blown away at her words.

"Aaron..." she started.

"No...I wanna know what you mean Emily."

"Aaron...I don't know...okay? I need time. I need time to think."

"Think about what exactly?" he asked feeling sick at the thought of her leaving him.

"Everything. I'm not sure I can move on from this. I mean, I want to. I really do. I just don't know if I can and you're rushing me and I can't think straight." she said, raising her hands to each side of her head, sighing heavily.

"I'm sorry." he said, repeating his words earlier.

Emily stood up immediately. "Stop saying you're sorry!" she yelled.

Lifting himself off the couch as well, he replied angrily. "Well what the hell do you want me to say Emily?"

"That you're going to try! That you're going to give this everything you have and that you're going to give me the time that I need." she said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"I am Emily. I am going to do that. This isn't easy for me either. I didn't mean to hurt you. You have to believe that. I can't help what happened to me and I can't help what it caused me to do to you. God! I would never have done something like that to you Emily! Never." he continued. "It makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it." he said, feeling exactly that way as he hesitated. "And what I've done to my son?" He held his hand against his stomach. "After what I've done, I should be the one being strong for you! It's killing me inside" he said near hyperventilation, trying to control his breath enough to continue. "And I need you. I need you to...to help me. Please! I don't know what to do and I don't know how to get back to who I used to be!" he cried, completely breaking down in front of her for the first time since his actions that night.

Emily's heart had never ached so hard in her life. She walked closer to him and wrapped her arms around him and held him. He needed her and as hard as it was for her, she gave him the support he needed. "I'm here" was all she said and all that it took to provoke him to slip out of her arms and fall slowly to his knees in front of her. He didn't say anything, he just wrapped his arms around her waist and cried uncontrollably. His cries broke her heart and it was sounds she hadn't heard since the day that she, Morgan and Rossi found him hovering over Foyet. His body shook as he cried harder, his grasp so tight around her that it was almost becoming painful for her. She moved her hand over his dark hair and rubbed his back gently with the other. "It'll be okay. We will get through this somehow. Together." she said as he loosened his embrace a little.

"We have to Em. I cannot live without you." he said, raising his head to look up at her. His face was drenched and Emily's blouse was damp as well. He broke the clutch he had on her and stood up slowly, pushing himself up to stand. He stood there looking down on her, shaking, trying to calm himself.

"This is just going to take some time baby" she told him, trying to console him. "I don't know if I could live without you either but I know I don't want to try." she told him honestly, wiping her tears.

Hotch leaned very slowly toward Emily, keeping his hands at his sides as he kissed her on the cheek. "I love you" he whispered. "Excuse me." he said politely and walked down the hall.

Emily knew where he was going and heard the horrible sounds coming from the master bath. She made her way through the recently repaired bedroom door and then approached the bathroom door which had also been repaired. The door wasn't completely closed so she just spoke from the other side of the door, giving him time.

"Can I do anything Aaron?" she asked softly.

"No...I'm alright. I'll be out in a minute." he replied sweetly.

"Okay" She walked back to the kitchen and prepared the subs quickly, not knowing whether he would be able to eat at all.

Hotch walked into the kitchen area and sat on the bar stool so quietly that she didn't hear him. She turned around, continuing to fix lunch and gasp deeply when she saw him sitting there.

"Sorry" he told her sincerely.

"It's okay, just please don't sneak up on me like that." she pleaded, showing Hotch just how he had effected her mentally.

"It won't happen again." he assured her.

"Feeling any better?" she asked.

"A little" he told her. "So we're having subs? I can help if you'd like."

"Well actually you're having a sub. I'll take mine with me. I have to get back to the office. I'm already later than I told Pen I would be." she said, using a tone that hopefully wouldn't make him feel guilty for their long conversation.

"I see. Okay" he said in a disappointed tone.

She looked at him for a moment and noticed the change in his behavior. "You know what? I think Pen can handle things. I'll stay here with you and then pick up Jack at school."

"No...you go ahead. It's alright.", he said, He couldn't help but feel such a loss of control because of the fact that he hadn't been at work in weeks and wouldn't be able to go back for another week at least. That was a very hard thing for him to face. He knew things would be kept professional at the office and that other agents wouldn't know everything, but he couldn't help but dread the looks from the team. He knew they were his family and that they would never judge him but he didn't want them to give him sympathy either and he knew that is most likely how they would react. He knew it was out of love but honestly, he wasn't sure that he wouldn't break down in front of them. "They are already two agents down. They need the help." he said firmly, walking around the counter to help her with their late lunch.

"Alright, I'll go in until it's time to get Jack" she said as she wrapped her sandwich, grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and turned to him. "Don't forget your medicine okay?"

"I won't Em. Now go before Garcia sends out an army." he said as they both actually snickered. It has been a while since they had heard laughter in this house and Hotch was going to make sure that changed. Emily grabbed her purse and stood in front of him for a moment before she spoke.

"I love you" she said, as she always did upon leaving their home, though Hotch could tell the tone wasn't the same as before.

'I love you too Emily." he said.

She kissed him on the cheek, shocking Hotch, then made her way out the door. Hotch just stood there in the kitchen for a moment before attempting to eat his lunch at the small bar. He slowly ate all of the six inch sub and took his medication. Soon after he finished eating, he found that his stomach didn't accept the meal as well as he had hoped but it had calmed enough to keep his meal down. He sat on their bed and as he looked around the room, he was saddened at the thought that Emily cringed every time she walked through their bedroom door.

"I can't lose her." he said, his words echoing in his head as they filled the room. He sat alone and remembered the beautiful memories that he and Emily had shared in the room used to be their's; a room of passion, love and respect.


	11. Chapter 11

Jack became extremely excited when his dad informed him and Emily of the tickets he had bought for them both.

"We're going to an aquarium?" Jack asked confirming the news with his dad.

"Yes, you and Emily both have a ticket for the aquarium. You can pet the stingrays and watch sharks swim above your head." he said when Jack's eyes lit up. "You even get to eat at a restaurant where the fish jump right out of the water and onto your plate!" he said as Jack gave his dad a suspicious look.

"Dad!" he giggled. "You made that up right?"

"Yes Jack. I'm kidding." he said with a smile. It was so good to see Jack smiling again. Hotch had a difficult time with his guilt about hurting his son and that guilt was brought so harshly to the surface one day when Jack became upset at him. Even though he had graduated from his crutches, he wouldn't be able to play the first three games of the soccer season. Even the innocent boy had his moments where he was experiencing the tension between his father and Emily. The two adults tried to keep things calm at all times around Jack but every day didn't work out that way. All of this was hard on him too and one day, Jack's words hurt his father tremendously but Hotch knew he had no room to deny it.

Flashback

Hotch called to his son who was sitting in the living room on the couch. "Jack, I asked you to turn the TV off and wash your hands. Dinner is ready and Emily worked hard on it." he said, giving Emily a small smile.

"Okay just one second. It's almost over." he said, referring to the TV show.

Hotch walked from the dining area to the living room in a few seconds, stopping in front of the couch to look down at Jack, while Emily finished setting the table.

"When I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it immediately, without question. Do you understand me?" he asked firmly.

"Yes" the boy answered, standing up. "Dad, am I going to be able to play soccer this year?" he asked, hopefully as he walked toward the hallway.

"No, not at the start of the season but later on." he told him, watching his face turn upside down.

"That just great" Jack said in a frustrated tone.

"Jack...now please." he said loudly.

"Okay...okay" he said, irritated as entered the hallway. "If you hadn't shot me I'd be able to play soccer" he mumbled causing the last part of his sentence to be mumbled.

"What did you say to me?" he asked in a somewhat hurtful, somewhat irritated tone. Jack turned to face his father. He considered not repeating his words, not knowing if his dad really didn't hear him or if he was just saying what parents are known to say.

"I said if you hadn't shot me..." he began.

"I heard what you said Jack" he told him sarcastically. "I don't appreciate..." he continued with a louder voice until both Hotchner men heard Emily call them from the kitchen.

"Come on you two. You both asked me to make this meal. Let's eat it while it's hot." she said, sitting at the table.

Hotch gave Emily a glare and the little amount of hunger she felt turned to nausea. His stare laid on her for at least five seconds and though she heard him talking to Jack, he never took his eyes off of her. "We will talk about this later Jack. Go wash your hands."

Hotch walked to the table and sat across from Emily. He laid his hands on each side of his plate and spoke to her in a low voice.

"No matter what has happened, he is still my son and you need to make sure that you do not ever interrupt me again at a time like that." he said as calmly but firmly as possible.

"Okay..." she said, her tone carrying a hint of sarcasm. "When you have proven to me that you can handle disciplining him without that temper, I will stop worrying about what's going to happen next."

Jack approached the table and looked at the both of them. "I'm sorry I said what I did."

He sat down at the table and Hotch patted him on his shoulder and gave him a small smile. "Thank you Jack. Let's just eat before it gets cold." He ended the subject for the time being, but when he looked back to Emily, his facial expression changed completely.

After dinner and cleaning up the kitchen, Jack took his sponge bath, and was thankful that in a few days, he'd be able to take an actual bath. Dinner was late that Saturday night, so Hotch and Emily were ready to turn in also. Hotch hated that she slept in the guest room but he understood her reasons. Jack was confused about the sleeping arrangements the two had and unfortunately had to fib to the boy for his best interest. They told him that the bed bothers Emily's back and until they purchased a new one, she was going to sleep in the guest room. This wasn't a total lie because Emily had brought up the fact that she didn't rest well on the matress to Hotch before. Hotch hated the sound of the words coming out of his mouth as he told Jack their reason but there was no way they could tell him the truth.

"Emily" Hotch said as he knocked on the guest room door.

"Yes? I'll be right there." she replied, then unlocking the door and opening it.

"Why is the door locked?" he asked, then realizing his ignorance. She was always hiding her body from him and he couldn't blame her. He stepped inside the room, leaving her no choice but to walk backwards. He shut the door and she unknowingly closed the robe around her neck.

Emily didn't need to reply to his question so she decided to try to guide the future conversation in a positive direction.

"Do you think Jack will have time for an episode of SpongeBob before bed?" she asked.

"Why do you do that?" he asked, expecting her to figure out what he was asking.

"Do what?" she asked, both of them keeping a low voice.

Hotch crossed his arms. "Take up for him."

"I don't take up for him. I was just trying to have one decent night around here without so much damn tension." she said honestly.

"There's a difference in helping him through this and letting him get away with talking to me like that and feeling sorry for him. Don't you think I feel sorry for him? I put him in the physical and emotional pain he's been in. Even maybe mentally too."

"I'm sorry if I over stepped my bourdaries with him Aaron, but you scare me sometimes. I can't help that. I'm trying okay?"

Hotch moved closer to her. "I know you are. I'm sorry." He said, turning away from her. "I really am." He turned back to face her. "It's everything, you know? I've been told I can't go back to work yet, the medicine makes me feel horrible and I just want everything to be like it was."

"I don't think it will ever be like it was Aaron but that doesn't mean it can't be great again. If you want things like they were, then stop making excuses. Make changes and stop feeling sorry for yourself." she told him boldly.

Hotch stood there and soaked up her wisdom that he would have normally had if his world hadn't fallen apart. He stood there realizing how selfish he was being and how strong Emily was being after what he had done to her.

"God...I'm so sorry Em. I know I've asked you many times if you are doing okay, and I know you put up that front and try to play the tough one, but are you really okay?" he asked sincerely.

He witnessed her 'tell' come alive and waited for what he could see was going to be her completely honest answer.

"No...I'm not okay." Her eyes filled with tears and she knew she needed to be honest with him. "I'm having nightmares and I can't rest. I know I've been quite the bitch sometimes and the dreams have contributed to that. I don't want to stand here and make excuses either. I will be okay and so will you and Jack."

"I hate to hear about the nightmares and I know you don't want to come to me about them." he assumed.

"It's not that I don't want to come to a man that I know loves and cares for me unconditionally. I just can't. The man I see in my dreams is not the man standing in front of me and sometimes it's hard to separate the two, especially after what did happen in reality."

"I understand." he said simply.

"Do you?" she asked curiosuly.

"Yes. I do." he told her, reassuring her with a nod of his head. "And I'm trying to even more." he said as she read his face. "Emily, I need you to tell me what I did to you, exactly what I did to you, so that I can understand everything." he told her, keeping his voice low. "Not now, obviously, but soon. Can you do that?" he asked.

"I can try" she said when a small knock on the door halted the conversation.

"Dad?" Jack called.

"I'll be right there Jack." his father said kindly.

"Go ahead and get dressed. We'll be waiting on the couch." he said to her, then left the room in his own sleep pants, t-shirt and socked feet.

Hotch walked into the living room and sat down on the other end of the couch beside Jack, prompting Jack to scoot to the middle. He knew Emily would be more comfortable with the seating arrangements he had made. He reached for the TV remote and turned the volume down.

"Jack, what you said to me was a fact but I need you to understand something with all of your heart." he said, then pausing.

"Okay" Jack said patiently.

"I would do anything I could to change what I did to you. Anything. I know people say things when their angry but I need to know that you really understand how sorry I am." he said, nearly holding his breath, hoping Jack would say anything to let him know that he understood.

"I do Dad. I'm sorry I said that to you." he said as he looked away. "I wish I could go back and change that too." he told him, moving to hug his Dad quickly. "I love you Dad."

"I love you too. Thank you son" Hotch said while returning the hug.

Emily walked into the room and saw the two of them hugging. She waited before approaching the couch and let them have this moment that they needed. As they broke the embrace, Jack reached for the remote control and turned the volume back up as Emily lit up the room with her personality.

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!" she sang as she sat on the couch.

"Emily...you're crazy" Jack said with a laugh. "But we love you anyway, right Dad?"

"You better believe it" Hotch said, giving Emily a smile.

"I love you too Jack." she said. "Both of you" she added, smiling back at Hotch .

End Flashback

Hotch laughed at the facial expression Jack had given him for teasing him about the restaurant at the aquarium.

"Are you not going with us Dad?" Jack asked, disappointed.

"No buddy. This is for you and Emily. It will only be a day and a half trip. I'll be here when you get back. I have some things I'm going to do to stay busy. But I expect you guys to send me lots of pictures from Emily's phone okay?" he said, hoping that would make the distance between them not so bad. Hotch felt like Emily and Jack both needed this time. And now that Jack had finally been able to leave the crutches behind, he would really be able to enjoy this weekend.

"Okay. We will! Thanks Dad. Aren't you excited Emily?" he asked.

"Yeah! Sure I am buddy! I can't wait." she said with a smile that wasn't quite genuine, only because this was the first Emily had heard about the trip.

Jack went to his room, gathering up items that he wanted to take on the trip, when he ran back to the living room where Hotch and Emily sat. "When are we leaving?" he asked his Dad.

"In the morning buddy." he told him, adding more to his son's excitement that it would be tomorrow.

He ran back to his room and Emily turned to Hotch. "What's this about Aaron?"

"I just thought it would be good for him and for you. I know you'll enjoy it as much, if not more than Jack."

'Why just us?" She looked at him with a raised brow.

"I just thought it may be good for both of you to get away from me for a while." he said truthfully, though his mind focused on plans that he had himself.

"You can't be alone Aaron. Not yet." she reminded him.

'I know. Dave is going to be here in the morning and he will be here until you get back. I've already discussed it with him." he informed her. "Don't worry."

"And what if they get called in on a case? " she asked, covering every basis.

"If they get called in, I'll have Jessica to stay. It's unlikely that that will happen. Just trust me with this okay?" he pleaded.

"Alright" she agreed.


	12. Chapter 12

Emily and Jack left early the next morning to make their way to the aquarium that was only about fifty miles away. Hotch had made them both reservations to spend one night at hotel that was close to most of the best attractions in the area. Jack was so excited and he and Emily had many good conversations on the way. They went to the aquarium, ate out, visited some gifts shops and still made it back to the hotel to watch SpongeBob before bed.

Emily agreed with Hotch that she would call him when they got to their destination and again when their day died down. He wanted Emily to be able to focus on Jack and just have fun. He wanted to be with them but he also had plans of his own. It was already 11:00 a.m. when Hotch woke up. He never slept that late. He was due at a meeting with a friend of Dave's at 12:00 that had guaranteed Hotch by phone, secretly, that he could have his crew of 10 men and women to completely redecorate his and Emily's master bedroom in one day. Dave promised Hotch that the man was reputable. He told him that his place of buiness was in a rough part of town but he was good at what he did.

After fighting with Dave about going to the meeting alone, Hotch pulled up at the building and got out of his vehicle, an Audi Q7, which he had paid dearly for. As he got out of the SUV, he saw only one other car that he assumed was Patrick's, the man he was meeting. As he walked toward the door, a man walked up to him, dressed rather nice.

"Hey...you looking for something man?" the stranger asked. Hotch profiled him in seconds and could tell he was on drugs.

Hotch didn't have time for this guy so he just brushed him off instead of arresting him. "I'm here to meet someone. You must have me confused with someone else" he told him and turned away until he heard a woman's voice.

"Hey baby" she said, to whom Hotch assumed to be 'Joe Cool' standing before him. The lady held on to the drug dealer's arm but couldn't take her eyes off of Hotch.

"Who is this?" she asked with excitement in her voice.

"You like that baby?" the man asked, looking at Hotch, scanning his body with his eyes.

"Oh god yeah!" she answered. "What's your name baby?" she asked looking at Hotch.

"I'm sorry, excuse me" Hotch told them. "Be careful guys" he said as he turned away again.

"Hey wait" the man said lowly as Hotch turned back to them, clearly irritated. "Come on man...you must be hooked up somehow. Look at that ride you got! You gotta be loaded...and you look stressed man. I got something for you and if you're interested, Trixie here does too." he said with a smile.

"No, but thank you" he said, trying his best to just be polite.

"Man..you don't know what you're missing. I got Crack, Heroin, LSD...I got..ahhh" he said noticing Hotch's brow involuntarily rise. "...you like the LSD huh?" he asked and then leaned closer to him. "Well let me tell you something. Trixie here can fuck on some LSD. She will blow your mind..." the guy said, "...and that ain't all, if you know what I'm sayin'. "

Trixie was a beautiful woman and these two, obviously drug users and prostitutes, we're pretty high class but all Hotch could think about was how he felt on LSD while fucking Emily. Then his heart raced and he felt sick to his stomach when he realized he had remembered. What bothered him most was that he liked the memory. It made him semi hard without his consent. His couldn't believe that he was standing there thinking about buying from this man and he hated himself for it. The two stood there waiting as he made his decision.

"Get out of here before I have you both arrested." he said, quickly flashing his badge.

That was all it took and the two were gone from his sight. He felt good. He was proud of himself. It could have been so easy to give in to that fleeting memory of sexual pleasure that he felt that night. The memory was a flash of him fucking Emily from behind, telling her that he 'loved it when she was filled up like this' or something to that effect. He shook the thoughts from his mind and finally made his way into the building. He look at everything from bedding and curtains to furniture and carpet. Hotch told him he wanted it to look like a completely different room and that he wanted relaxing tones, nothing flashy or bold. The meeting only lasted an hour and a half because Hotch knew Emily's taste well. He always listened to her when she talked to him, no matter what it was about.

Hotch picked up Rossi and took him to stay witb him at his house. He just wanted to be at home and Rossi understood that.

"So how are things Aaron?" Dave asked as they rode to the apartment.

"Well, a little better. It's a long road Dave." he told him, tying to hold back his emotions.

"That's to be expected Aaron. Have you talked Emily into seeing someone? Maybe counseling with you?"

"I tried. I mean yes, she has gone with me to therapy and talked about how Jack is doing, about the drugging and even talked about me hitting her but she won't talk about the rape. She hasn't told anyone but you. She doesn't want to discuss it and how can I make her? All of her focus is on us, which shows that she's a remarkable woman, but she needs to talk to someone and she won't talk to me. I told her I wanted to know...you know, what exactly happened but she won't tell me." he said as he turned onto the street and stopped in front of his apartment building.

"I can't imagine what she went through and I can't imagine what you're both going through now but just go slow Aaron. You'll get there. You're both strong and so is that little guy if yours." He said honestly as they took off their seats belts.

"Yeah...I know...but if she doesn't talk to me and I can't remember everything, then I can't help her because I don't know what to say to her...or what not to say. I dont know what to do or what not to do. She won't let me in. I've probably lost her." he said then changing the subject. "Let's go in. The decorators will be here in a few minutes."

"Aaron" Dave said as Hotch reached for the door handle.

"You made a big mistake but you have to understand that alot of this isn't your fault." he said, hoping that his friend could see that he was being truly honest.

"Well, it sure does feel like it" he said, jerking the car door open, ending the conversation. They went inside and waited for the decorators to arrive.

Almost fifteen minutes later the decorator and his crew showed up. They were in and out of the house in 8 hours. The room was absolutely beautiful and Hotch and Dave had no doubt that Emily would love it.

"They did a really good job" Dave spoke proudly to Hotch who was sitting on couch with him, both of them having a scotch.

"They did. Thank you for your help Dave" he took another sip of his drink.

"Anytime. Glad I could help out" he replied, then pausing. "Aaron...you do realize that Emily may take all of this the wrong way don't you?"

"What are you saying Dave?"

"Well...she may think this is all about getting her back into your bed" he said carefully as he noticed Hotch becoming bothered by his theory.

"Dave, this is about her not even being able to walk into what used to be our bedroom. She knows me better than that" he said, reassuring himself.

Dave looked at Hotch and said nothing but he didn't have to. His facial expression gave away his thoughts.

"Dammit Dave. Look, I know what I've done but if I'm going to make changes, she's going to have to trust my positive actions." he told him. "I'm doing this for her, not for me."

"I..." he said pointing to himself, "...know that. But she doesn't. You're rushing her Aaron. She told me that you've been pressuring her." he said when Hotch jerked his gaze up from the floor. "You've got to back off a little. This thing with the room? That's fine but attacking her in the kitchen isn't."

"She told you about that?" he asked, clearly unhappy as his mind soared with thoughts of how to handle this when she got home. Even now, after what he had done to her, he still couldn't push away the near craving to reprimand her.

"She needs to talk to someone Aaron" he said, standing up for Emily.

"Yes, she needs to talk to me about our personal life, not our friends" His frustration was visible to Dave and in an instant, Dave was forced to move away quickly as Hotch threw his tumbler across the room, shattering it against the wall.

"There it is!" Dave said as he got up from the couch. "There's that temper that's gonna ruin you Aaron! And possibly the rest of your family! Get your shit together Aaron! I know Emily Prentiss and she isn't going to keep taking this shit from you. She'll leave your ass and you'll be that lonely man after all. Is that what you want? Is that what you want for Jack?" he lashed out as only a good friend would do.

"No. No it isn't...but..." he began when Dave stepped closer to him.

"There is no 'but' Aaron" he said authoritavly. "Get. It. Together." he told him, hoping he had finally gotten through to him.

As he sit there taking in the man's wisdom, he realize maybe this is what he needed; his friend of many years to put him in his place. He knew Dave was right. Emily had already told him that she wasn't sure she was going to be able to hang on to their relationship. There was no doubt in Hotch's mind that Dave knew about not getting second chances. He'd lost Carolyn and he didn't get that second chance. As much as he understood that, it was hard for Hotch to handle it all. The lingering effects of the drug, nearly losing Jack, and possibly losing his relationship with Emily was just too much. It didn't help matters that he was sexual deprived. He tried to push the least concerning factor in all of this away but he couldn't fully do that. He wanted to hold her. He needed to feel her. He needed to be inside of her again and the fight against that need was becoming increasingly difficult to accept.

The conversation ended then and there and after cleaning up the glass he had had thrown, he and Dave turned in for the night.

Hotch still hadn't heard from Emily so he called her before lying down. On the third ring, she answered the call.

"Hey, how are you? Did you get the pictures?" she asked.

"I'm doing alright. Yes I did. They're great, thank you. How are you and Jack? Did you both have a good time?" he asked curiously.

"Yes we did. I'll let Jack tell you about most of the trip. We were watching SpongeBob and I was going to call you when the show was over or when Jack fell alsleep. I didn't know which may happen first because he's exhausted." she told him.

"I'm sure he is. I'm sure you are too. Has his leg been feeling alright?" he asked as he undressed himself as he spoke.

"Yes, it's been doing fine. We stopped to rest a few times today." she informed him.

"Thank you baby" he said as he laid on the guest room bed. He had covered the bed with a huge comforter so Emily's bed wouldn't smell like him. He didn't want to cause her the smallest amount of trigger of any kind. He wouldn't dare sleep in their new bed without her and Rossi refused to sleep anywhere but the couch.

"So what have you been up to today?" she asked, clueless as to how he had spent his day.

"Oh just...cleaning up a little, watched the History Channel with Dave. We ordered take out. That's about it. It was definitely a party." he said with a giggle that put butterflies in her tummy.

She laughed as well and then there was an awkward silence which Emily eventually ended.

"I miss you" she said simply as his eyes filled with tears.

"Em, I miss you too. So much." he replied with a quiver that Emily didn't miss.

"You okay?" she asked with concern.

"Yeah...I'm okay" he said sweetly. "Is Jack still awake?"

"Umm..." she began, leaning over to get a good look at Jack's face as he laid on the bed beside her. "...no he's knocked out."

"Okay kiss him goodnight for me. Tell him I love him and I'll see you guys tomorrow." he told her as he took his medication without water.

"I sure will. We should be there around noon okay?"

"Sounds good. Be careful." he added.

"Always baby." She sat there for a moment wondering if maybe he didn't want to hang up while, at the same moment, he was thinking that she probably didn't want to talk to him for long. Their conversations always seemed to turn into a fight and he knew that he was greatly to blame.

"Goodnight Aaron" she said softly.

"I love you" he rushed out before she hung up.

"I still love you too Aaron. Don't doubt that okay?" she said with hope that he never would think something like that.

"Okay. I won't" he answered simply, feeling for the first time since all of this started, that he may be given his chance at redemption.


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning, Hotch and Rossi had a couple of coffees and then Rossi left for the office to do a few things. Hotch had told him that Emily would be there in a few minutes and that he would be fine alone for a while. Rossi blackmailed him into taking his medication in front of him like a child or he wouldn't leave the apartment, so he did.

Hotch made sure everything was perfect in the bedroom for when Emily and Jack got home. He even cooked lunch for everyone and made sure it was a favorite to both of them. He decided on baked chicken, rice, and broccoli, which Jack surprisingly loved.

He was trying. He thought alot about what Rossi, , and most of all Emily, had said to him and what they said, he knew he needed to hear. He laid on the bed the night before, coming to the realization that his guilt was consuming him. He couldn't and didn't want to live with this guilt anymore.

Thirty minutes later, Emily and Jack arrived home, taking in the wonderful aroma that filled the apartment.

"Dad!" Jack yelled, running to his father.

"Hey! Did you have a good time with Emily?" He asked as Jack handed him a plastic bag that weighed approximately three pounds. Emily moved to give Hotch a quick kiss because she knew she wasn't going to get a word in edgewise at the moment. He returned the smile to her as Jack began.

"Yeah! We had so much fun and Emily got asked out on a date!" he informed his dad and then giggled.

"Oh really?" he replied hastily, looking at Emily, his jealousy showing.

"Yeah...but she told him off, right Emily?"

"Yes I did Jack" she said, patting herself on the back, looking at Hotch for her well deserved respect from him. He gave it to her. He let her know with his eyes that he trusted her.

"So what's in the bag here?" Hotch asked peeking inside.

"That's for you. I bought it at a fish store and we thought you would like it. Open it!" he said excitedly. Hotch opened up the bag and pulled out a paper weight with a picture of fish inside the globe-like suvenior. "Do you like it?"

"Of course I do. It's great...let's see what it says inside." he said as he held it into a better light. Hotch read the quote aloud and halfway through reading it, his voice broke as he looked at Emily.

'The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in it's loyalty to each other.'

"It's a quote about chic...chic..li.." he tried to say.

"Cichlid fish" Emily said, helping him pronounce the word as she looked at Hotch.

"Yeah...that kind of fish." he began again. "They protect their family. They will take over almost a whole aquarium to protect their family." Jack said, educating his father.

"That's very cool Jack" he said, admiring his gift. "Thank you son" he said as he hugged him tightly. "Well I cooked lunch. Are you guys hungry?"

"Yes!" Jack exclaimed.

"Maybe a little. Somehow I think the smell may increase my appetite a little." Emily said, smiling at Hotch. She could see that he was feeling better, at least somewhat. The place was clean like he had told her last night and he had cooked a meal. Maybe he was at the point, mentally and emotionally that she would be able to talk to him without confrontations left and right.

Hotch doubted that Emily would go into the bedroom and he wanted to keep Jack in his sight so he wouldn't see the new bedroom before Emily did. The bedroom door was closed but he didn't want to take any chances.

"You guys can just wash your hands here in the kitchen because it's getting cold." he told them, trying to keep them nearby.

The meal was better than Hotch expected or maybe he was just finally hungry for once. Emily and Jack thanked him for the meal then Jack went to his room. Hotch waited until he was out of sight and then he took Emily's hand as she began cleaning the dishes.

"Leave that for now. I wanna show you something." he said pulling her hand easily as he walked toward the hallway.

"What is it? What are you doing Aaron?" she asked as she reluctantly let him walk her further. "Aaron please..." she began with a hint of fear in her voice.

Hotch stopped in the hallway, not letting go of her hand but easing his hold. "Emily, I can promise you with everything that I am that I will never hurt you again." he said truthfully. "It's nothing like that. Come on." he said sweetly and she studied his eyes before following him to their bedroom. "Close your eyes" he said and she immediately spoke up.

"No...no...I can't do that. Just open the door Hotch."

"Okay" he said as he opened the door slowly and turned on the light. He looked at Emily's expression as she walked into the room, unable to tell if she liked it or not.

"What the hell?" she asked quietly, completely shocked as she entered the room further.

The room was completely different. The furniture, wallpaper, carpet, curtains; everything. There was the lightest shade of beige and off white with a hint of light blue in the bedding and the curtains. Everything smelled new and the furniture shined. The carpet was like clouds under her feet and there was a huge mirror on the wall that Emily had always wanted, which was surrounded by small round light bulbs. The mirror hung over a beautiful vanity that reminded her of her mother's and as she took it all in, her eyes filled with tears; tears that she wasn't sure were from her shock or her suspicion as to why he suddenly gave their bedroom a makeover they had talked about before.

"Do you like it?" he asked, excitedly.

"It's beautiful. Really it is but...why Aaron? And how could we afford this?" she asked quickly.

"It's a long story but Dave helped me get a deal and he wanted to pitch in too." he explained with a smile. "You know how he is Em."

"He helped?" she said as Hotch saw her frustration by rolling her eyes; something she was known to do often and something that he had punished her for numerous times.

"Did you roll your eyes at me?" he asked firmly.

"Aaron...I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't even notice that I did it." she said, thinking of running for the door. Jack was here and she knew he'd never do anything like that with him here, would he?

"Well you need to keep it under control" he informed her. "It's rude."

"I will. I promise." she said, knowing that even though he couldn't punish her right now, if he wished to at all, he would have told her so. He never did anything like that when Jack was home. Sometimes Emily would have to wait days to receive her punishment if Jack was at home when the insubordination occurred and that was torture on Emily, wondering for days what punishment he was going to deem fit for her.

"So what do you think about the room?" he asked, internally pushing away the desire to punish her for using such a rude gesture at him.

"I wanna know why you did it." she replied firmly.

"Because you couldn't even step into this room Em. That's not fair to you and I wanted to fix that." he told her.

She walked around the room, then stopping to stand in front of him. "You're sure?"

"Sure about wha..." he began and stopped when he remember his conversation with Dave. "Do you really think I expect you to move back into this room with me? Just like that? Just so we can be in the same bed?"

She looked into his eyes and wanted to believe him, but after everything, she needed more to be able to gain all of that trust back. "I...I don't know Aaron. I don't know what to say."

" Well the answer is no Emily...that's not why I did this." he said, walking away from her. He was heartbroken but he had to remember that he had caused a lot of this mess and he was going to have to be patient and gain her trust back that had been shattered. She knew the drugging wasn't his fault but she couldn't help but think 'If he hadn't stopped by the bar, this never would have happened.' She knew however that the idea of the punishment was all her idea.

He stood in the room, looking out of the window when he heard her come closer.

"I'm sorry. I know you put alot of thought into this and it is beautiful but I'm not ready to move back into the room Aaron." she explained. "This isn't going to fix everything."

"I know it won't. I wasn't asking you to Emily. I honestly wasn't. I wouldn't ask you to do that until you're ready." he said. "As a matter of fact, I'm not going to ever ask you. It's going to be your decision alone, do you understand? "

"Yes...thank you. That's means alot Aaron" she said truthfully, when Jack knock on the door frame.

"Wow! Who did this to your room?" he asked, excitedly.

"I had some people to come and fix it up for Emily. Do you like it?" he asked Jack.

"It's too girly for me but I like it." he admitted with a smile to Emily. "Hey Emily, now that you have a new bed, your back won't hurt and you'll be able to sleep with Dad again!" he said innocently.

Emily looked at Hotch, clearly at a loss for words at Jack's proclamation.

"Not yet buddy. This is a new bed but we haven't received the new mattress yet." he told him, apparently saving the day. "Jack, why don't you go unpack your things, separate your clean and dirty clothes and put them in the hamper okay?"

"Okay" he said dreadfully, but made his way to his bedroom.

Emily sat on the bed and looked around the room as Hotch moved to sit beside her.

"I need to talk to you about something else." he said softly.

"Okay" She waited for whatever was about to come.

"I know Jack was gone last night, and I'll spend some time with him tonight, but I need him to go to Jessica's tomorrow night."

"Why?"

He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts of the best way to ask her what had been on his mind for days. He knew there was no other way to put it to where it wouldn't shock her.

"The guilt...it's tearing me up inside Emily and I've tried everything I can to deal with it and accept the things that I can't change but it's not working. I know that you have anger bottled up inside that you aren't letting out. That isn't any better for you than it is for me to hold in this guilt. None of it is good for us or Jack." he said, confusing her further.

"What are you suggesting Aaron?" she asked, waiting curiosuly.

He took a deep breath and released it. "I want you to punish me."


	14. Chapter 14

"What?" Emily was shocked to say the least at his proposition. "Aaron..."

"Just hear me out okay?" he pleaded.

"Alright" she sighed, giving in, tired from the trip home.

"During the times before, excluding the last time..." he said carefully, "...tell me how you felt afterwards as far as being punished."

She hesitated. "Better. I've told you that before. I mean...I felt like I deserved the punishment when I screwed up." she said.

"See..." he began.

"But that's diff..." she tried.

"No it isn't" he rushed out. "There is no difference between you feeling the way you did about your failures or irresponsibilities and me feeling this guilt for mine. I know I didn't voluntarily take the drug but since it all happened, this guilt is eating me up inside to where I can't eat well, I can't sleep, and I can't work yet. I'm hardly getting better Em and if I don't get it together, I could lose my job." he said truthfully.

As she listened, her heart raced at the thought of punishing him, not for sexual reasons, but just because she didn't know if she could dare do what he was asking of her. She didn't even want to do it.

"Aaron I can't do that. After everything that has happened, I can't believe you're asking me." she said, both of their voices staying quiet. It was the first calm conversation they'd had lately that didn't end up in a fight, or at least so far.

"Emily..." he moved to his knees on the floor in front of her. "No matter what you decide about this, I will never punish you again. You wanted it to end and it has. I promise you that."

Air was drawn from her as she heard his words. "You don't know what that means to me. But...how do I know that your temper or a side effect from the LSD won't cause you to become angry enough to do it anyway? I want to trust you Aaron but just knowing that you can physically overtake me at any moment, scares me. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around you or you'll get angry. I hate living like that."

"I know you do you and I don't want you to live that way. I don't want Jack to either. I've been taking the meds and Dr. Neil said that he believes that he can get me off of them one day soon, but there will always be some pills here." he assured her.

She sat there for a moment trying to sort everything out in her head. "If I did do it, and I'm only saying 'if', I don't see how I would be able to actually cause you pain, not that I want to anyway."

"Emily, you're physically stronger than you think you are. Besides there are plenty of things out there that would work." he said, knowing a thing or two about bondage and discipline accessories since he was the one that bought everything he'd ever used.

"I don't know Aaron. I've been on the other side and I would hate to do this and then it cause you more pain emotionally than you're going through now." she said sincerely.

"Did it cause you emotional pain? I mean...before that night?" he asked.

"No. It made me realize my mistakes and made me a better person. But it wasn't always the punishment itself. Alot of what you said to me during punishment or before forced me to look at things differently. I guess the punishment does cause you to watch your actions, similar to walking on eggshells, but it's not the same because when you do improve your actions, you just feel better. The difference between you and me is that you have always had that self control and I haven't and..." she trailed off.

"Then you can have it now." he said, trying to simplify the situation. He needed this. He wanted to feel what she had been through because he felt that he deserved alot more than she had been given when she had been reprimanded. "Please?" he begged.

"I'll think about it" she said, covering his hand with hers. "But I can't do it tomorrow Aaron. That's too soon." she said as looked around the room once more.

"Thank you." he said.

"Sure." she said with smile, turning toward the bedroom door. "I better go check on Jack." she said, looking back at him. "The room is beautiful Aaron. Thank you." she said as she reached the door.

"I wanted to do it." he said with a smile. "I'll be there soon and we can look at all of the pictures from your trip."

"Yeah...sounds good. I'll get the laptop." she said, then walked out the door.

That night Emily tossed and turned thinking about everything Hotch had discussed with her. Could she really do this to him? Would it do any good? She couldn't imagine inflicting pain on him and wasn't even sure that she could do something that would give him the restitution he was looking for. She knew he was right; she did have alot of anger and frustration inside. She felt degraded by what he had done. He stripped away her dignity, just as the ass in the interrogation room had done to his victims. He had also scarred the love that the two of them fought so hard to have. Though it wasn't all his fault, she knew he had began to change his ways during punishment before that night. That was her whole reason behind breaking the contract. He had gotten out of control with it and had become so much more of a sexual person because of it. So in turn, she felt guilty for initiating it.

Hotch laid on the living room sofa, setting his watch alarm, so he could get up before Jack to avoid any further questions. He hoped that Emily would think about what he'd asked of her and truly give it alot of thought. He knew it was alot to ask of her but he also knew that she needed to let go of her anger somehow as much as he needed to receive reprimandation for what he had done.

A week and a half later, things were somewhat better at home, with still a few outbursts from Hotch and long discussions with Emily, one of which involved Emily finally telling Hotch what happened that night. She told him everything. He cried many tears as he listened to the events of that night unfold. There were tears from her too but no raised voices and plenty of comforting words from each of them. Things had improved but the guilt still ate at Hotch, even more so since Emily explained what he had done. She knew telling him would only add to his guilt but he wanted to know. The conversation did help him to understand more of what she was going through. He knew more of what to say, more of what to do and especially more of what not to do. He hated frightening her when all he wanted to do was comfort her but he understood more now than ever that she needed that time and he had done as he promised, giving her just that.

Hotch had passed the evaluation to go back to work but still was not allowed in the field. Just being back at the office was exciting for him. He was getting stir crazy at home and he worried about the team constantly. He knew they had handled cases without him before. He assumed it was just the boss in him. Noone on the team or even in the FBI knew what had happened in Hotch and Emily's bedroom. They knew only about the shooting and the team were the only one's aware of how Emily received the bruised cheek. Rossi explained what needed to be explained and most importantly that Hotch's demeanor was caused by the LSD and that was the end of the discussion.

Hotch made his way to the coffee machine in the kitchenette close by the bullpen where Garcia was preparing her third cup of coffee for the day.

"Hey...it's good to have you back Hotch. Believe it or not, we've missed you around here." she said with that positive tone and that perky personality.

"Thank you. It's good to be back Penelope." Hotch replied, fixing himself a cup of tea. "It's been different, that's for sure." he said, trying his best to bring out the boss that she'd remember.

The silence came faster than he had expected but once again, Penelope saved the day.

"Tough times huh?" she asked sweetly, clearly trying not to meddle.

He let his eyes meet hers and even though he didn't want to dicuss the subject at all, he just couldn't be rude to her.

"Yeah pretty tough but we'll get through it." he said, giving her his best smile.

She could tell he was trying to kindly avoid the conversation. She touched him on the shoulder as she walked past him slowly.

"Just take it one day at a time boss man. It'll all come together." she said, as he remembered Emily's same words beckoning him not to end his life. "Just know that I'm here...we're all here." she added.

"Thank you Penelope." he said sincerely.

"Wild horses Sir." was her only reply as she walked back to her desk.

After three days on a case in California, the team were given a case on their own territory. Hotch was able to help alot more on this case and he fell right back into his shoes.

"You doing okay Aaron?" Emily asked as she stood in front of his desk.

"Yeah...I feel good." He said immediately as she gave him a suspicious glare.

"Really Em, I'm doing better than I expected."

"Well I think you're doing great. I just wanted to know how you felt." she said with a smile. "I guess I'll get back to work. I just wanted to check on you...I mean, I don't mean it like that. Just..."

"I know what you mean baby. Thank you." he said, then stood up as she started to walk away. "Emily?"

"Yeah?" She said, turning back to him standing two feet in front of her. "God...you scared me."

"I'm sorry. I've been doing better about that." he said proudly.

"I know. It's alright. What did you need?" she asked.

"Have you made your decision yet?" he asked carefully.

She stood there for a moment and just looked into his eyes. "Are you absolutely sure that's what you not only want, but need?" she added, wanting to make sure he had looked at this from every angle.

He held his breath as he realize she was actually giving it serious thought, then released it slowly.

"Yes. I'm sure." he said, knowing he had never craved anything more than this punishment besides the woman standing in front of him.

She stood there searching his eyes, never breaking the stare. Suddenly he felt the butterflies that she had felt a million times over as her demeanor changed completely.

"Make plans for Jack and be in the guest room at 8:00." she said sternly and walked out of his office door.

Hotch went back to his desk chair and sat down, her harsh tone echoing in his head. He sat there realizing that in 4 hours, he was going to be forced to give up every ounce of control he'd ever had with her, as her boss and her lover.


	15. Chapter 15

Aaron Hotchner had never been nervous in his life to attend any type of meeting concerning his job but as he sat on the couch in his living room, he couldn't stop looking at his watch. He was told to be in the guest room at 8:00 and Emily had told him after Jessica picked up Jack, that he should expect to be treated the same way she had always been, excluding that night, if this idea of his was going to work at all.

Emily knew that she would have to be harsh with him, and after much research about BDSM, she stopped by one of the adult stores in the area on her way home. Hotch had no clue she had gone by the store, thinking she was just later getting home after a quick chat with the girls after work. Emily went straight to the check out counter, told the assistant exactly what she needed, figuring that she would never step foot in the store again. She didn't ask for certain items, she just told the attendant that she needed a little something to 'straighten her man out', stating that he was a big guy and pretty tough. The attendant helped Emily with her items, telling her that every man had a breaking point and that if she played with him long enough, she'd find out what that breaking point was.

She decided to leave the items in the car during her first entrance through the door. She would sneak to get them later so Hotch would know nothing about them. If she was going to do this, she was going to do it right. She had given this alot of thought and after reading in detail about everything that BDSM consists of, she understood more of where Hotch was coming from. She read about the needs, desires and control that doms and subs have and saw a huge similarity to the words she and he had tried to explain to one another. Maybe this is what he needed. What Emily didn't realize at the time was that it would indeed be what she had needed also.

Hotch sat on the couch as his mind filled with thoughts, one crossing the other, about what she was going to do tonight. He wasn't really scared but he did notice that his heart was beating unusally fast. He and Emily had fixed themselves a glass or two of scotch earlier and he was starting to feel the effects. He felt a little more relaxed than before but he still kept checking the time. He walked into the kitchen and poured himself another drink. He stood there for a moment or two, reflecting on everything. He knew it wasn't too late to change his mind about the punishment but Emily told him that if he came through the door, there was no going back. He swallowed the last of his scotch and rinsed his glass. He looked down at his watch and had a small case of panic when he read the time. 8:02.

Fuck.

This feeling in his gut was new to him. If he wasn't going to be tied up, which he knew he would, he wouldn't be quite as apprehensive. He made his way down the hall to the guest room where he saw the low light under the closed door. He opened the door, now wearing his jeans and black polo shirt and Adidas shoes.

"It's 8:03 Aaron. I warned you not to be late. Close the door." she told him, wearing jeans that hugged every curve and a tight pink v-neck t-shirt.

"I'm sor..." he began.

"Do not talk. Take off your clothes. All of them." she said firmly and his hands went to his belt buckle immediately. He undressed himself completely and stood there waiting on her next order as he noticed the velcrow straps and a pair of handcuffs attached to the bed. She walked over to stand in front of him and as she looked over his body, she couldn't help lingering her gaze. He saw her pause and thought that she may stop. She wasn't used to acting this way, being in control and being domineering. He thought she may need help, so he spoke up.

"Emily..."

Her name was the only sound he produced before an incredibly hard smack came across his face, burning his face along with her palm.

"You will address me as 'Mistress'. I don't want you to call me anything that you will later call me outside of this room. Do you understand? " she said, having to look up to meet his gaze. That wouldn't last long. Soon she would be towering over him.

"Yes...Mistress" he said shocked at her action as he watched her walk to the 'toy' box they owned. She needed a couple of items from the box but she had a few items of her own.

Hotch was right with his theory that Emily was having a difficult time but she shut him up quickly because she needed to do this without his help and thought that he needed to take this punishment as she had always done.

She took the blindfold out of the box and turned back to face him.

"Get on your knees." He did so immediately and she stepped behind him and slipped the blindfold over his eyes.

"Mistress?" he asked, respectful with his tone.

"What is it?" She asked hurriedly as he had done before.

"My safe word?" he asked, knowing he was being unfair after everything that had happened. He couldn't stop himself from asking, not truly knowing what she had planned. He knew that if she could take a beating like she did in Colorado, what type of one could she give?

She leaned closer to his ear. "I didn't need one. Neither do you." she whispered.

He said nothing. What could he say? He knew she was right. He had broken her down as low as a woman could be and she still stood strong. He knew that whatever he had punished her for before didn't compare to what he had done to her and he felt that he deserved whatever she gave him.

"Hands behind your back." she ordered.

With his hands behind his back, completely naked and on his knees, he was getting a taste of how she had felt before, having only visions of what may be going on in the room. He heard her shuffling around the room and it took everything in him not to speak.

He kept his hands in place and when he looked up to approximately where she would be standing, she snapped at him.

"Head down" she said loudly; louder than she'd planned to as he felt her fingers at his wrists and the cold metal cuffs that one of them had carried every day. She tucked the key safely away and moved to stand in front of him. He could sense her standing there. She slowly unbuttoned her pants and then he heard the zipper slide down. His breath hitched and though she didn't miss it, she said nothing. She just continued to pull her pants down, discarding them to the side. She stepped closer to his face and grabbed his hair roughly as she pulled her silk panties far over, uncovering her center.

"Put your mouth on me. Now." she said, pulling his face foward until he had no choice. He couldn't believe this was happening and couldn't comprehend why. She wouldn't even let her touch him around the house, besides a peck on the cheek during a hello or goodbye.

His mouth went to her pussy and when his hot tongue touched her core, she couldn't believe the feeling. It seemed so long since she had felt this much arousal, if any.

She smelled so good and he became instanly hard. She pushed him downward, which in his opinion, gave him better access when she moved with him as he sat back on his heels. He felt guilty even now because of the thoughts in his head about having sex with her. This was supposed to be punishment for both had learned alot on the job about sexual needs for both men and women and he realized that he was perfectly human to have these urges.

He gave her lick after lick and when she parted her legs more and pushed his head forward again, he pushed his tongue inside her opening.

"Stop!" she said simply, but authoritavly. She stepped away from him and adjusted her panties. She didn't necessarily want him to stop but she wasn't going to give him one ounce of control.

"Stand up" she said, taking his upper arm and leading him to the side of the bed. "Lay down...on your stomach." she told him as she gave him a light push forward. He laid on his stomach and moved himself to the middle of the bed as she guided him. He felt her hands at his.

"I'm going to take these off" she said, taking the small silver key from her bra then releasing the cuffs. "Arms above your head."

He raised his arms allowing her to bind him to the bed. She placed the cuffs around his wrists once more and then used another pair of cuffs to secure him to the bed. That's the moment that he knew he was at her command.

She grabbed his right foot roughly. There were no words needed from her because he knew this procedure well. She tied all four of his limbs to the bed and walked to the other side of the room to retrieve an item and walked back to the bed. She stared at his perfect ass. His back muscles appeared well in the dim light as he stirred around, not quite strugging. He was truly beautiful. He could wear a suit well but his naked form, front and back, was an art.

She stood beside the bed with one of his leather belts in her hand. It wasn't wet, but it was one of the most flexible ones and she thought it was the best choice. In her other hand was one of his ties. She moved closer to him, sitting the belt down on the bed, making sure he heard the buckle jingle. She laid the tie around her neck and tied it to perfection as she had done for him on many rushed mornings when he 'just couldn't get it right'. She did however let it hang loosely, the knot sitting between her cleavage; something that always made Hotch rock hard.

This wasn't for spite and Emily didn't feel that way. Maybe it was a hint of excitement that she felt because she knew in the past that little sounds; handcuffs, velcrow, vibration, etc. at one time made her anticipate what he was going to do next. Maybe she just wanted to make him feel good again because she missed him, or maybe she wanted to tease him like he had done her so many times. All she did know was that he was not going to cum tonight.

Hotch heard the clinking of a belt buckle and quickly assumed it was one of his belts. He laid there wondering exactly how much he could take of what she had to dish out. He was pretty certain that he could handle whatever punishment she gave him but tied to this bed, completely helpless, made him question his strengths, whether they be sexual or otherwise.

"Why am I doing this Aaron?" she asked. After pausing to give him time to answer, she grabbed his hair in her hand. "You need to give me an answer before you take on a little more than you bargained for Aaron." she said as she held his face up from the sheets by the hair of his head.

She had a good grip on his hair and though he had honestly never imagined seeing her quite like this, he was beginning to like it. It even crossed his mind to take the reprocussion for speaking just to tell her that this wasn't going to work. It wasn't going to draw him out of this darkness he felt about himself. All that this was doing was turning him on. He wondered if a one-time punishment would do it but he knew that if it didn't, he couldn't ask her to do it again, so he let her continue without making a sound. If it wasn't going to help him, he was just going to give it a chance to help her. He would never hold it against her for doing this either.

"You're doing this because I need you to." he said as he moved his wrists around, his head laying to the side.

"Why Aaron?" she asked more forcefully.

"Because I've hurt you and Jack" he said honestly, realizing that she let him away with not saying her name.

"And what else?" she asked as she ran the end of the belt over his back and ass.

"That's all that matters to me." he said from his heart as Emily's breath hitched.

She was fighting within herself now. His last answer filled her heart with new hope that their love wasn't on the road to disaster. She didn't want to do this. Part of her wanted to hold him and part of her wanted to scream her thoughts of 'it didn't matter when...' at him. She knew in her heart that he didn't mean to do the things that he did, but in his own eyes, he still felt responsible and if he felt that this would help, then she needed to continue...for him.

"And being late" she reminded him sarcastically.

"Yes Mistress" he replied.

There was a moment of silence as Emily moved to stand right beside the bed. Hotch laid relatively still but found it hard not to try to relieve some of the pain in his cock by rubbing himself against the sheet.

"I'm going to strike you 4 times with your belt. Count them." she demanded.

"I will Mistress" he said, his voice trembling a little. She knew he was aroused and right now a small part of her enjoyed making him ache.

He laid there waiting for the initial contact, curious if he would be able to withstand her strength with a belt. He felt the first sting on the back of his upper thigh but didn't move a muscle. Emily knew he'd expect the first lash to be on his back, wanting him to be off guard.

"One" he spoke softly, which was loud enough for her to hear.

The next thing he knew, the belt came across him again, striking his ass. He jerked a little but nothing significant. Emily saw the red mark on his ass but knew it didn't compare to her own in the past.

"Two" he said, pulling at the restraints unconciously. He tried to relax but this was turning him on more than he assumed. Actually he hadn't given it much thought at all. His only reasons for doing this were to help him with his guilt and to let her have the release she unknowingly needed. He knew. He'd been in her position and when he was upset with her, the punishment always made that temper of his fade, whether he realized it or not.

"Three!" he said louder after Emily had raised the belt over her shoulder and whipped him harder than before, though he still barely was effected. She watched as he rubbed himself against the sheets, trying to relieve the ache. A second later the belt came across his back, leaving a mark at least eight inches long, as she lashed out at him.

"No Aaron! That's not what this is about, is it?" she asked.

"No Mistress." he agreed. "I'm sorry Mistress. I can't just stop the ache." he said sarcastically.

She knew then that the belt wasn't having an effect and though she had mixed feelings about this, which Aaron was unwillingly stirring up, she continued.

"I can see this isn't having the effect you need is it Aaron?"

He paused but for only a second. "No Mistress. It isn't."

"I'll be right back." she told him assuredly and walked out the door.

As he laid there on the bed naked, forced to wait for her, he knew why she had left him there. It was about the anticipation that she knew he was feeling. He was enjoying this too much and she knew it. She had whipped him with his own belt and when she felt that wasn't enough, she left. He knew whatever she was doing, it was going to consist of him having a harsher punishment.

She arrived about five minutes later with the two items she purchased earlier, seeing him lying in basically the same position, knowing that while she was gone, he had tried to relieve that ache of his.

"This is going to hurt Aaron. I won't lie." she told him honestly as she raised the tone of light with the dimmer switch. With what she was about to do, she needed to be able to see well. He may have believed he deserved this and she may have too, to a point, but she was in no way out to cause him permanent damage in any way.

"Are you ready?" she said as she grabbed the handle of whip and held it on top of her shoulder, letting the long piece of leather trail down over her back and ass.


	16. Chapter 16

"Yes Mistress " he said, gripping the brass rungs in his hands.

"Count. I'm not sure how many you'll need."

"Yes Mistress" he said nervously.

He heard the whip slice the air a second before it felt as if it had sliced his skin. It hadn't. Emily saw the large red mark appear on his back at the moment he spoke through his teeth.

"One." he said loudly as his grip around the brass lingered on.

"Does it hurt?" she asked, knowing the answer.

"Yes Mistress. It does." he replied honestly, though it wasn't unbearable. He released his assault on the headboard and she took notice to that.

"Good." was all she said before another smack filled the room, striking his ass and lower back. Emily moved around the bed to get a better look at his back when she saw the blood.

"Aaron...you're bleeding." she told him, feeling a twist in her gut. "Do you want me to stop this part?" she couldn't help but ask.

"No Mistress" he said as his eyes became watery under the blindfold. He didn't want to let on that it hurt so bad but his voice gave it away.

"Aaron..." she said, clearly in a voice of concern as her emotions took over and he heard her becoming weaker.

"No!" he shouted but then repeated his words softly. "No Mistress. Don't stop." He knew he needed this because he could already feel a little of the guilt being released with each tremendous sting. He knew a whip could hurt anyone, even not used harshly like this, but he never realized she could be this forceful.

She took took a deep breath and let it out as she attempted to pull herself together. She blinked her tears away and wondered if she was going to be able to get through this. If she looked at the situation from a Dom's point of view, Hotch was doing well as her submissive. She never thought there would come a day when she would be in control of her Unit Chief, but as she looked down at him lying there naked and helpless, she couldn't ignore the rush it gave her.

"Two...ahh..." he released, as he felt the pain move through the back of his thigh and ass as she drew blood once more. Emily felt her own pain. It was so hard to do this to him but she assumed that this part would be the most effective and she could already see the pain in his face.

She brought the four foot whip across his back harder, watching the tip curve around his hip.

"Em!" he yelled in pain. "Mistress...three!" he added quickly, and as soon as he caught his breath, the hardest strike yet was given.

"Mm...Ahhh...four!" he shouted, realizing that he couldn't take the whip any harder. Not only did he not call her Mistress, but Em. She had always loved it when he called her Em. She wanted to keep this moment separated from the future. The fact that he had punished her greatly for her inconsistently in this room made her upset but the sound of him beginning to cry aloud broke her. She listened and knew that his tears weren't from physical pain, but emotional. The brass and metal clashed against one another as he began to feel panicked. It all hit him. All at once. How he had treated Emily before, during and after the drugging. How he had come down so harshly on Jack lately. How he had not taken his medication. How he had done the unthinkable to the woman he loves. All of these things were shown so clearly to him through this pain and it consumed him.

She stared at his body, looking at the marks she had inflicted on him and when he tightened his grip on the headboard, she knew he was waiting for more. It felt shamefully good to her to have him in this position but she was fighting within herself. She wasn't sure why; if it was her anger making this act intriguing or if it was a just because of her sexual attraction to him. As he cried truly remorseful tears, she wiped her own silent tears from her cheeks. His cries were the only sound in the room aside from metal on brass. As she began to walk around the room, the deep darkness he was in faded somewhat and he began, once again, guessing where she was and what she was going to do.

Emily came to the realization that he probably wanted her to continue but she couldn't do it. Having Hotch tied to a bed was very intriguing to her but tying him up and whipping him like this wasn't. He did do things to her even before the drugging that she didn't feel she could ever do to him. He loved that control. He fed on it. But it wasn't like that for her. If he wanted more punishment, she was going to have to give it to him another way.

"Turn over Aaron. Lay on your back" she said softly, calming herself down still.

He did as she asked and he felt the fire in each of the whelped areas on his back, ass and thigh as he moved against the sheets. Still being blindfolded, he waited patiently as she saw that his tears had soaked the blindfold. She walked to the side of the bed, took her t-shirt off and dropped it on a nearby table. She touched the side of his face and he jumped.

"I'm going to take the blindfold off now." she said, pushing it up over his forehead slowly. His eyes adjusted and he took in the sight of his beautiful girlfriend before him, not saying a word.

She saw the he pain in his eyes as he looked into hers. "No more of the whip. Do you want to continue?" she asked.

"Yes Mistress. Thank you." he replied, breathing heavily.

As she stood at the bed in her bra and panties only, she could hear total gratification in his 'thank you' and knew that what she had done did have an effect. If for no other reason, she knew that he had not looked anywhere but her eyes since she uncovered his. Until now. The first thing he saw was his tie. He looked at the fabric against her neck and followed it to the knot that laid between her breasts. His erection he had lost earlier was creeping back and he found it extremely difficult to lay there and not be able to touch her soft skin.

Watching her walk around the bed to the other side of the room in her underwear was a beautiful sight and his cock was becoming harder by the second and as she looked back at his body,she noticed.

"Aaron, you will not be allowed much, if any, sexual pleasure tonight but you experience the pain of craving it." she said as his facial expression changed to surprise.

"I understand Mistress." he said, but he didn't understand as he watched her come back to the bed holding a silicone cock ring in her hand.

"Em...Mistress please." he asked politely but began wiggling his body, finally becoming frustrated with her actions. The pain on the backside of his body reminded him of the pain he had caused his family and it was a reminder that this wasn't about his pleasure.

Emily moved to sit on the bed, putting both of her hands on each side of his head and whispering. "Don't push it Aaron. You have no idea what you're in for already." she warned as she sat the fairly large adjustable ring at his side.

He smirked slightly at her authority but remained quiet as she grabbed a small tube and filled her hand with the substance it held. She stretched both hands up above his cock and he drew in a breath but didn't speak. The contact of her hands, along with the cold lube covering his cock, caused his eyes to roll back in his head. As he watched her wrap her small fingers around his shaft, he began to harden. She massaged the specially flavored oil over his cock and then his balls. It took everything he had in him not to speak, to beg or to almost cry when she placed the ring at the base of his cock, pushing his scrotum through carefully and then his semi-hard cock. Emily didn't just buy this 'toy' and take a chance on hurting him, which the ring could actually do if used incorrectly. She did extensive reading about the item and how to use it. He knew it, not because he was a profiler, but because he trusted that she would do just that before risking his health.

"Relax Aaron, you're gonna need your strength." and then trailed kisses down his chest, not stopping until she reached his cock. He moaned at the contact of her hot tongue stroking the underside of his shaft and bucked his hips upward the best he could, only to receive a reprimandation from her.

"That is not how it's going to go Aaron." she informed him. "Be still."

"Yes Mistress." he said with the breath he had been holding.

Moving her tongue slowly over the head, she listened to his breathing. With every light flick of her tongue, his cock pulsed. She purposely let the length of his tie hang down across his balls and the sensation was overwhelming for him. He bucked agin, but just barely, and she knew that the fabric had successfully teased him. As he became harder and larger, she adjusted the size of the ring. His cock was large but she had never seen it as thick and hard as it was right at that moment.  
She moved further onto the bed and straddled his chest, turning her ass toward him but keeping it just high enough to where he wouldn't be able to get his mouth on her. He struggled lightly as she buried his member in her mouth and pumped him with her hand roughly.

"Mmm..ughh." he moaned. He was a wreck. With his cock in her mouth, her beautiful satin covered ass for him to view and the fact that he had no say about anything they did right now, was killing him slowly. She ignore his moans, pulled his cock from her mouth and bit down hard on his hip as she stroked his member. That was his breaking point. He jerked the cuffs as hard as he could, realizing that this was the moment that he'd lost every bit of that infamous control.

"Emily please!" he begged as his cock throbbed, becoming bigger than he had ever felt it himself.

"Please what Aaron?" she said, finally giving up forcing him to call Mistress. She didn't have the stamina for this and she knew it but she was determined to follow through with her plan. She turned her body around and faced him, now straddling his thighs.

"Please...I want you." he said softly with a yearning that she couldn't deny she'd heard before.

"No." she said briefly. "That's the difference here Aaron, between your punishment and mine. You wanted this so I'm going to help you see the reality of the situation. Do you understand?" she asked as more of his girlfriend than his 'Mistress'.

"Yes..." he said with an exhausted breath as his cock dripped with pre-cum.

She didn't want to hurt him physically or emotionally but she wanted to help him with his guilt and the next words she would say to him would definitely be effective.

"You wanted me that night. I didn't want you at the time and you gave me no choice. Now I'm giving you no choice." she said as she reached to the front clasp of her bra and released her breasts, throwing the garment to the floor. She knew he wasn't completely to blame for that night but these were the hurtful words that he needed to hear; words like he had spoken to her before.

"I'm sorry" he said sincerely, as she remembered something that he told her during one of their sessions where she had repeatedly apologized.

"I know you are." she told him in the most understanding tone. "But remorse and understanding your mistakes are two different things correct?"

"Yes" he told her, then biting his lip. He heard is own words being spoken back to him as she slid a little further down his legs, pushing her hand inside of her silk panties. She began to moan as she made circles with her fingers, drenching her fingers. As she played with herself right in front of him, he breathed in the scent of her as he struggled against the cuffs. The cuffs began to dig into his skin as he fought harder to somehow magically free himself, begging her with his eyes. She examined the ring around his cock, making sure it wasn't too tight, before she began pinching her nipples while rubbing her clit. She threw her head back and moaned loudly as she raised her hips up slightly and buried two fingers inside.

"Oh god..." he groaned as he watched her. She was beautiful and he had never felt so helpless in his life. He wanted to touch her so badly. He didn't want to just fuck her. All he could think about was how miserable it was to not be able to have her at all. He wanted to make love to her.

"Mmm...my god this feels so good." she said as she rubbed herself faster, looking at his huge erection, not being able to keep from wanting to climb up his body and fill her pussy full.

"Fuck...ahhh...Aaron..." she whimpered as she came closer to her orgasm that he was forced to watch. "Ohhh...mmm..." she moaned loudly as she shook over him, cumming all over her hand. She rubbed her slick fingers over her clit harder and knew she was going to cum again.

"Fuck..." She was out of control herself now as her eyes rolled back in her head and her body convulsed above his. She calmed after her orgasm as Hotch became unhinged.

"Emily, untie me now! Please Em...I need to cum." he begged as the headboard shook from his strength. "It hurts..."

"I know baby." She ignore his groveling and teased him further. "You wanna taste?" she asked with a grin as she held her wet fingers up in front if him.

"Please...yes" he asked kindly and she immediately brought her fingers toward him letting the tips enter his mouth.

"Lick them clean" she told him firmly and he did. His cock was about to exploded at the taste of her and he knew he may cum for the first time in his life without any contact.

"Em...please...wait, what are you doing?" he asked as she climbed off of him gently to stand beside the bed.

She reached for the lube and squeezed some out, letting it fall onto his now red cock. She loosened the ring barely from his very swollen shaft and he groaned loudly at the touch of her fingers.

"You have a beautiful cock Aaron." she said as she looked down at his body and moved away from the bed, retrieving her t-shirt.

"Thank you Emily" he said, lying there still tied to the bed as she pulled the v-neck over her saw her move to the door. "No...Em please." he pleaded.

"Do not cum Aaron." she said after turning to him. "I trust you not to do that." she told him whole heartedly.

"Em..." he said as he watched her walked out the door and shut it gently. The moment she walked out the door, she realized that her resentment toward him wasn't erased by the lashes she'd given him with the whip. She didn't feel any release from putting marks on his body but she did feel a dose of deliverance as she closed the door, leaving him aching, wanting that release but not being able to touch himself. It wasn't for spite. It was because it, somewhat, relieved the pain he had caused her. It was because he asked for punishment in any way that she saw fit and majorly because when she wanted release from him and his incarceration, he turned his back on her.

He laid there knowing that she'd come back. He just didn't know how long he could take this excruciating urge to cum. He wanted to keep his word to her that he wouldn't have an orgasm. That was the least he could do for her. He laid there silently on his back and thought about the things Emily had said and done and why she did so. As bad as the whip hurt him physically and as sexually frustrated as he was, neither pain was worse than her denying him the chance to touch her. He was sure however that the emotional, physical, and sexual pain that he had put her through was a hundred times worse. His cock ached tremendously and he was getting close to his climax, as breathing increased. Emily heard the handcuffs rattling from the other side of the guest room door. She'd never leave him in a position like that and she knew just how much time she had before she needed to release the cock ring from him.

Hotch was lying on the bed with tears streaming down his face. Looking toward the door, he called out for her as he heard the doorknob turn. It was like a stallion that had been brought to his knees, tamed finally.

"Emily...I'm so sorry baby...I'm so sorry." He repeated. "Please believe me. I need you to forgive me Em. I can't go on if you can't forgive me." he told her, crying harder as she moved to the side of the bed, confirming that he'd never had a orgasm.

She didn't say anything. After adding a little more of the oil to his semi flaccid cock, she adjusted the ring to a wider position and carefully removed it as a long groan came from deep in his chest. She laid the piece of silicone down on the bed and released his hands and feet. After cleaning him up with the small cloth she'd brought in the room, she crawled up on the bed. Now in her t-shirt and panties, she laid facing away from him and curled up in his arms. There were no words for the first couple of minutes after she snuggled up against him. They just laid there, together, his breath in her hair. They both had needed this and when she turned to face him, the small amount of emotional strength he had remaining wasn't enough to reassure his heart that he hadn't lost her.

"I forgive you" she said, laying her hand against his damp face. She wiped his tears as his breath hitched and he felt the relief he has needed most; the relief of knowing that she truly forgave him and the relief that he could move on. It wasn't that Jack didn't still hold the number one spot of his heart. He always would. It was different with Emily. They both fought so hard to have this relationship and it had grown tremendously and in so many ways. Ever since the night that 'Drunk Emily' confessed her true feelings for him, he fell in head first and was still drowning.

He searched her eyes as he kept his hand on her forearm, not wanting to scare her. "That means everything to me. Thank you." he said with a teary-eyed grin.

"You have to believe it, everyday Aaron. No matter what happens day in and day out, you have to remember that or were never gonna make it." she explained. "Let me ask you something."

"Anything." he said softly.

"Do you think maybe all you needed was my forgiveness?" she asked sincerely.

"No. It is a huge part, of course, but it was so hard to accept that after what I did to you, intentionally or not, that I was just going to get away with it because I was drugged. We go after the bad guys everyday but in the end maybe some of us aren't so different. We all have dark side and I've seen mine and I know that you believe you have as well." he said as she nodded in agreement. "I shouldn't have been so angry at you. I shouldn't have gone to the bar and I should have taken my pills in the beginning. If I had been more responsible at those times, none of this would have happened and..." he said as his voice broke.

"Baby...calm down." she said as he became upset again. "Don't talk" she said as she kissed his cheek, wanting to just enjoy this moment. The woman that loved him unconditionally was in his arms and he felt such an absolution. He was so happy just to be holding her again. He gently squeezed her a little tighter with his arm now around her waist. Their legs were intertwined as they lay there, both on their side, looking into each other's eyes.

"I love you." he whispered, his voice tired and weak.

"I love you too Aaron" she vowed with a sleepy voice. Just sleep baby."

He didn't want to sleep. He wanted to lie there and revel in the fact that she had forgiven him but his strength was gone, as was hers, leading them to sleep soundly for the first time in weeks.


	17. Chapter 17

Waking up to the smell of fresh brewing coffee, Hotch looked over to his right and found that he was alone in the guest room. He immediately felt the marks on his body and his private parts ached a little but nothing significant. He stood up and dressed himself in the jeans and polo he had on the night before. He noticed that everything Emily had used during his punishment had been cleaned up and put away. His clothes and shoes that were placed neatly in a chair in the corner of the room. As he tied his shoes, he wondered if she regretted doing what he had asked her to do. Maybe she regretted touching him that way or maybe she just regretted sleeping next to him. His mind was foggy but he did remember that she was the one that laid down with him and she told him that she had forgiven him.

As made his way down the hall, he looked at his watch to find that it was 9:30 and was glad it was Sunday. Jack had gone to Jessica's and the two of them had plans to see a movie, so Hotch knew he would have a little time to talk to Emily. At the end of the hall, he could see Emily sitting on the living room couch. He stood there for a moment watching her before she noticed his presence. She was beautiful. When he saw her damp hair, he could tell that she had been up for a while and that concerned him, as late as they had been up. She had cleaned the room, taken a shower and made coffee. Something was on her mind. She always cleaned when she was stressed out. He walked into the living room and when Emily heard him, she jerked her head around, spilling a little coffee on her hand.

"Shit!" she yelled, setting her mug on the coffee table and standing up. Hotch followed her into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" he asked, as she ran cold water over her hand from the faucet. He felt stupid that he actually thought just because they had slept in the same bed, she wasn't going to be scared of him anymore.

"Yeah...it's nothing. I'm fine." she told him, taking the towel from him. "Thank you."

"Of course" he said. "How long have you been awake?" he asked curiously.

"A few hours." she said as if it was not a big deal. "Do you want a cup?" she asked, blowing cool air on her burnt skin.

"Yes, thank you." he said, knowing something was up.

He watched her as grabbed a mug from the mug tree on the bar. He stood with her in the kitchen and as she began pouring his coffee from the pot, the glass clinking against the mug was a definite sign that something had upset her.

"Emily, your shaking." he pointed out as he moved behind her, taking the coffee pot from her hand, then pouring his coffee. He set the pot down and turned her gently to face him. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine, really. Just tired I guess." she said and turned away from him. "Emily...don't shut me out now please." he said as he followed her to the living room and sat on the couch beside her. "I'm assuming this is about last night." he said confidently as she raised her eyes to him.

"Are you...mad?" she asked very carefully.

"No. Why would I be mad at you?"

"I just...I just thought you may be upset because of what I did." she said, diverting her eyes.

"Emily...look at me please." he asked and she complied. "I asked you to do what you did. I'm not mad at you just because you did something I never expected. Was it miserable? Yes, some of it on so many different levels, but I can only imagine how many times I have done something that you didn't expect or something that scared you. I know I have." he said painfully.

"You've never actually scared me until that night. I may have often been anxious, nervous or anticipating the next thing you were gonna do but I was never scared. It's has taken me alot to get to where I am now and I'm trying Aaron, I really am." she told him, with tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"I know Em. I know you are." He said as he slid closer to her. She didn't jump but he saw her eyes blink quickly and her body move slightly away.

He put his hands to her face slowly and looked in her brown eyes. "God...what have I done to you?" he asked, wiping her tears as she saw the pain in his.

She didn't reply, but her look told him that she couldn't deny the fact that what she went through had effected her greatly. She didnt want him to feel guilty, she just wanted to feel completely safe again. She leaned over into his chest prompting him to lay back on the cushion as he felt the minor wounds on his back. She laid there listening to his heartbeat as he stroked her hair.

"I don't want to scare you anymore." he said.

She moved to a sitting position to face him. "I know. And I don't want to doubt you or your actions anymore." she said truthfully.

He pushed himself to sit up so he could see her eyes. "What is it that you have doubts about? That I'll hurt you? After what I told you?" he said hurtfully, continuing before she could speak. "I told you that I would never hurt you again and that the punishment deal is over and I meant what I said. I know it takes time but I want to spend that time talking openly and often. I don't wanna shut us down. It would be the worse thing we could do and it wouldn't be good for Jack."

"I know. Please don't think that I don't think about Jack and keep him and you as my top priorities. I do. Some of it's just awkward for me to talk about and some of it I just want to forget." she said, running her fingers through her hair.

"I understand. All I'm asking is for you not to turn me away and I'll do the same." he told her. "Deal?"

"Deal." said with a smile.

"Alright, let's get out of here." he said jumping up from the couch.

"And go where? " she asked, confused.

"Sunday brunch and then we'll pick up Jack." he informed her.

"But..." she began.

"No buts. We've already let our coffee get cold. I'll get a shower and we will get you some Blueberry. Pancakes." he said in a strong baritone voice.

She laughed out loud for the first time in weeks. "I love the way you say blueberry." she teased.

"Blue...berry..." he repeated in the same tone as she laughed harder. "I'll be right out." he said, hurrying off to the master bath.

Emily walked into the newly remodeled bedroom to grab a pair of shoes and saw Hotch in the bathroom in his towel. She saw the marks on his back and felt the knots in her stomach.

He turned to face her before she had time to turn away. "Hey...sorry." he said as he began to close the door.

"No, Aaron...it's okay. Can you come here?" she asked politely.

He walked over to her, a little surprised, his body still damp in places.

"Turn around please." she asked.

"Emily..."

"Aaron please." she asked firmly but softly.

He turned his back to her and after a soft gasp, her hand went up over her mouth. Her eyes traveled over the areas she had inflicted with the belt and the whip and whelps that were still there. Seeing this in the morning light was surreal. Though she knew he had left marks on her own body, it didn't make her feel any better and knew that it shouldn't. She knew their must be blood on the sheets in the guest room and made plans mentally to soak in the washing machine before they left.

He heard her gasp and then turned around. "I'm alright Emily, don't do that." he pleaded. "Okay?"

A nod of her head was the only way she could communicate at first but then she knew he needed confirmation.

"Okay."

After their brunch, Hotch and Emily had an hour before it was time to pick up Jack, so they went home and Hotch bagged up everything from their 'toy' box and any other items that they had used in the past. He put them in black trash bag and took it to the apartment dumpster. He came back inside when Emily passed him in the hallway.

"Did you get rid of everything?" she asked, looking up at him.

"No. The only thing I kept was the blindfold and the vibrator. The bullet you like." he said and paused. "If you aren't comfortable with that, I will get rid of everything but I want you to know that it will never be that way again Emily. Anything we do from now on is your choice. I just thought maybe those three items were harmless. I don't want us to be afraid to have fun sometimes. I'll never do anything, ever, that you don't want." he said as she saw the truth in his eyes.

She stood there much shorter than him without her shoes on, and listened. He was right. Those three items were harmless and she didn't want to be afraid to have sexual experiences with him in the future. Then she realized he said 'three'.

"Wait...you said three." she told him, becoming confused.

"Oh...yeah. Well...I kept the cock ring." he said with a grin.


	18. Chapter 18

Two weeks later, Hotch and Emily were both back at work full time. Hotch had done well but he did have one episode with one of the locals in Florida until Emily took Hotch down a notch or two.

Flashback

"Hotch, you need to calm down." Emily said as she walked into the sheriff's office and closed the door.

"Do not patronize me Emily. You know we can't let these locals undermine us. They've gotten themselves killed because of that just because they don't believe in what we do." he said firmly.

"I know. I didn't say you were wrong Hotch. I was just saying that maybe you needed to use a different approach." she said, giving him his glare right back. "Baby..." she said as Hotch looked at Rossi standing outside the glass doors of the small office. Rossi nodded his head at him and Hotch knew that Emily wasn't the only one noticing his temper. "I'm only trying to help okay? You said to be open with you and I am. You don't need any trouble." she reminded him. "You were already up in his face and it's only going to get worse."

He shook his head, looking at her and sighing, obviously feeling extremely stressed. "You're right. I apologize. Thank you."

She looked up at him, giving him a small smile. "Look, we're close. One more day at the most and we'll have this dirt bag and we can go home and make some plans with Jack okay?"

He nodded his head, feeling a little relieved. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Me either", she said with a smirk.

End Flashback

Emily had gone back on cases and in the field a week earlier than Hotch and found it odd and so hard to be there without him. They would text when they could and Hotch's favorite time to doing this was when Emily was on the plane ride home where he could have her full attention. He missed her so much and she told him the same. Morgan had taken over the Unit Chief position until Hotch's return and did a great job at it once again. Of course this time around it was a little more comfortable for him to jump right in.

The team had two days off work and one of them fell right on Emily's birthday. Hotch had a surprise up his sleeve and Jack would be in on it too but only moments beforehand since he still tended to 'let the cat out of the bag' at his age.

"Jack? Are you ready to go?" Hotch shouted from the living room.

Jack came running down the hall, where he ran into his dad, literally.

"Hey, don't you think you're too big to be running in the house Jack? " his father questioned him.

"Sorry Dad" he said truthfully.

"It's okay but you could hurt someone like that." he said firmily.

"I know. I'm sorry." he said again.

"Jack..." he said as he squatted to the floor in front of his son. "It's important to say you're sorry but don't let it consume you." he said as Jack gave his father a confused look. "Just don't worry all the time that the other person hasn't or won't forgive you. Just let them know that you will do whatever you can to be sure that it doesn't happen again okay?" he asked him, hoping he understood.

"Okay Dad. I understand." he said as his grinned at him, obviously waiting for his dad to continue but he didn't. "So when are you going to tell me Emily's surprise?" he asked excitedly.

Hotch held up his index finger and motioned for him to come closer. He whispered in his ear as Emily came down the hall, dressed and ready to go, though she had no idea where to.

"Okay...you said to dress in very casual clothes so..." she started but then her attention was caught by the two con artists in the room. "What are you two whispering about?" she asked with a smile.

Hotch and Jack both turned to her and spoke in unison. "Nothing!" they both said as Jack giggled. Hotch avoided her insistence to know what was going on and grabbed his keys from the bar.

"Let's go!" he said aloud.

Hotch pulled up to a huge house about twenty miles from home and Emily was more than confused. There were kids playing in the yard and jumping on the trampoline and a man doing yard work on an impeccable lawn.

"Where the...where are we Aaron?" she asked, rephrasing her question in front of Jack.

"You'll see." was all he said as Jack added in his excitement.

"Come on Emily! You're gonna love..." he began when his dad spoke over him.

"Jack..." he said in a harsh tone.

"I'm not gonna tell her Dad." he assured him.

"Let's go." Hotch said looking at Emily as the wheels were turning in her head.

"Yes!" Jack yelled.

The three of them walked up to the house and we're greeted by an older lady, but not much older than Hotch and Emily.

"Hi, my name is Elaine. Come this way please." she said kindly. She took them to an extended part of their garage and open the door, allowing them to go in first.

Emily's eyes became watery when she saw ten Dalmatian puppies waking up from their nap. "Oh my god Aaron." she said as she turned to him, taking in his conniving smile. "Jack look! They're so beautiful!" she said as the lady closed the door as the puppies started to become more awake.

There were so many puppies, all gathering around the smallest person in the garage. Jack could hardly move as they all became excited around him.

"Are you set on a male or female?" Elaine asked with a smile.

Emily looked at Hotch as her eyes lit up. "What? We're taking one home?" she asked him.

"Happy Birthday!" he told her with his best smile, hoping she would be alright with him planning this without discussing it with her.

"But how... " she began when he eased her mind.

"I've got it all worked out Emily, don't worry." he said and she took his word for it.

She didn't fight him on it another moment. She had wanted a Dalmatian ever since she was a little girl. Her mother had statues of Dalmatians in her office, even now, but the day never came when her mother would own up to her offer to get Emily a dog of this breed. Since she'd left home, there was never time or maybe space for a large dog, but the apartment Hotch had recently rented was larger than the other and allowed pets. Hotch had already purchased a large training crate and all the other items the puppy would need.

After twenty minutes, Emily had made her decision and was riding home with a spotted female puppy in her lap. She was beautiful. Her fur was mostly white with the perfect amount of black spots that hardly overlapped and had the prettiest brown eyes.

"Aaron, what are we going to do if we're gone for days on a case?" she asked.

"Well, I've worked some of that out with Jessica. She is great with dogs, you know that, and Dalmatians are always ready to go somewhere. Always." he said confidently as she rolled her eyes and snickered. "I'm not going to bring a dog into the house and not understand everything there is to know about the breed."

"And how is it that you know everything there is to know about them?" she replied with a grin.

Hotch looked back at the road, then back to her. "From the 'Everything There Is To Know About Dalmatians' book." he said shyly, motivating Emily into sudden laughter.

"What are you going to name her Emily?" Jack asked from the back seat, trying his best to peek around Emily's seat at the puppy.

"How about Millie?" she said to both Hotchner men as they came closer to home.

"Sounds good to me." Hotch said, smiling at Emily.

"Me too!" Jack agreed. "But who has to pick up the poop?"


	19. Chapter 19

After arriving home the same day, Emily and Jack were in the master bathroom giving Millie a bath when Hotch walked into see the two of them with wet clothing.

"Who's giving who a bath in here?" He laughed at the two of them as Millie put her front paws on the edge of the tub and peeked over the side, her tail wagging rapidly.

"She's crazy Dad!" Jack said giggling as he was given a puppy kiss that he wasn't prepared for. "Gross!" He said, wiping his face with a nearby clean towel.

Hotch stood in the doorway smiling big, as Emily turned to face him.

"Are you just gonna stand there and laugh or hand me another towel?" she teased with a smile, as Jack discarded his t-shirt and went to his room for a dry one.

Hotch handed her a towel, slipping but not falling as Emily snickered.

"This was your idea." she said as she wrapped the puppy and held her in her arms and smiled at him.

Instead of replying, he just smiled and then kissed her on the cheek. He pulled back and the two of them just stared into each other's eyes. They both felt it. The change; the change that made everything feel like it used to. Emily leaned toward him and raised herself to her toes and kissed him on the lips. The kiss was sweet and gentle until Millie began to whimper and wiggle between the two of them.

"I guess I better get her dried off " she said, not really wanting to move away from him.

"Yeah...I guess so." he replied hesitantly. "I miss you Em." he told her with such longing.

"I know baby. I miss you too." she said, rubbing the puppy's fur with the towel.

"Happy Birthday Emily" he told her, smiling.

"Thank you" she replied, returning the gesture.

After getting cleaned up, Hotch took Emily out for dinner at her favorite Italian restaurant. J.J. had volunteered to keep Jack for the night and give him and Henry some playtime. The meal was amazing and it was the first time that Emily or Hotch had eaten well in a while. After a couple of drinks, Hotch stood up from the booth and held his hand out and smiled down on her. Emily thought he looked so handsome in the navy blue dress shirt she'd bought him for Christmas the year before. She looked up at him, dressed in a black knee length dress that hugged every beautiful curve. The dress wasn't very low cut but low enough for Hotch to view her silky skin.

"Could I have this dance?" he asked in a gentlemanly tone.

"Yes" she said, smiling, as she took his hand and followed him to the dance floor.

As they began to dance, moving more comfortably close together, Emily felt his hand lightly rubbing her back. She found that the nervousness and negative thoughts from the past didn't come to her like the did before. They weren't as clear in her mind and she was thankful for that. She knew it would be a while before she forgot all the things she wanted to and realized that some memories would be there to stay. But right now, in this moment, she felt good and she felt safe in his arms.

"You smell really nice " she told him as she moved her hand in his.

"I could say the same thing to you." he replied.

"Then do." she said, almost pleading.

He moved his lips close to her ear. "You smell really nice Emily." he said as she caught another whiff of his cologne. "I like this. It's been awhile."

"Yes it has" she said as they swayed to the solo piano playing. Emily moved her hand over his back and his breath hitched.

Leaning back, he took a good look at her as they moved over the floor with only two other couples nearby. "We're gonna be alright aren't we?" he asked searching her eyes, not being able to let go of the fear that he could still lose her.

"Yes Aaron. We're gonna be fine." she said indefinitely as she pulled him closer, laying her head on his chest.

After a couple of dances, the two left the restaurant for home. They changed their clothes and put on something more comforatble, which was Hotch in his usual sleep pants and t-shirt and Emily wearing the same. She had always worn shorts but had gotten used to the sleep pants from wearing them around Jack, hiding her legs during the first couple of weeks after they were marked. Hotch wanted to spend the rest of the evening however Emily wanted. It was her day.

Hotch didn't want to admit it but the new addition to the family took up with him very quickly. He had fed Millie, taken her outside and put her in the training crate by the time Emily was out of the shower. Emily may have had a hard time bathing Millie, but the puppy took in Hotch's stern tone and obeyed him pretty well. This didn't surprise Emily. He washed his hands in the kitchen sink and prepared a snack before the two followed through with Emily's plans to watch a movie with him.

"Hey..." Emily said, walking into the kitchen, her nostrils filling with an awful smell. Hotch was closing the trash can lid as she came in. "Did you burn the popcorn again?" she teased.

He walked over to her and put his arms around her. "Yes I did." he said, clearly dissapointed in himself.

Emily giggled. "How is it that you can cook amazing dishes but you can't cook popcorn?"

"Because I'm incredibly talented that way." he teased back. "Want me to cook another bag?"

"Uh no, I'll get it." she told him, patting him on his chest as she headed for the cabinet. "Can you work the DVD player?"

He gave her that dimpled smile and moved quickly to her, laughing. He grabbed her quickly as she squealed and began tickling her.

"Aaron stop!" she yelled with laughter as she tried to wiggle away from him.

He continued his playful attack a few seconds longer until her smile diverted his attention. He stopped completely, putting his arms around her as Emily continued to laugh. She looked up at him as his arms stayed around her waist. He noticed that she had relaxed completely and he took a chance and leaned down to kiss her. Not only did she not stop him but her arms went around his neck as she pulled him to her. The kiss became heated quick and their hands roamed over each other's back and through each other's hair. Hotch wasn't sure what exactly to do but he knew he wanted to make love to her; something that he would leave up to her. Emily broke the kiss, pushed herself out of his arms gently and leaned against the counter, looking up at him.

"I'm sor..." he began.

"No...it's okay. I don't want to give you the idea that I don't want you. It was just unexpected I guess." she said honestly.

"Aren't those the best kisses? The unexpected?" he asked seriously, but with a smile.

"Yes. Yes they are." she agreed, but didn't feel completely certain about the situation, which he noticed.

"I'll start the movie. You fix the popcorn. Deal?" he asked.

"Deal." she complied, turning around to begin fixing the popcorn, silently thanking him for being patient with her.

At 10:45 pm, Hotch looked at his watch and then down at Emily, sleeping soundly on his chest. He sat there and just watched her sleep for ten minutes. Even fragile and broken, by him, he could only see the strongest woman he'd ever met. As he played with her hair lightly, he thought about all the things that had happened over the last serval weeks. They had been through so much but each of them were healing in their own ways and sometimes together. Emily always knew in her heart that Hotch never would have done the things he did to her if he hadn't been drugged. The effects; the emotional, the physical and even the mental had faded alot for Emily. She found her strength through his trying and succeeding at becoming better. He gave the chance of saving this relationship, and the relationship with his son, everything he had and she knew it was genuine. Tears rimmed his eyes as he realized that he had it all; everything that anyone could ask for, and he wasn't letting her get away.

The room was quiet after the movie was over and Hotch had been too happy right where he was to move.

He woke her gently and the first thing she heard was his heartbeat. She laid against his chest and and moaned as she raised herself up.

"Oh I'm sorry Aaron." she said with a groggy voice, yawning.

He rubbed his hand over her back. "It's okay. It's been a long day sweetie."

"Well, I guess I'll go to bed." she said, now completely sitting up. "Thank you for a wonderful birthday. I love Millie and Jack seems to too. You know I loved dinner and the dance..." she paused, blinking her eyes rapidly as her emotions took over. "...the dance was very special to me." she told him, her voice failing her. He watched as she straightened up her posture and blinked away her tears. He knew that it was best if he just allowed her to use that incredible strength of hers.

"I'm glad you finally got the dog you wanted. The look on your face made it worth it all. It's been a long time since I've seen that smile." he told her, his eyes lighting up. Giving him a smile back, she stood up watching him mirror her actions.

"I think I'll sleep in the bedroom since Jack isn't here." he told her as she looked up at him.

"Okay...that's a good idea." she said as she stumbled a little.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, just a little dizzy, that's all." she said, trying not to worry him further. She felt fine. It was just that her heart was racing like a teenager's. He had truly never known what a hold he had on her, in so many ways.

"Here..." he motioned, holding out his arms. "I'll carry you to bed." he said, then realizing how it must have sounded to her. "I mean...your bed" he corrected himself.

"Aaron..." she laughed. "It's okay. I can walk."

"Come on." he pleaded. "I'll be good." he said, closing his eyes at his embarrassment, realizing that his last words came out just as wrong as the first. "I meant..." he began.

"I know what you meant Aaron." she said, standing there staring into his eyes, soaking up his gentlemanly manners. "Okay... but if you drop me..." she began.

"I've carried you before Em" he reminded her, laughing as he scooped her up from the floor and carried her down the hall. He stopped at the guest bedroom door and Emily turned to face him.

"Emily, you're gonna have to turn the knob. I kind of have my hands full." he told her with a smirk.

"Wrong room." she told him, then watching his smirk disappear into a look of reverence.


	20. Chapter 20

"Emily..." he said breathlessly almost as a question.

"I'm sure Aaron." she promised him quickly.

Standing in the dim hallway with her arms around his neck, he said no more. He knew she'd never make a choice like this without being sure. His heart flooded his mind with thoughts that maybe this was the moment he was given to make her feel whole again; to feel truly like a woman and be treated like one. Not that he hadn't done this before, but now it was different. She needed to be pieced back together and not only did he know that he should be the one to do that, he wanted to.

He enter the new room and laid her on the bed. She scooted toward the headboard, then noticed him walking to the small dresser in the room. She sat up quickly.

"What are you doing?" she asked, not really scared, just a little apprehensive.

"Nothing you should fear I promise" he said as he placed three large candles around in the room, lighting each one, then walking back to the side of the bed, looking down at her. "Nothing like that is going to happen. No belts, no whips, no binding. Nothing like that." he informed her as she smiled. "Just me and you."

Smiling, Emily moved to her knees and came closer to the side of the bed in front of him. She reached to his waist and pulled his cotton shirt above his head. Her hands roamed over his chest as she kissed her way down his toned abdomen. He wrapped his hands in her hair gently as his head fell back at the touch of her soft lips. She moved lower and lower with her kisses until she reached the waistband of his cotton pants.

"Turn around Aaron" she said, using her hands to assist him. He turned around, not really sure why, then inhaling a sharp breath when he felt her mouth touch the, now mostly healed, marks on his back. She proceeded with light touches of her lips and tongue as she felt his hard muscles under her small hands. She could barely see the areas where she had struck him, thankful that they were fading over time as her own did. He stood there feeling like this was her remorse for something that he asked her to do and that's the last thing he wanted her to feel right now.

He turned around slowly to face her and looking down at her, he smiled just enough for his eyes to squint. "I love you Emily."

"And I love you too..." she said, then adding what he needed to hear. "And I trust you."

He took her face in his hands and lean down to give her a kiss that turned into a rage of passion. His hands fell to her waist and his fingertips barely touched her skin as he stopped the kiss long enough to lift her shirt over her head, letting it fall where it chose. They resume their kiss quickly as Emily fell lightly against the bed as he moved his upper body over hers. She felt him beginning to harden as his erection pushed against her thigh. Feeling her hand at his hip, obvious to him heading for his cock, he took her hand and raised it above her head slowly and held it there gently. The touch of his mouth on her neck melted her and the fact that he was being so gentle only made the feeling more intense. His lips moved gently down her neck, trailing their way between her breasts as her hands ran wildly through his hair. He stroked his tongue over any skin that wasn't covered by her bra. Letting go of her hand, he reached to her shoulders, pulling the straps down as she sat up slightly until he removed the garment. As she laid back down, he sat on his knees, between her legs, and pulled the rest of her clothing down her long legs. He threw the clothes aside and took his own sleep pants off, leaving his boxer briefs on.

She knew why he didn't take his underwear off. She had told him once that she loved the way the cotton felt. She admitted to him that there was something about the cotton between her bare pussy and his hard cock as he'd rub against her.

Hotch took a hold of one of her ankles and raised her leg straight up in the air as he held it snuggly in his hand. Emily watched as he placed kisses over her ankle and calf. When his lips reached the inside of her thigh, she moaned. Soon Emily was surprised when he turned her over gently to her stomach.

"Lie still baby" he whispered.

He moved her long hair to the side and began kissing the back of her neck, then moving to her lower back. Emily moaned an incoherent word that sounded something like 'Please'.

"I wanna touch you everywhere." he said, barely touching her skin with his lips. His tongue made one long stroke along her spine and she was struck with an ache between her legs. His next movement stripped her remaining patience to shreads. His tongue ran along the curve of her ass and she rubbed herself, unconsciously against the sheets.

"Aaron..." she begged in a whisper.

He turned her back over and with her center right in front of him, he pushed her legs apart fairly quickly, but gently, and took her pussy completely in his mouth.

"Oh my...god..." she said as she fisted her hands in the sheets as he devoured her. His tongue danced all over her wetness and with every moan, he became harder.

Emily's whimpers filled the room as she buried her hands in his hair while her calves moved over his toned back. As no surprise to her, he was talented with his tongue, among other things, but tonight was different. He was worshiping her body, attempting to heal every part he had broken. Phyically, emotionally and mentally. Her forgiveness to him meant everything and the only other thing he craved was for her to never be scared of him again.

The moment she looked down at him, he looked up as he continued bathing her with his tongue. She could see him just well enough in the candlelight to watch one of the sexiest moments of her life. He ran his tongue from her opening to her clit as he smiled at her and then back down again.

"Ohh mmm...god...Aaron please...now? she politely asked him as her buried a finger inside of her core, causing her to raise her hips.

"Em you're burning up inside" he said as he moved up to meet her eyes, then whispered in her ear as he fingered her. "Soon baby" he said confidently because his cock ached to be inside of her.

He didn't remove his finger and seconds later added another. While dragging his fingers in and out of her slowly, he covered her nipples with his mouth and sucked considerably hard as her hands gripped his back. As he continued his loving assault on her breasts, he continued to make her squirm underneath his hand. Pulling his shoulder to her mouth, she bit it slightly causing him to moan loudly, knowing the effect it would have on him. He pulled his fingers from her, hearing her groan at the loss. He covered his body with hers and rubbed his cock against her core as she felt the cotton between them. She moved her hands to his firm ass as he moved against her. The feeling was amazing but when she heard his painful moan, she pushed his only piece of clothing over his cheeks. They both struggled to get them off and when they succeeded, he laid his naked body against hers as he looked into her eyes.

"I don't wanna hurt you." she heard him say, knowing that he was referring to the fact that he becomes animalistic at times.

"I'll let you know baby" she assured him.

She pulled his lips to hers and he reached between them taking his cock in his hand and rubbing it against her pussy. He pushed into her slowly and she gasp lightly. It didn't matter how often they made love, she always had to except him slowly. He pushed forward a little when he felt her hands on his ass, pushing him into her further.

"Ahh..." he released as he rocked into her, then drawing himself out slowly, savoring every second. With every push and pull from each of them, they began to become unhinged at the same time, gasping in each other's ear.

"Baby..." she whined. "Plea...se...deeper." she said pressed.

Wrapping the curve of his elbow behind the back of her knee, he lifted up her leg as he grabbed her ass and sank deeper into her. The heat inside of her seemed more intense than ever and as he felt himself sliding against her silk walls, he had to change the angle or this would be over before they needed it to. Pulling her up from the sheets, he wrapped his arms around her back and sat down on the bed, still buried inside. The back of her thighs clashed against the top of his as she rode him, taking all of what he had to give her. With his mouth soaking her nipples and his large hands squeezing her ass, she knew she was close. As she held onto his shoulders, he moved his hands from her perfect ass to the bed behind him. As she barred down on him, he pushed up and she just enjoyed the ride, watching the muscles in his abdomen flex. He took her mouth with his and they kissed wildly until she heard him draw in a quick breath.

"Baby no..." she begged, but his tears stubbornly surfaced anyway. "It's alright" she told him as his tears fell to her chest, provoking her to cry as well.

"I love you Emily" he whispered.

"I love you too Aaron" she said, taking a hold of his face, wiping his tears. "Look at me" she demaded as his strokes became faster, pushing Emily to her brink.

"I love you baby...mmm..." she moaned as his hands went to her round ass again, squeezing it hard. She assumed that he would spank her. There was almost never a time when his hands were on her ass and he didn't spank her but this time he didn't. He rubbed his rough hands all over her cheeks as she pounded harder, filling herself full repeatedly. The fact that he hadn't taken complete control turned her on even more. She moved her hips in a circular motion over him and when he heard her whimper become loud and lingering, he latched onto a nipple again making her fall apart above him.

"Aaron" she said, her voice trembling as she clung onto his body, shaking uncontrollably.

He felt her flutter around him and he finally lost his control. Being here, finally making love to her the way her should have every night, was overwhelming for him. He had never felt such peace in his life. He laid her back to the bed as she continued to ache around him and he lost himself. She had never heard sounds like this coming from him. His hunger for her combined with his tears was more than she could handle and they both just cried, clawing at each other like they'd never have this chance again. He raised one arm above her head and place his palm against the wall, holding her hip down with the other as he pumped into her, faster now, bringing him near his release.

"Just feel me Aaron. Just..." she tried to say as he found a new angle that took her breath but gave her another orgam. He felt her walls tighten around him again.

"Em..." he moaned and she felt him begin to tremble. He looked down at her, letting her feel every inch of him, as he gave her three extremely slow strokes, then emptying himself inside her. He literally yelled as he came and she realized just how much of a release that this was for him. He needed this as much as she did.

They both fell to the bed exhausted. Emily laid against his chest, rubbing his stomach lightly with her fingers.

"Happy Birthday Baby" he said sweetly, rubbing her bare back as they laid there covered with the sheet only.

"Thank you" she said, sitting up to kiss him. "Best birthday ever." she told him as he smile down at her.

"Good" he said simply.

"Aaron?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Do you believe everything happens for a reason?" she asked.

"Well...no I don't. Not everything. But I do believe that some things are tests of our strength, faith and our love." he said truthfully.

"Then I would say we passed on all three accounts, wouldn't you?" she said proudly.

He kissed her on her forehead and pulled her closer to him. "Yes I would."


	21. Chapter 21

Jack scored his first goal of the season after having missed the first couple of games. He may have been upset that he didn't get to start with the rest of the team but as soon as his feet hit the game field, his face lit up. Waving quickly, he ran by the area where his father and Emily stood at the sideline with Millie on a leash.

"I scored! Did you see Dad?" he shouted.

"I did! Way to go Jack!" he yelled proudly as Millie barked at Jack, wagging her tail.

Emily stood there watching Hotch as his face lit up as well. His eyes moved from the soccer field to her beautiful smile.

"What?" he asked curiously with a grin.

"It's just really good to see you happy." she said rubbing his back.

"I am happy. Very happy." he said as he put his arm around her, pulling her closer. "I know how he felt Em. I took away his ability to do the thing he loves to do most, just like the person in the bar took away mine." he explained.

"Yes, but no matter what else was going on in our lives, the drug had a huge effect on everything." she said as he nodded in agreement. "That's what we're both going to have to accept."

"It's been really hard on all of us." he said seriously.

"Yes it has" she said, watching Jack kick the ball toward the goal, setting it up for another player. "That's why we have to talk and listen to each other, everyday." she said, turning to him. "Deal?"

"Deal" he said with a smile as Jack's team scored their winning goal. He and Emily screamed and clapped as Millie laid at Hotch's feet.

After the game they all went to celebrate at "Doc's Ice Cream" that served a safe ice cream for dogs which was topped off with a milk biscuit. Millie enjoyed her treat and Jack's also, when she snuck a lick from his cup, prompting Hotch to buy another one for Jack.

Emily laughed when Hotch got back to their table with Jack's replacement and his own cone that he had decided against getting when they had first arrived.

Where's Jack?" he asked, looking around. "And where's Millie?"

"Over there in the grass" she said pointing ten feet away. "Couldn't resist huh?" she teased as he smiled at her. "What flavor did you get?" she asked, moving closer to the cone in his hand.

"You have your own. Back away" he told her quickly as he drew his hand back, smiling.

"Come on, just a taste" she pleaded, grabbing his wrist while holding her small cup of Pistachio ice cream in her other hand.

His eyes fixated on her tongue as it swirled around the soft dessert and he was glad he was wearing sunglasses. He leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"That's just wrong on so many levels." he said with arousal in his voice.

Approximately two weeks later Hotch and Emily were back at work, full time and full blast. Everyone on the team had been very supportive and very discreet about everything. None of the team members brought it up but they did make sure Hotch and Emily knew that they were there for them at any time, day or night.

Garcia had apparently, all on her own, planned a small party for the team. She said it had been way too long and she wasn't taking no for an answer from anyone. Garcia worked the party into their insane schedule and things actually worked out. Will offered to keep Henry and Jack for the night so that JJ, Hotch and Emily could attend the party and the boys could have a sleepover. The team was blessed with a night of uninterrupted fun.

"Hello hello!" Garcia said as Hotch and Emily entered her unique but relaxing home, seeing that everyone else was already there, having a drink.

As they walked further inside, Hotch teased Garcia. "Garcia, do you have the fire department on stand by?" he asked with a laugh, referring to all the candles she had sitting everywhere.

"Funny stuff boss man!" she said, swatting him on the arm.

Everyone enjoyed the next hour talking, laughing and telling stories on each other from their past as a team.

"She did not!" Reid said ethusiastically.

"Pretty boy, don't even." he said to Reid, then turning his attention to everyone else. "I'm telling you guys, that hooker pinned him..."

"Morgan...I have two words to say to you. Virginia. Beach." he said, threatening him with his eyes. "Virginia Beach...that's all I'm saying."

"Alright, alright. You win." Morgan said, giving in, knowing exactly what had happened at Virginia Beach.

"So who's really for another drink?" Garcia asked.

"Me!" Emily said, knowing that Hotch offered to be Emily's designated driver for the night. "Tequila Sunrise!"

"I'll fix it Penelope" Hotch said, walking to the kitchen where she stood. "I know how she likes it." he said, forgetting for a split second that he was talking to Garcia.

She leaned over and whispered to him. "I'm sure you do Sir." she said with a laugh as Hotch blushed immediately. "You have everything you need Sir?" she asked kindly.

"Yes...I think I do. Thank you for your help Penelope." he said with a smile and a wink as she proceeded into the living room to join the others.

"Okay Em, here's your drink." he said, walking into the living room.

Emily turned around to get her drink, laughing at Rossi's last comment, when Hotch dropped to one knee in front of her. He looked up at her as her hand covered her mouth and tears came to her eyes.

Garcia squealed and the others gasped when he took Emily's hand until the men began cheering Hotch on with their howling noises, making sure to embarrass him.

After a 'Thatta Boy', an 'It's about time' and a 'Hotchner!', they calmed down enough to hear Hotch ask a question he had wanted to for years. He opened up a small white velvet box and swallowed hard as his eyes stayed on hers.

"Emily...you mean the world to me. I have loved you for so long and for you to stand by me the way you have, and love Jack the way you do, tells me that you are the only person that I belong with" he said as she squeezed his hand harder, wiping her tears with the other. "I'm asking you to share the rest of your life with me and Jack." he said with a teary-eyed smile. "Will you be my wife?"

"Yes! Of course I will!" she said without hesitation as he slipped the sparkling diamond on her finger. He moved to stand in front her, bringing his lips to hers as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Everyone cheered so loudly that Garcia teased everyone about getting kicked out of her apartment. After everyone's congratulations', Hotch had one glass of champagne to honor the toasts their friends presented. After an hour of talking about wedding plans, karaoke and gazing at Emily's ring, everyone was heading home.

"Thank you Penelope" Hotch said as he and Emily put on their coats, being the last ones to leave.

"You are very welcome Sir. I wouldn't have missed the opportunity to help for a basket of kittens and that's saying alot. I'm so happy for both of you." she replied as she gave them her biggest smile.

"You mean you knew about this the whole time Pen?" Emily said surprised.

"Yes my sweet...I sure did. I can keep a secret, contrary to popular belief." she said, winking at Hotch. "But I didn't help out with the ring. That was all your hunk 'o man right here."

Emily laughed as she looked down at the ring. "Yeah it's beautiful" she said, looking over at Hotch. Their eyes locked and for a moment it was like no one else was standing there.

Garcia whistled, waving her hand around as Hotch and Emily became unaware that they were leaning in for a kiss. "I may be happy for you two but I don't need to see all that!"

"Sorry" they both said with a laugh.

"It's alright! Now, go home and tame that tiger Em!" Garcia said when the two of them paused their movements, unconsciously looking at her with peculiar faces. "Did I say something wrong?" she asked with a concerned face.

Emily quickly changed her expression. "No..no Pen you didn't at all!" she said assuredly as Hotch agreed with Emily, shaking his head.

"Thank you so much for everything Pen" Hotch said, opening the door to leave.

"Yes thank you. It was great" Emily said.

"You're welcome. See you guys Monday!" she replied, closing the door.

Emily and Hotch finally had their moment alone as they stood on the other side of the closed door. He took her hands in his face and kiss her gently, wrapping his arms around her tightly as the kiss deepend.

"Mmm..." Emily said after breaking the kiss. "I love you" she told him, staring into his eyes, smiling. "I'm so happy Aaron."

"That's all that I want" he said with a smile as the truth of how unhappy he had made her in their recent past, tore at him still. "I love you too Emily."

Emily smiled more genuinely than Hotch had ever seen as she squeezed his hand and pulled him toward their car.

"Let's go home" she told him, raising her eyebrows at him, letting him know that the time they were going to have at home alone tonight was going to be well spent.

"Emily Hotchner" he said as they reached the car. "That has a nice ring to it" he said, smiling.

Emily laughed. "Oh, I knew that a long time ago."

I really hope you all enjoyed this story. It was very hard to write, very emotional but I'm glad it's complete now. To those of you who take the time to leave reveiws, I do appreciate it. I know there's alot of readers out there who refuse to do that, and that's your choice but it only hurts when you don't because it can be discouraging, which in turn...no stories.


End file.
